


Long, Hard Road Out of Hell

by FlameWolf



Series: The Tainted Love Trilogy [3]
Category: Marilyn Manson (Band)
Genre: Alcoholism, Angst, Bisexual Behavior, Biting, Dominant Displays, F/M, Gore, Hurt/Comfort, Light Bondage, Mentions of Domestic Abuse (Past Only), Mentions of miscarriage, Possessive Behavior, Pregnancy, Pregnant Sex, Rough Sex, Self-Harm, Violent Acting Out, Wall Sex, attempted suicide, depressive behavior, graphic birth, light bloodplay, public grinding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2018-07-22 00:48:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 82,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7411888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlameWolf/pseuds/FlameWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Final Part of the Tainted Love Trilogy.</p><p>Raven was utterly shattered and left to pick up the pieces by a seemingly uncaring Manson.  Thankfully she has plenty of friends there to help but she soon takes a turn for the worse.  Will the 'Antichrist Superstar' be able to put aside his demons to pull her out of the darkness?  Or will everything they worked for crumble?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cold Inside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: As you know, I still do not know Marilyn Manson, Johnny Depp or any of the other famous people in this fic. This story is, of course, fiction. This was written for fun and no profit will be made.
> 
> Author’s Note: This is the sequel to ‘The Rose and Thorn’ and final in the trilogy. *hides from the mob with torches and pitchforks* I’m so sorry for how the last one ended, really I am! It was as hard for me to write as it was for you to read! If the ending didn’t drive you away, I hope you enjoy the final installment.

    Johnny sighed as he sprawled on the long couch, a black clad arm flung over his eyes.  The last few months had been nearly unbearable and the actor had to make some rather cruel decisions.  After weeks of a certain writer bad mouthing and cussing out Manson, the actor had to put his foot down about it.  It was obviously only distressing the unstable Raven even more and he had given Amanda a rather brutal ultimatum.  Either stop doing it period or find somewhere else to stay until the stricken female was better.  The journalist had been about ready to skin him when Ginger had thankfully intervened.  Luckily it wasn’t too long before the band left with the rocker on tour, the curly haired writer staying behind to help care for the bedridden female upstairs.

    The next hard decision had been to start forcing Raven to come downstairs to socialize.  Staying up in the room she had shared with Manson all day for weeks on end wasn’t doing her any good.  The singer had protested at first, even going so far as to throw a tantrum when he had carried her bodily downstairs.  On top of that, Amanda had tried to convince him that what he was doing was just plain cruel.  Finally, the actor had enough; sitting on the couch while holding the pissed, former freelancer in his lap as he leveled the well meaning journalist with a stern look.  “It may seem that way but she will have to learn how to deal with reality at some point.  Besides, isolating herself is the worst thing we can allow her to do.  If left alone, she will have only her own voice to keep her company.  Something I doubt is very good for her,” the star had bit out, very nearly on the edge of setting up the well meaning female with a hotel for a night.  Thankfully she had agreed and it didn’t come to that.

    Another hard decision came when Raven started to refuse food.  He had to pull on all of his acting talent and actually give her an ultimatum after three days of eating the minimum of food.  “Meagan... if you don’t eat three meals today I _will_ be taking you into a psych ward.  I know you can’t help how you feel but I can’t be responsible for you eating.  I can’t tie you down and force feed you nor can I give you twenty-four hour surveillance.  I know it seems mean but I _cannot_ put your safety at risk,” Johnny whispered, guilt tinging his voice as he held his head in his hands.  The midnight clad femme sitting to his right only flinched, the last vestige of her logical side agreeing with him.

    “I... know and I’m sorry for how unfair all of this has been on you.  Some days I’ve acted like nothing more than a child but...  It hurts to allow myself to think, to act normal.  Every part of me feels shattered Johnny,” the fraying woman whispered, tears rolling down her too thin cheeks as she gave him a gaze utterly full of guilt.  In an instant, the taller male was kneeling in front of her; a stricken expression on his stubble covered, tanned face.

    Rough hands took hers as he ignored the fact that Amanda was in the same room entirely.  “I’m not blaming you sweetie, nor am I trying to pawn you off on others!  I really and truly am concerned for your well-being,” the actor husked, his tone urgent; as if he was afraid she didn’t believe him.

    “I... I know Johnny.  You and Mandy have been so understanding while my world has fallen apart at the seams.  Maybe I _should_ see a therapist.  I mean, this behavior isn’t exactly what you would call normal,” Raven replied, her hazel gaze travelling to her childhood friend.  The curly haired reporter met her eyes steadily, looking just as worried as the star holding her.

    “We can set you up with an appointment tomorrow.  For now, let’s sit and have an actual talk about what’s going through that head of yours,” Depp urged, a thumb brushing the top of her right hand as he continued to look up at her from the floor.  The former artist only took a deep breath and shook her head slightly, licking her lips before she started talking.

    Manson paced the confines of his room on the tour bus, only stopping to punch through a mirror as he let out a low snarl.  To tell the truth, he wasn’t really on tour at the moment.  He just didn’t have the heart to wear the mask of his persona for his fans.  His heart hurt and he wanted nothing more than to go back to Raven, to make things right but the amount of misplaced rage he felt made that impossible.  If he went back now, he would only spew more poison that his beloved didn’t need to hear in her fragile state.  Shit he didn’t truly mean in the first place.  For the first time in his long career, he found himself honestly hating his stage persona.

It was a mask he had worn since childhood to help him deal with his emotions.  It wasn’t a surprise to anyone that he had a bit of a problem dealing with his emotions from a fairly young age.  His experience with a neighbor probably didn’t help that one little bit.  Reacting with rage was a lot easier than learning how to actually deal with any emotional pain he felt.  Such a habit was a hard one to get rid of and he found that fact catching up to him at last.  The only problem was, he still had no idea of how to deal with his feelings.  It certainly didn’t help that he had never felt anything like this before, not even when Melinda had left him.  It felt like someone had reached into his chest to tear his heart out and was actively squeezing the still beating organ in a clawed hand.  He felt hollowed out and raw, salt mixed with lemon poured over the screaming wounds. To put the ultimate cherry on top of his mountain of shit, he felt utterly sick in his soul.

    To put it bluntly, it wasn’t _just_ Raven that needed _him_.  It also worked the other way.  Leaving her was already hard on him.  Having a scenario happen that tugged at his memories as well as his protective instinct was almost tearing him apart.  He found himself wanting to tear apart the room, tear himself apart and curl up into fetal ball so he could finally just cry all at the same time.  Gritting his teeth, he swung open the door to holler for Jeordie; honesty grateful his ex hadn’t left him due to the recent upheaval.  Without his former guitarist, he would have surely gone mad.  After having been in a relationship with the rock star, the dreadlock wearing musician knew how he operated better than anyone.

    After her lengthy explanation, Raven found herself the center of some very unwanted attention.  To have two people staring at you after you had practically laid your soul bare for them to see was very disconcerting and her mind instantly went to wondering if they were angry with.  Even worse, what if they agreed with the awful things her mind persistently clung to about herself.  What if what she told them had convinced them that it really _was_ her fault she had lost her unborn child.  So she was extremely surprised when they both nearly hugged the life out of her.  “Oh Meagan, I know its hard for you to believe but losing the baby really wasn’t your fault.  I know you know that deep down there was no way your mental state had anything to do with the... incident,” rumbled a gentle baritone in her ear as Amanda cried softly.

    “He’s right Megs.  Hearing you talk like that hurts, especially when I know that you know better.  Somewhere, under all your emotions, you know that your feelings are born out of misplaced guilt,” the curly haired writer whispered, her thin body shaking slightly from the sheer amount of terror she felt for the other woman in her arms.

    Raven only sighed, swallowing thickly as tears slowly filled her hazel eyes.  The terrible thing was, she knew Amanda was right.  The rising musician prided herself on being fairly intelligent and logical.  That part of her was currently screaming from under the pile of guilt and self hatred she had filled herself with.  Although it agreed with her friends wholeheartedly, her habit of blaming herself was just far too ingrained.  She had been treated like she was at fault for everything while growing up, a fact that didn’t change in her previous relationships.  In fact, it had gotten much worse.  After being treated like that for nearly her entire life, her first reaction had quickly become to brace for anger.  It was a hard reaction to circumvent and just seemed to come naturally, with little warning.

    Sighing, the midnight clad femme slumped into their embrace.  As she inhaled Johnny’s scent, her heart cramped painfully in her chest.  The last thing Manson had said to her echoed in her mind, like all the countless times before; only adding to the stubborn self hatred she felt.  This was only complicated by the fact the singer had been her idol, a figure she had obsessed with and practically worshipped.  She had looked up to him as she had grown into a woman and she still did.  Just because she was engaged to him didn’t mean any of these feelings had gone away.  She still admired him, even looked up to him but she had also gotten to know him as a man and not the superstar everyone had seen.  Seeing that part of him had only made her love and respect him even more.  To have someone that held that high of a spot in her heart say such a thing to her had utterly broken her and had ultimately made her problem that much worse.

    As Manson finished speaking, he looked up to see Twiggy giving him a surprised but sympathetic look.  “Manny... you’ve never opened up like this.  I... I’m so honored you trust me so much,” the ex-guitarist murmured, drawing the rail thin male next to him into a tight hug.

    “Twigs, you were one of my first lovers and one that I cared for more than the others.  I know I didn’t show it much during our relationship but I did love you.  I also believe you helped me become a better person, even made it easier for me to be in a relationship in the first place.  I... I probably trust you more than I do the other band members,” the performer rasped, running a shaky hand through his ebony locks.

    “And you want my advice I’m guessing,” the effeminate man replied softly, wrapping a brown skinned arm around his former partner’s bare, tattooed shoulders.

    “Yeah, I... I need to learn how to control myself better.  The fact of the matter is, this tour isn’t what I need, Raven is.  I just can’t be near her because of what might come out of my mouth,” the super star confessed, weaving the fingers of both hands into his short cropped hair as he closed his mismatched eyes tightly.

    “I don’t know if I can help you with this one Mare.  It sounds more like a mental block  and I’m not a psychologist,” Jeordie replied, regret tinging his tone as he pulled the tough rocker into a hug; pressing a kiss to his forehead.

    “I was afraid of that,” Manson sighed before turning and burrowing his face into Jeordie’s chest.  Then he began to sob, disconcerting the former guitarist greatly.

    A few days later and Raven was acting about the same.  She ate and came downstairs but something seemed to have gone out of her, her once lively gaze flat and cold.  She went through the motions of talking and letting her pet out to go to the bathroom but it all seemed cursory.  While Johnny was no longer worried about her eating or isolating, he found himself even more worried by the hollow shell he saw walking around.  He had seen her like this before and had taken her to a concert in a desperate bid to get her mind off things.  This time, he found he had no real options available.  Davis had just finished up a tour and Manson wasn’t exactly an option.  The only other thing he could do was take her to set with him and that would raise all kinds of questions.

    Sighing as he scrubbed his face, Depp pursed his goateed lips as he watched his close friend fix her breakfast in a mechanical manner.  At this point, he was starting to not care just how many questions bringing her with him would cause.  The woman obviously needed a distraction from herself.  If she didn’t get one, she was very likely to lose herself to the blackness that was gradually overtaking her.  Still, taking her to a crowded set didn’t seem like such a good idea.  Releasing a frustrated sigh, the actor decided to take the zombie-like female with him.  There were a few people he was sure she would like to meet and he would honestly give anything to see the light back in her hazel eyes.  Consequences be damned.

    Suddenly Raven found herself stuffed into Johnny’s car, utterly bewildered about where he was taking her and why.  All she really knew was that, one moment she had been cleaning her dishes from breakfast and the next she found herself dragged out the door.  “Johnny, I really don’t feel like going anywhere,” she sighed, her heart feeling like a cement block in her chest as she apathetically watched the scenery pass by outside the car.

    “I know but you can’t just allow yourself to keep wasting away like this.  You need to get out and start experiencing life again.  I know its only been a short while but staying in the house all the time can’t be healthy,” the star reasoned, a strained expression on his handsome face as he reached over to take one of her hands in his.  As soon as he took hold of the small appendage, the broken artist turned to give him a look filled with soul-crushing depression and self-depreciation.

    It wasn’t for lack of trying on his and Amanda’s part.  In fact, the pair had been working in tandem to try to lift the rising singer’s spirits and opinion of herself.  Unfortunately, Manson’s unmeaning outburst had done much more damage than either of them had anticipated.  The infamous male’s words had cut her somewhere vital deep inside and she just wasn’t bouncing back like she should  If things kept going like this, Johnny would simply take her into his own home until she de-stressed.  He was already severely tempted to do so as it was, believing that her being in the environment where so much upheaval had happened was only perpetuating the problem.  The only thing that kept him from simply doing it was his very real fear of what her reaction to such an action would be.

    This entire situation was only complicated by just how strongly Raven felt for Marilyn and just how long she had felt this way.  She placed so much importance in the performer that she held his opinion in ridiculously high esteem.  A fact the goth rocker had known very well when he had said what he did.  “I know your heart is in the right place Johnny but I really don’t know how social I’m going to be.  I don’t even know where you’re taking me,” came a soft reply, breaking the thespian out of his dark thoughts.

    “Its a surprise dear.  I’m hoping it’ll put a smile back on that pretty face of yours,” the tanned star responded, looking at the female to his right out of the corner of his eyes.  His heart plummeted when she simply shrugged listlessly and resumed watching the peaceful scenery of California.

    “Sorry but I highly doubt anything is gonna do that at this point,” she whispered, her voice quiet and emotionless as her hand sat in his limply.  Depp only winced in response, lifting her hand to his lips to give the delicate appendage a kiss.

    It was all too soon when Raven found herself on a very busy movie set, watching actors bustle back and forth with their handlers in tow.  The director herself turned to the pair before breaking into a huge smile and spreading her arms wide open.  “Johnny!  I’m so glad you made it!  Is this the friend you were talking about?” she chirped as one of the many actors milling around behind her also started to approach.  The man following along like a lost puppy looked more and more familiar the closer he got and by the time he had gotten close enough, the young singer had snapped entirely from her stupor and had turned into a blushing pile of jello.  A fact that wasn’t lost on the man slightly in front of her and to her right.

    “Hey John!  Is she the one you told me so much about?” asked the newcomer as Depp gave the blushing femme hiding behind him a slight smirk.

    “Yeah she is.  Leo, I would like you to meet Raven,” the smug looking thespian purred, scooting the brick red musician to the front and introducing her to Leonardo Di Caprio.

    Soon the star was treated to a very welcome sight, Raven laughing and joking as if nothing bad had ever happened.  Everyone on set treated her nicely, making sure she was well fed and hydrated.  The director had even offered her a part as an extra, something the shy female turned down politely.  While she had always been interested in acting, she was just too introverted to be comfortable in front of a camera.  Hell, she was probably too introverted to even be a singer but she had little choice at this point.  Thankfully the actors milling around had plenty of helpful advice for getting over performance jitters.  She felt so comfortable in fact, that she very nearly forgot her fiance and the recent tragedy she had suffered.

    When it came time to take her home once more, Johnny found himself very reluctant.  Today had only proven his earlier theory about her being away from the house and he knew she would only take a nosedive if she was forced to return there.  So, with a nervous expression on his face, the actor approached her once his costume had been removed and offered her a rather strange proposition.  He was bracing himself for a long fight and was taken quite by surprise when the black clad artist agreed after a brief moment of thought.  Her only condition was that he get some clothes and her dog for her.  If she went back in the house, she would never leave again.

    Amanda groaned as she leaned back against the shorter couch on the left side of the longer couch, her green eyes shut as she took deep breaths to calm her roiling stomach.  This had been going on for a week after her wedding night with Ginger and she had a pretty good idea of what was going on.  The only thing that kept her from simply telling everyone was the simple fact that she had wanted to be sure, at first.  Now, her reasons were fairly obvious.  It would be cruel to tell her friend such news so soon after her loss.  Still, she wouldn’t have the luxury of hiding it for much longer and there was still the fact that she hadn’t told her husband.

    It wasn’t that she didn’t want to, she just hadn’t gotten the chance before Raven had her accident.  If she told him now, he would insist on turning around and coming back home; an action that wouldn’t be good for her long-time companion.  This was yet another thing that she couldn’t wait forever on, however.  She would have to tell him, sooner rather than later.  The brown haired journalist was broken out of her thoughts by Johnny coming into the house, alone.  Pale brow wrinkling in confusion and concern, the twenty-nine year old found herself remembering what the actor had said a few days earlier.  “Where’s Megs?” she asked, shooting to her feet in alarm.  She only relaxed when the older male gave her a reassuring smile.

    “Easy Mandy, she’s just fine.  Better than she has been in a while.  She’s... going to be staying with me for a while.  She and I both think the environment isn’t doing her any good.  Manson is all over the house, constantly reminding her of what happened.  I really believe some time away will help and she agrees.  She just... can’t come in the house.  There are too many memories in here.  She would be tempted to stay and I don’t think she can carry on like this for much longer,” he explained, staying in place as the protective female absorbed the information.

    After a few seconds of silence, she slowly nodded with a slightly uncomfortable expression on her pale face.  “I agree.  Let me pack her some clothes.  I’m sure there are some things she would rather me grab for her,” the writer offered with a wavering smile before she moved toward the staircase leading upstairs.  She only stopped when she felt a warm, gentle grip on her tiny wrist.  Turning her head, she saw Johnny giving her a concerned look.

    “You okay?” the handsome man whispered, something in his earnest expression causing the dam within her to break.  In one movement, she wrapped her arms around the taller man and began to cry.

    “I’m sorry, its just... I haven’t been alone in years.  Raven and I always go everywhere together.  On top of that, this place doesn’t really feel like home to me,” she confessed, clinging to a man she knew she had no right to cling to but she couldn’t help it.  Her husband was on tour and she was more afraid than she could ever remember being.  She needed someone to just hold her for a second and Johnny had always seemed so understanding with her best friend.  Thankfully the star gave her a tight hug, rubbing her back to help soothe her.

    “I would offer to let you stay too but someone needs to look after the house as well as the animals,” he whispered, feeling nothing but sympathy for the smaller woman.  She may have her quirks but her heart was always in the right place as far as Raven was concerned.

    “I know.  I’m going to be calling her often though,” Amanda replied, pulling away from the movie star’s arms to give him a small smile.  Then she headed upstairs to pack a bag for her friend.  She was completely taken off guard when she found that Kathy was missing.

    Manson laid in the arms of his ex-boyfriend, his naked face burrowed deep in the other male’s chest as he held a familiar, well-loved dog plush tightly against him.  Tears flowed down his cheeks freely as his shoulders shook violently.  “I should have fuckin’ been there when it happened.  I shoulda been the first one she saw when she woke up in the hospital.  Instead I was on tour.  Not only that but I fucking yelled at her, telling her exactly what she didn’t need to hear from me,” he growled, his hands curling into shaking fists as Jeordie gently pet his inky locks.

    “Shhh, you couldn’t have known that something like that would happen,” the former guitarist reasoned, his voice quiet and comforting as he assured the man in his arms for the hundredth time in only a few days.

    The distraught performer only shook his head slowly as a low moan of misery left him.  He knew Twiggy was right but he couldn’t help but cling onto the guilt he felt.  In some, sick way; he felt he deserved this raw, gnawing pain.  In fact, he found himself actively looking for ways to tear the still sore wound wide open.  What he felt now couldn’t possibly equate a portion of the agony he had caused Raven.  A woman who had become so much more than a girlfriend to him.  She had become his very universe, the reason why he even got up in the morning.  He even strove to take better care of himself and slow down on his drinking simply because he didn’t want her to worry.  She had made him want to be the man Dita had tried to force him to be all those years ago.  He honestly felt like he had betrayed her with what he said, especially given how she had idolized him before they had met.

    The only thing that drew him out of his spiraling pit of despair was a soft pair of lips covering his.  A large hand came up to cup his face as well, Jeordie releasing a soft sigh against his mouth.  “I’m proud of you Manny.  You may be beating yourself up but you have yet to turn back to your normal vices.  Despite how much pain you’re in, you have yet to turn to alcohol to ease it.  Instead, you came to someone you trusted; a huge step for you,” the dreadlock wearing musician whispered  just before a tongue licked his lips.  The shattered rocker released a soft sound that was half desperation, half hesitant.  Twiggy complied by deepening the kiss and slowly rolling the taller man onto his bare back.

    Then he was breaking the kiss to give his former boss a smoldering look.  Lust and sympathy mixed in his chocolate orbs as he fumbled with Manson’s skin tight, black jeans.  The normally domineering man only panted heavily, something almost innocent in his mismatched eyes.  “Please Jeo...,” he rasped, his hips lifting to allow the removal of his jeans and revealing he was entirely bare underneath.  His sizeable erection pulsed as a bead of milky pre dribbled down the veined shaft.  Just seeing it called to something primal within the normally submissive musician.

    “Don’t worry Mare, by the end of tonight you’ll be lucky to remember your own name,” the darker skinned man husked, bending down to nuzzle at the goth rocker’s needy member.  The performer only released a heavy moan before biting his lower lip and lowering his eyes submissively.

    Smirking slightly, Jeordie took the hard shaft into his mouth and began to suck; reveling in the small sounds Manson released.  Soon hands were tangling in his corded locks, tugging lightly when he increased speed.  “T-twigs, oh f-fuck,” the ‘Antichrist Superstar’ practically whimpered, his bony hips thrusting eagerly.  The former guitarist only smirked wider, reaching down to ply the singer’s pucker with two dextrous fingers.  As the tip of his index finger breached the tight ring, the rock star beneath him released a breathy keen of sheer need.

    “P-please,” the gasping male moaned, his legs spreading as his dark haired head tilted back and his heterochromic eyes slid shut.

    Jeordie only purred softly, releasing Manson’s weeping member to lick the fingers he had been teasing the singer with.  “Tell me what you want Manny.  I might give it to you,” he whispered, inwardly hoping this would get his former lover’s mind of his self hatred and misplaced guilt.

    “Ooooo, I-I want... oh shit Jeo.  I want you i-inside me,” whimpered the squirming performer, a light flush of embarrassment and need on his pale cheeks.  The musician only chuckled before removing his fingers to position his tip at his former boss’ tight pucker.  Then he was entering slowly, groaning deep in his throat at how tight Marilyn was.

    “Nnn fuck Mare, are you sure you’re okay?” he gasped out, only getting a heated moan in response as a pair of black nailed hands landed on the bronzed skin of his shoulders.

    This was the only encouragement he needed to lean forward so his forehead rested against the superstar’s as he began to take the taller man slowly.  The sounds Manson released in response, as well as the way his back arched, only drove him to move faster; his breath leaving in harsh pants as he felt the other man’s silky passage almost milking his shaft.  Then he began taking the singer hard and fast, hitting his prostate unerringly and causing the most delectable sounds to issue up from his chest.  With a low snarl, Twiggy began taking the rocker hard and fast; latching onto where his shoulder met his neck with his teeth.  All too soon the pair was cumming in unison, Manson calling out for Raven in a voice that made the former guitarist’s heart ache.

    Pulling out, Jeordie scooped the whimpering singer into his arms and began to pet his hair soothingly.  Marilyn only released a shuddering sigh before burrowing into the other man’s lightly muscled chest.  “Raven,” he sighed in a broken voice, tears slipping from his closed eyes as he slowly drifted into sleep.

    “I know Mare, I know,” the ex-musician sighed softly, pressing a kiss to his ex’s forehead as his brow crinkled in concern.  He had never seen the normally brash goth rocker so utterly broken before.  It was almost as if he had lost a part of himself by leaving Raven behind in her time of need.  All Jeordie could do was support his gaunt friend through this crisis and just pray to God that he pulled through alright.


	2. Magnetic Pull

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: ‘Sleep. Those little slices of death. How I loathe them.’ - Edgar Allan Poe
> 
> ‘Odds of Even’ (c) Marilyn Manson

Raven seemed to be doing better, for a while anyway.  For the first week living with Johnny, she had been happier than he had seen her.  She had been laughing, joking, even working on songs here and there for her upcoming album.  Then she had slowly, quietly started to fall apart.  She had tried to be happy when her friend Amanda had given the news of her pregnancy but all she could feel was the dark, yawning feeling of loneliness.  It wasn’t that she was alone either, all three of her friends doing what they could to make her feel loved as well as taken care of.  It was just that she still missed Manson despite all of the damage he had caused her with his ill placed words.

The singer had become a large part of her in a very short amount of time, the attraction she had to him as a teen not helping matters.  The fact that he felt just as strongly about her still blew her mind and she felt oddly hollow without him by her side.  She had been through this when he went on tours but this felt different.  This felt far too similar to when she had left him.  This felt like she had lost him, a feeling she knew was irrational but couldn’t help one bit.  She still felt extremely guilty for what had happened despite the fact that everyone else told her otherwise, even her own head.  It had gotten so bad that she had taken to putting a happy mask on her face just to please her friends.

Gritting her teeth, she stared at herself in the mirror as she forced herself to swallow the horrible, aching hollow located in the center of her chest.  She had to force herself to appear happy or her friends would start to worry for her.  This felt all too familiar and she found herself tired of it all.  She was tired of pretending, of feeling guilty for something she couldn’t help, of feeling like she was missing part of herself with Manson gone like this.  “You should be here Brian.  I just... I guess I expected you to hold me and tell me it couldn’t possibly be my fault not to...  Do you really think its my fault or were you in just as much pain as I am?  I wish you were here so I could ask,” sighed the ebony clad femme as she swept her inky hair into a ponytail.  Then she was going out into the living room, a smile that hurt her soul curling her lips.

Manson sighed, glaring at his make-up covered face while his band scampered back and forth to set up the stage.  After a long conversation, the performer had been convinced by Jeordie to do a few concerts here and there to distract himself.  There had been one condition, something John 5 hadn’t been happy about but had begrudgingly agreed to.  The former band member was once again playing with them, taking the other man’s place for a few songs here and there.  It had been before John’s time when Twiggy had played and he honestly found himself looking forward to working with his ex.  He had even come up with a new song for this concert, something that fit what he was feeling all too well.  “Manson?  Its time,” Ginger informed him from the doorway.  The thin male only nodded before closing his mismatched eyes and forcing his stage persona into place.  He would need it if he was going to get through the night.

Nearly a whole set later and the worn out rockstar found himself staring out over the fans that screamed his name.  He wondered if they would be nearly as supportive of him if they had known what he had done to his fiance.  Would they still be calling his name with such vigor if they knew he had blamed her own miscarriage.  So he closed his eyes and waited, waited for their cheers to die down.  He wanted them to hear the guilt in his voice, didn’t want to hear any worship from them.  Not during this song.  This song was a confession of sorts.  Thankfully, it didn’t take too long for an uneasy silence to fall over the crowd.  Then he was motioning over to the band, opening his eyes as music started to play.  “Stood in the face of grim death, screaming ‘Monsters, bring me to deafness!’” he whispered, pain apparent in his baritone as his heterochromic orbs scanned the mob.

“My dagger and swagger are useless in the face of the mirror when the mirror is made of my face,” growled the performer, fighting back the tears clogging his throat as he began to move slowly along the lip of the stage.  His rasped words seemed to resonate with some of the audience and a confused vibe began to fill the cavernous arena.

“This is the House of Death.  Even Angels die in the arms of demons,” he spat out in a bitter voice, his inflection full of self loathing.  Then he repeated the line even louder, stopping in place to close his eyes as a wave of sorrow washed over him.  No matter what he tried to distract himself, he was running out of places to run.  It wouldn’t be much longer before he returned to Raven out of sheer desperation to be near her.

“Hide your heart in your gut, but for what?” whispered the superstar, sounding gutted himself as he ground his teeth together.  He just had to get through this one song, then he could go and hide in the back room of his tour bus until Jeordie coaxed him to come out again.  Then start the cycle all over again.

“When they're waiting to pull you apart like a scarecrow on death row so now all of your secrets are shown,” he practically moaned into the mic, feeling his gut curdle as he felt an urge to vomit.  How could he hide when Raven was likely beating herself up for  _ his _ mistake.  He  _ needed _ to be sorting this shit out for himself, not on a stage singing for people who could care less about his personal life.

“This is the House of Death.  Even Angels die in the arms of demons,” he screamed, the poignant agony in his voice seeming to shock the people watching.  A low murmuring started but the distraught man found he simply couldn’t care at the moment.

“This is the House of Death.  Even Angels die in the arms of demons!” Manson repeated, well aware that the guitar playing was moving closer.

“No one is exempt from the odds of even,” he whispered, turning to address the unsettled audience.  Jeordie came to stand by his side, the musician’s presence not helping the inner turmoil he felt.

“No one is exempt from the odds of even,” the goth rocker repeated, the words sounding more like a statement than lyrics.  The other man to his left leaned closer but even that didn’t help.  Jeordie wasn’t who he needed.  Who he needed was miles away and hurting very deeply.

“No one is exempt from the odds of even,” he continued his eyes fluttering closed as his heart cramped with pain.  He deserved this, he had been a fool to think he deserved to be happy.

“No one is exempt from the odds of even,” came another repetition of the line, sounding like a sigh as he slipped to one knee.  He barely held onto the microphone as unconscious tears tracked mascara down his painted cheeks.  He shrugged off the hands on his shoulders as the guitar next to him stopped playing.  His eyes slowly opened once again to give a soul searing look to the audience.

“No one is exempt from the odds of even,” he uttered in a deadpan, assurance filled voice.  Then he was getting to his feet and running, heading straight for the tour bus.  The pain that filled his chest was enormous, clogging his throat with tears that he barely managed to choke back until he had shut himself safely in the back room.

“Raven,” he gasped out in a shaky voice, pulling out his phone to flip it open.  Tear filled eyes landed on the familiar number that he dared not call.

Letting out a cry tinged with frustration and anguish, Manson held the small object to his forehead as he slid to his knees on the carpeted floor.  Harsh, horrible sobs ripped free of his bony chest, his pale body rocking back and forth in an instinctual effort to soothe him.  “Oh babe, I can only imagine how bad you feel if this is how I’m doing.  I wish I could call you or just come back but...  I just... I’m not sure if I’m ready to be around you.  Just seeing you reminds me that I failed you but now you think otherwise.  You probably think I’m disgusted with you,” he growled in a broken whisper, his fingers hovering over the call icon.

Johnny and Amanda had decided to take her to the Zoo today, against all of Raven’s protests.  Even the curly haired journalist had been surprised but had ultimately gone along just to get the once artist get out of the house.  It had taken the easily recognizable actor coming out in giant shades and clothes he wouldn’t normally wear to convince the wary female to acquiesce.  When they had gotten there, the depressed singer had to admit it made her slightly better to see some of the animals.  Their first stop had been the tigers by the popular request of Amanda, the big cats coming up to the fence and seeming to take a great interest in them.

Things had only gotten better from there, getting to pet a giraffe, seeing wolves and their pups playing as if nothing bothered them and getting to hold a fox kit.  The little ball of fur had been utterly adorable, licking her cheek as well as snuggling into her chest.  When it came time to hand him back to his handler, both parties were reluctant.  The little pup even began to whimper and cry for her, confusing the Zoo worker while pulling at Raven’s heart strings.  “Gee, I’ve never seen lil Max take on so...,” the blonde whispered, trying to console the crying kit.  The black clad femme had to excuse herself before she took the small canine again and never gave him back.  Amanda was right behind her, Johnny lingering a little longer before joining the pair.  After a small break for the distraught woman to compose herself, the trio went off to see the lions.  It was there that things went terribly wrong.

As Raven watched a lion clean a lioness’s face, a familiar ringtone began to rise up from her pocket.  Her heart immediately dove into her stomach as nausea replaced any good feelings she had from earlier.  Looking up, she saw that her companions hadn’t heard it and she quietly snuck off to pull her phone out of her pocket.  Looking down at the small, red object, the rising performer licked her dry lips before flipping it open and pressing it to the cup of her ear.  “M-marilyn?  A-are you there,” she gasped out, that cold, sick feeling getting worse as her heart pounded against her breast.  This wasn’t helped when utter silence greeted her.

“Please, please I need to hear your voice.  To hear that you still love me.  To hear... that you don’t blame me for losing our child despite... despite not w-wanting...,” she begged, her vision tripling from tears as her heart clenched into a tight ball.  She couldn’t finish her sentence, not when just thinking it was painful enough.  A light, husky gasp came in response, making her hold her breath as she dared to hope.

“Raven,” came a barely there whisper, so quiet she could almost think she had imagined it.  Time stood still as she didn’t dare move, her heart drumming loudly in her ears as she waited for him to answer or just a confirmation that he was really there.

“I...,” began the same, quiet voice just as Johnny and Amanda began to call for her in the background.

“Oh fuck, not now,” moaned the desperate female as she swayed on her feet.  Just as she feared, the other end went dead; dropping her heart through the floor.  She was dimly aware of slipping to her knees as her heart shattered, Depp running up to ask what was wrong before she simply blacked out from the pain roaring through where her heart used to be.

He stared down at the phone in his hand, feeling an extreme urge to throw it against the wall but managing to rein that urge in.  While he would have done so without a thought in the past, the rocker was now making a concerted effort to control himself as much as possible.  There had been so much pain in her voice, all of it his fault.  But he had already known that.  Letting out a growl of frustration, Manson gripped his dark haired head in shaky hands.  Whether he was ready or not, he needed to go back  _ now _ .  He was done hiding from his pain while the woman he loved clearly needed his presence and reassurance.  He could only hope she forgave him.

Raven also stared down at her phone, unaware that she was a perfect mirror of her fiance as Johnny scooped her up into strong arms.  Every part of her had gone numb with the exception of the center of her chest.  That felt like something with very cruel claws had ripped something vital out of her, causing unaware tears to roll down her pallid cheeks.  Someone was pulling her phone out of loose fingers and she was dimly aware of a female voice calling someone a slew of nasty names.  “Enough Amanda.  You don’t even know what happened.  Even if he  _ did _ cuss her out, you know how your hatred towards him makes her react,” came an admonishing, stern baritone from above her as she cuddled into a lightly muscled chest.  The string of swearing stopped but an aura of anger and absolute disgust still permeated the air.

“Give me the phone now.  I want to see just how long this call lasted,” came a cold demand, a tone that shocked the distraught female slightly out of her stupor.  Even before she had known the thespian, she would have never expected him to have the capability to be so commanding.

There was a slight shifting as Amanda took the driver’s seat and then things were dipping as the taller male got into the backseat.  There was a faint light that Raven assumed was her phone but she really couldn’t bring herself to care.  Sighing, she nuzzled the actor’s clothed pecs as she closed her eyes and willed the pain to stop.  She just wanted the hollow, aching feeling to stop.  “Doesn’t look like it was that long.  Only a few seconds,” murmured the soothing voice of her friend, a warm pair of lips lightly landing on her forehead.

“What the fuck did he say in a few seconds to make her break so hard,” bit out her long time friend from the front as the car began to rock and move.

“Its what he didn’t say,” Raven replied in a quiet voice, barely loud enough for either of her companions to hear.

“What was that sweetie?” came a soft murmur, the lips on her forehead moving down to her right cheek.

“I... It was what he didn’t say,” she whispered again, only slightly louder.  The star holding her only held her, the facial hair on his upper lip tickling her sensitive flesh.

“And what was that?  None of us are going to get angry with either you or him,” he soothed in a gentle tone, his mouth moving ever closer to hers.

“That... that it wasn’t my fault,” she breathed in a tear clogged voice, breaking into sobs as she leaned into the famous man for comfort.

His smooth, oddly calming scent filled her nose and she found herself relaxing despite the open sore where her heart should be.  It was then he took her lips in a sweet, soft kiss, the action shocking her as much as it aroused her.  Guilt and need crashed into her like a torrent and she found herself barely hanging onto the fact that this was technically wrong.  She was engaged to Manson!  She should be pulling away from him and slapping his face for daring to take advantage of the situation.  Instead, she melted into the embrace; opening her mouth to give his          lips a tentative lick.  She was just so tired of feeling horrible and Johnny was helping distract her from her inner turmoil.  She wanted to feel loved and wanted, safe if just for a moment.

The star holding her froze, his hands twitching on her upper back as he fought with himself.  Then he was breaking the embrace, closing his eyes as he rested his forehead against hers.  “I’m sorry Raven, I shouldn’t have done that.  I have no right to kiss you or even hold you right now but...  I can’t just leave you to feel so much pain.  Not when I love you as much as I do.  That kiss should have never happened,” he whispered, his voice tinged with heartbreak and regret.  To both their shocks, the woman in his arms grabbed his face to drag him down into another liplock.  The handsome male went board stiff, every part of him desperately wanting to return her affection; especially since there was such a feeling poignant pain in the embrace.  Instead, he gently pushed her away; shaking his head and ignoring the stab of pain in his chest when she gave him an absolutely gutted glance.

“You don’t want me either...,” she whispered the heartbreak and sorrow in her voice very nearly shaking his resolve.  So, when she tried to get out of his lap to sit on her own, he tightened his hold on her.

“You know that’s not true.  You’re stressed and in pain, you can’t want to pursue anything sexual with me.  Not truly.  I know you far too well to think you could possibly want this, not when you know what it would do to Manson,” he reasoned, petting her ebony hair.  His heart ached for both her and himself as she nestled into his chest and began to cry again.

“I just... I just want to feel wanted, to feel anything but the persistent, gnawing guilt I carry around like a damp blanket.  I  _ know _ it wasn’t my fault but...  What if... what if Brian...,” whispered the rising singer before dissolving into loud sobs as she clung to the actor like a security blanket.

“Shhhh, he didn’t mean what he said.  He’s hurting too.  I’m fairly certain he feels his own amount of guilt for what happened.  Knowing his personality, he blames himself for not being with you when it happened; despite the fact that he couldn’t possibly have known anything like that would happen,” Depp replied, fighting the urge to give in and let her make this mistake.  He loved her deeply and the one night he had been allowed to give her oral hadn’t nearly been enough.  Yet, as much as he wanted all of her, he had to be the bigger person.  No matter how much it hurt him.

Thankfully they reached the actor’s house within the next few moments, Amanda seeming confused about whether she should stay or leave.  “I appreciate your help back there Mandy but... I think we need some time alone,” the goateed male declared as he got out of the back of his car, a still sobbing Raven held in a secure grip.  The curly haired female pursed her lips but nodded stiffly.  As much as she disagreed with his decree, she knew her presence would more than likely just stress her friend even more.  So, with a last glance at the former freelancer, the journalist got into her own car and left.  All she could hope was that Johnny would take care of the broken woman.

The star didn’t wait until she was gone, simply moving into his large house and shutting the door behind him.  Once inside, Raven was dragging him down into another kiss; making it very hard for the actor to continue to resist.  With great reluctance, Depp broke the kiss again to set her gently on her feet.  He wanted to continue this desperately but he just couldn’t.  Not only would he be taking advantage of a dear friend while she was in a vulnerable state, he would also be betraying another in the bargain.  “Please Raven, we can’t.  You know that darling,” he whispered, holding her in a tight hug as he rested his mustached lips on the crown of her head.

“I don’t care.   _ He _ isn’t here.   _ You _ are.  Please, it doesn’t have to mean anything.  I just... I just want to forget about everything, if only for a little while,” she whispered in a tear choked voice, wrapping her arms around his waist as she rested her cheek on the black material covering his pecs.

Her words struck something inside Johnny and he closed his eyes tightly as his hands came up to rest on her upper back.  “You’ll only feel guilty about this in the morning and you know that.  Believe me, it isn’t that I don’t want you.  I’ve never wanted someone so much in my whole life.  Because of that, I must act responsibly with you.  You aren’t in your right mind currently.  When you have time to calm down, you’ll come to see this behavior as shameful.  Not only that, but you could possibly come to hate me if I went along with it.  I don’t want you to be ashamed or hurt by something that would mean the world to me,” he tried to reason, doing his best to ignore the pain wrapping itself around his heart.  The distraught woman in his arms only shook her head before looking up at him.  The tears rimming her hazel eyes were very nearly his undoing but he managed a smile for her anyway.

Completely oblivious to Johnny’s inner turmoil, the ex-artist grabbed his face once again to draw him down into another kiss.  “Please Johnny.  I need this.  I need  _ you _ ,” she whispered, the slight huskiness in her voice making him groan just before she took his mouth again.

“I know this is wrong, I know it’ll only hurt all three of us but...  I just...,” then she was breaking down into sobs, trying to back out of his hold.

“No... you’re right.  This... this is...  I’m so sorry...,” she began, only to be shocked by the taller male giving her an almost ferocious kiss.  It was so violent that their teeth clicked together and her lip split but that didn’t stop the star’s fervor.

At first she froze, then she was melting as her eyes fluttered shut.  A warm feeling of happiness and lust began to rise within her.  Soon she even found herself returning the embrace, opening to him when he licked her lips.  Then he was in her mouth, tasting like a little slice of heaven as his tongue swirled around hers.  Within moments, much too soon for Raven’s liking, Depp was breaking the kiss to lock eyes with her.  “I love you Raven.  I would love nothing more than to make love to you.  Just not now, not like this.  But... there is something I can do that I don’t think Brian would have too many issues with,” he rumbled, his brown eyes nearly black from the desire he held for her.

Next thing she knew, the star was leading her upstairs and to his room.  This wouldn’t be the first time she had been in there either.  She had tried to sleep in her own room on her first night, against Johnny’s protests.  That had ended with  her waking the actor up with her screams due to a horrible nightmare she was having.  Depp had come running into her room, shaking her awake and holding her to him while she sobbed.  Then he had moved her to his room, where she had been staying ever since.  She had suggested moving back to her room but the celebrity simply wouldn’t hear of it, even going so far as to threaten to move her while she slept if she tried.

Chuckling at the memory, the ebony haired female entered the spacious room first; feeling the faintest thread of apprehension when her friend shut the door.  The click of the door hitting home had a strange finality to it and she knew it was far too late to think of stopping this now.  At this point, she wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to.  She was frankly tired of feeling like shit because she cared too much about the opinion of her fiance.  Yet, despite how much hurt and betrayal she felt, there was still a voice in her head telling her that this was no better than when Manson had cheated on her.  A thought she really didn’t need at the moment.

Suddenly she found herself enveloped in a pair of strong arms, the man holding her leaning down to give her a sweet, lingering kiss.  Then those lips were moving to her forehead before he was backing away, his arms dropping away from her as he gave her a gentle smile.  “I’m going to turn my back for you dear.  I want you to take off your pants as well as your underwear and get under the covers for me,” he requested, his deep voice much more gruff than she was used to.  Just the sound of it sent a shiver of need up her spine and she shuddered as a blush bloomed on her porcelain colored cheeks.

“Y-you d-don’t have to do that,” she whispered, shaking slightly as her old fear began to overtake her.  Stomping on it hard, she took a deep breath to steady herself before beginning to undo the black jeans she wore.

Johnny watched with keen eyes, his regard very nearly shaking her already unsteady resolve.  Doing her best to swallow her rising panic, Raven grit her teeth in determination; unbuttoning and unzipping her tight pants.  Then she was moving them slowly down her ample hips.  Her heart beat a fandango in her chest, making it hard to breathe but she managed to hold onto herself; at last freeing herself of the jeans.  Letting out a shaky breath, she avoided the actor’s intense gaze as her quivering hands moved to her lime green panties.  Closing her eyes and forcing her breathing to remain slow as her anxiety prickled at her brain, the shy woman slid off her underwear.  The silence that followed was deafening and she found herself completely lacking the ability to open her eyes again.

So, when Johnny touched her arms, she nearly jumped out of her skin as her hazel orbs flew open.  The expression of love and utter lust on his handsome face nearly made her collapse with relief, her fear and anxiety fading to a whisper in the back of her head.  “You’re absolutely gorgeous hun.  With or without clothes,” the star assured, hunger clear in his now ebony eyes.  Then he was kissing her again, urgency in his movements as he backed her slowly, carefully towards the bed.  When the backs of her bare legs hit the silk covered mattress, she broke the embrace with a blush before crawling onto it and laying on her back.  As she looked up at her friend and would-be lover, Raven nearly gasped at the intensity of the lust on his tanned visage.

Before she could say anything, he was crawling onto the bed to spread her legs and lay between them.  His facial hair covered mouth was bare inches from touching her curl dusted mound and his eyes glittered up at her.  “Do you want this?” he husked out, his tone making another shudder of want run through her.

“Yes Johnny,” she whispered, her heart thudding slightly when he gave her a grin.  Then his mouth was meeting her junction and she was moaning as her fingers wound in his shoulder length, midnight hair.

His talented tongue wrapped around her clit, suckling and making her moan as her hips tilted upward.  One of his hands came up to hold her down, allowing him to lap at her without interruption or interference.  On occasion the dextrous muscle would enter her and a deep growl would bubble forth from the actor, making Raven shudder as soft noise issued from her lips.  “G-god Johnny, aahhh,” she gasped, tipping her head back as she humped his face as best as she could with her hips pinned.  He only chuckled against her, licking at her greedily.  Then she was falling apart, her vision filled with supernovas as he continued to move his tongue along her slit.  When she pushed at him, he backed off to crawl up her shudder body to give her a smirk.

“Sleep now Raven.  You’ve had a very long day,” he whispered, moving a lock of her hair out of her face before he laid beside her.

The artist grinned before snuggling up to him.  Still, in the back of her mind, she knew she would feel an overwhelming amount of guilt for her actions.  She had cheated on her fiance and she would have to tell him, something she didn’t look forward to in the least.  As it was, she didn’t even know if he still loved her.  So, with a heavy sigh, Raven nuzzled into the actor’s chest and allowed herself to fall asleep.  Johnny only hummed softly, kissing her forehead as he kept watch over her as long as he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for delays. Real life hasn’t been kind. I will try to do better but updates may be sporadic for the time being.


	3. Like a Fine Acid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: ‘Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.’ - Edgar Allan Poe

    A phone can be both a blessing and a curse, depending on how you look at it.  It can open a line of communication with a loved one over great distance.  It can get you help when you desperately need it.  It can even offer you a way to get ahold of a sympathetic ear when you’re having a dark night.  On the other hand, it can also offer people you’re trying to hide from a way to get to you.  It can give the source of your guilt a direct line to the razor wire wrapping its way around your heart.  It can also offer temptation to just call the person and get everything out in the open.  This was the conundrum Raven currently found herself in.

    Staring down at the black device, she grinned in bitter amazement at the amount of power it held.  She knew she should call Manson after what had occurred between her and Johnny but she found herself utterly afraid to cross that threshold.  She had no idea how the rocker felt about her after the miscarriage.  She had no idea if he even still loved her enough to forgive her for this trespass.  She was engaged for fuck’s sake but she had gone through with it all any way.  Had even told Johnny she wanted it it.  The most terrible thing was, it hadn’t even felt like that large of a lie.

    She had never had the connection with the actor like she did the rockstar but that didn’t mean she hadn’t fantasized about him as she grew up.  She, like many women her age, had grown up with Depp and had formed various crushes on his myriad of characters.  Sighing, she pinched the bridge of her nose as she wondered at her ability to find herself in such messes.  The actor had tried to stop all of this but she had kept pressing until he gave in, she truly had no one to blame but herself.  Manson, of all people, deserved to know about what had happened.  Still, she hesitated to press the green phone icon by his name.  She was utterly unaware of Amanda doing the exact same thing in her fiance’s home.

    In fact, the curly haired journalist was about ready to rip her hair out from the mixture of emotions whirling within her.  She knew her time frame to let Ginger know without him feeling betrayal was rapidly closing and yet she just couldn’t bring herself to take that last step.  Things between Manson and Raven weren’t anywhere near resolved and she doubted her husband would want to stay away, even during the early stages of her pregnancy.  She was caught between a rock and a hard place.  Gritting her teeth, she knew she had little choice anymore.  So, taking a deep breath, Amanda pressed the contact button and placed her sky blue, Superman emblazoned phone against her ear.  “Hey Ging.  Before I tell you this, I want you to promise me something,” she began, her heart thudding loudly in her ears.

    Two dim figures embraced in the inky blackness of the room, a soft sigh leaving the taller, thinner silhouette.  Only a familiar, unexpected ringtone broke the comfortable silence, making one of them jolt upward.  A ghostly pale hand reached into the empty darkness, fumbling with the phone before it was flipped open and pressed eagerly to an ear.  “M-marilyn?  I... I did something awful,” whispered an unsteady voice from the other end, the words making the world seem to shrink away from him.  A million possibilities rushed through his head at once as he got to his feet, fear clogging his throat and making it impossible for him to speak.

    Suicide attempt was first on his mind and his throat worked hard as he fought with his locked vocal cords to get words out.  Jeordie was behind him in an instant, mouthing something he could only guess was a question about what was going on in the corner of his vision.  He only waved the guitarist off, licking his cracked lips as a sickening feeling of nausea began to fill his stomach.  “I... l-let Johnny give me oral sex after your call yesterday,” came a confession that filled him with relief at first, then her words really impacted him.  Drawing in a painful gasp, he swallowed hard before clearing his throat.

    “I... I see.  Do... do you... what does this mean for...,” he breathed, not having the strength in him to talk any louder.  While he was happy she was safe, he felt like he had been gutted with a hot harpy knife.  He wasn’t angry or disappointed, more afraid.  Afraid that he had finally driven her away for good with what he had said as well as his blatant neglect after.

    “What do you... do you... do you think I’d leave you for Johnny?  Are you... telling me that you actually... that we can fix this?” came a broken, hesitantly hopeful voice, the amount of begging submission in her tone turning his stomach.  His actions had made her think he was angry with her and he felt his heart lurch in his chest.

    “Oh sweetie.  You’re the one who should be angry with _me_.  I implied that this was your fault, made you feel like you needed to apologize to me.  Just hearing you try to shoulder this blame...  None of this has ever been your fault,” he whispered, closing his mismatched eyes as his former guitarist left the room to likely tell the others what was going on.  Silence followed his words, stretching for so long he almost feared the phone had lost connection.

    “Do you mean that?” came the brokenly hopeful whisper once again, driving that spike of guilt just a little deeper into his heart.

    “Of course I do.  I never meant what I said before I left.  In fact, it was the reason I left in the first place.  I just needed some time to make sure I didn’t do such a horrible thing again.  I’m also not mad about what happened with Johnny.  I would be the worst hypocrite if I was.  I’m just glad it happened with someone we both trust,” he assured softly, squeezing his eyes shut as his heart cramped.  After everything he had learned about his fiance, he could only imagine how distraught she had been to allow such a thing in the first place.

    “There was still no excuse for it.  I just feel like I’ve betrayed you.  I even moved in with him temporarily because of how hard it was to be in the house without you.  He’s just been so nice and protective through this whole ordeal. I don’t know how I’d have ever gotten through the worst of it without him but... he’s just not you,” whispered the too quiet voice, making him wish he could simply crawl through the line to hold her.

    “If you... if you ever left me... I don’t think I could go through that again.  I’ve grown dependent on your presence and I just...  I want you to come home,” the shattered artist whispered before breaking into soft sobs that practically tore his heart from his chest.

    “Shhh, shhh, I’m not going anywhere babe.  Not ever.  I feel just the same as you do.  We were on our way back as it was but I’ll have a talk with Tim and see if we can push things a little faster.  I obviously need to be home with you,” he declared, running a hand through his ebony locks as his fiance continued to cry.  Closing his eyes again, he ran a shaky, black nailed hand through his midnight hair as he took a deep breath and began to do the only thing he knew would help her calm down.

    “Remember when I took you up to the top of the hill?” he began to sing softly, feeling a bit of relief when her crying started to taper off to watery sniffles.

    “We had our knives drawn.  They were as sharp as we were in love,” he continued, imagining his band playing behind him as Raven quietly listened.

    “If God crossed us we'd take all his drugs, burn his money and his house down, and wait for the fire to spread,” he rasped, remembering the emotions that had caused this song in the first place.  This had been inspired during the dark times when she had left him due to his sleeping around and mistreatment of her.  He had written it as a pseudo love letter to her, one he never thought she would hear.

    “Sometimes hate is not enough to turn this all to ashes,” he crooned, smiling slightly when his lover began to join in.  Knowing her, she had bought a CD as soon as they had been released; despite the fact she could have just asked him for one.

“Together as one against all others.  Break all of your wings and make sure it crashes,” they sang as one, a sense of harmony thrumming between them and filling the rockstar with a warm sense of well-being.  Even after everything, this affirmed she felt as much for him as she always did.

    “We're running to the edge of the world.  Running, running away,” she whispered before he could, sounding as lost as he used to.

    “We're running to the edge of the world.  I don't know if the world will end today,” he responded, his heart aching.

    “I had no choice, I erased the debt of our family, let you say goodbye with lips like dynamite,” sighed his lover’s sweet voice, switching their roles.

    “And everyone turned their backs because they knew when we held on tight to each other, we were something fatal, that fell into the wrong hands,” she continued, sounding bitterly nostalgic but happy; a sound that eased the pain he felt just a bit.

    “Sometimes hate is not enough to turn this all to ashes,” he whispered back, practically feeling the song flow through him as he allowed his emotions to shine through.

    “Together as one against all others.  Break all of your wings and make sure it crashes,” they finished together, their voices twining and merging beautifully and filling them both with a much wanted sense of oneness.

    “We're running to the edge of the world.  Running, running away,” he moaned as the vehicle around him shuddered violently due to its speed increasing.  Jeordie must have told Tim to step on it, something he appreciated at the moment.

    “We're running to the edge of the world.  I don't know if the world will end today,” chimed in Raven, sounding much more relaxed as the song went on.

    “We don't seek death, we see destruction.  Death, we seek destruction,” the duo sighed as one, repeating the lines again before Manson continued.

    “We're running to the edge of the world.  Running, running away,” he rasped, Raven taking over for the next part of the chorus.  Then they were repeating the entire chorus again, the joining of their voices making them sound gorgeous.

    “See a new beginning rise behind the sun.  We can't never catch up to them as fast as we run,” Raven growled, sounding determined and making the singer grin.

    “See a new beginning rise behind the sun.  We can't never catch up to them as fast as we run,” he repeated softly, his own tone loving and gentle.  They alternated again for the next two repetitions, then the song was finished; leaving them in a comfortable silence.

    “I love you Raven, so damn much,” growled the shock rocker, gripping the phone to his ear in desperation to keep the line connecting them open.

    Out in the main room of the tour bus, Ginger had just gotten done with his _own_ phone call.  A doofy grin was plastered on his face but he couldn’t bring himself to care about how silly he looked as he put his phone back in his pants.  While he was glad to hear that Raven and Manson were talking again, he was even more ecstatic about his news.  The only thing that made him feel a little disappointed was that he hadn’t gotten to tell Tim to put the pedal to the metal himself.  “Guys, I’m going to be a father,” he announced, not even minding when Pogo tackled him into a crushing bear hug.  Not much of anything could ruin his mood at the moment.  He was going to be a father and they were heading home without him having to throw a massive fit.  All in all the drummer called that a massive success.

    Johnny stood by as Raven spoke to Brian, his expression of concern turning to one of relieved guilt.  He had known better than to engage her while she was in that state and he knew he was far from innocent.  He was just glad his actions hadn’t torn apart the two people he cared about most.  His only question was what did he do now?  Would either of them be comfortable with him staying around the female that sat on his bed?  Had he possibly ruined something that was incredibly important to him?  Just the possibility made him shudder as a sick feeling permeated the pit of his stomach.  Running a hand over his face, he found himself fighting the urge to either run away or scoop the former freelancer into his arms.

    As if she sensed his discomfort, the ebony haired femme turned her head to look at him; a soft smile on her milky white face as she motioned him to come closer.  Instant relief filled him and he practically melted into her as he wrapped himself around her, a tanned cheek resting on a midnight clad shoulder.  Then he was being handed the phone, Raven mouthing to him that everything would be okay.  Licking his mustached upper lip and feeling the facial hair prickle his tongue, Johnny pressed the object to his ear as he braced himself for the rage of his best friend.  “Hey Brian.  I have no excuse for my behavior but I didn’t do it with the intent to hurt you or try to steal Raven away from you.  If you decide you never want me to see her or be near her again, I will respect your wishes but I want you to know something before you do.  I... I need her just as much as you do, if just as a dear friend,” the star murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to said female’s forehead as he closed his eyes and awaited his fate.  He was completely shocked when all he heard was a hearty laugh.

    “You had every opportunity to fuck her and you stuck to oral.  If you had wanted to fuck with me, you would have gone all out.  You really think I’m mad that you exercised restraint as much as you could over a shit situation?  I know how much you care about her.  As much as it stings to admit, I’m glad you were there for her when I had my head stuck up my ass,” the rocker rasped, sounded a tad upset but not nearly as much as the actor had expected.

    “Who I’m _really_ pissed at is myself.  I caused all of this with my stupid unconscious reactions.  I should have never said what I did to her, I should have manned the fuck up and stayed with her no matter how badly I was hurting.  She would have never done something like this if I hadn’t pushed her to it in some way and I can’t really hold either of you accountable for a circumstance that should have never existed,” the God of Fuck replied, his baritone laced with guilt.

    “Brian, can we all just stop blaming eachother or ourselves?  None of us should feel guilty for any of this.  Let’s just put the whole mess behind us and move on.  I know its easier said than done but I think we should give it our best shot,” the goateed star suggested, relaxing as Raven nestled into his chest.

    “Yeah, hey can I talk to her again?  We’ll be there in a few days and I need to tell her that,” the other man asked.  Johnny simply murmured a quick sure before handing the phone off to her.

    Instead of letting her go, he wrapped his arms around her even tighter; knowing she wouldn’t handle the news very well.  She was at her limit of being without him after all the stress she had been under and she was likely to break under further strain.  Sure enough, she burst into tears as soon as the news was passed down; drawing a coo from the man holding her.  Then there was a beeping noise as Manson’s voice filled the large room.  “Johnny?  Ya got her man?” sighed his distressed friend, making his heart soar with happiness due to the amount of trust that was being shown to him.

    “Of course,” he rumbled, rocking the emotionally distraught woman gently.  Thankfully it wasn’t long before her soft sobs tapered off, much to the relief of the two men who cared about her.

    “It’ll only be a few more days.  You can either stay with Johnny or go back to our house until I come back, I won’t be mad about any decision you make.  I just want you to be safe,” whispered the goth rocker, an uncharacteristic gentleness in his tone that made Depp smile.  Despite everything, the temperamental male was slowly taking a turn for the better.  He was a lot more open and warm than he used to be.  He could only hope things would continue down this current route.

    “One more thing though.  If you end up doing some sort of sex act again, record it for me.  Maybe John-o has a few techniques I could steal,” rumbled the ‘Antichrist Superstar’s’ amused baritone, bursting into laughter when the pair began to sputter denials.

    In the end, Raven had decided to go back to Manson’s house; missing her best friend as well as her dog.  There was also the fact that Amanda had said there something she needed to tell her.  Johnny hadn’t seemed to mind, packing his own bag so he could stay with her.  With how much strain she had been under lately, he didn’t want to let her out of his sight for a while; something he had made sure to tell Brian before making any concrete plans.  Thankfully the singer had agreed wholeheartedly, the lack of any true jealousy throwing both he and the former artist off.  The normally angry celebrity only laughed at them before ending the call so they could pack and be on their way.

    Now she was sitting on the longer couch that sat close to the kitchen, petting Lily while her loyal pet whimpered at her from the floor.  Her mind was a whirl of emotions due to the news her childhood companion had nervously told her.  Outwardly, she had been overjoyed and hugged the obviously excited journalist.  Inside, her emotions were much more complicated.  She felt a strange mixture of happy, jealous, angry and a deep sadness.  Her traitorous hands had travelled to where her own child had been before the accident as she stared up at the ceiling until her fiance’s cat made that motion impossible.  Something she was extremely grateful for as her hands travelled over the grouchy feline’s fur.

    Johnny, who was in the kitchen, kept his eye on her.  He had been getting calls for the past few days, each one asking when he was going to return to set and he found himself reluctant to answer.  He just wasn’t sure it was wise to leave her alone, especially with the news she had been given.  Just thinking about it made him wince.  He could only imagine how Raven felt at the moment and his heart ached for the shy female.  Still, he couldn’t put it off for forever and he would have to go back or risk his longstanding career.  Sighing, he grabbed two plates of the spaghetti he had just made and brought it back to the living room.

    The oblivious female stared up at the flatscreen mounted on the wall, her hand fumbling with the remote before turning it on.  To her amusement, it just so happened to open on an episode of ‘Clone High’.  An episode that just so happened to guest star her fiance.  “Well that’s just plain ironic,” she giggled, reaching down to pet her whimpering dog despite Lily’s heavy protests.  A deep chuckle from her left drew her attention to a similarly amused Johnny who was offering her a plate of noodles topped with a tomato, meat sauce.

    “They were going to have me do a guest voice next season but the show got cancelled.  Too bad.  I found it really enjoyable,” the star chuffed, giving the cat on her lap a suspicious glance as he moved around the front of the couch to sit on her right.  The white felid hissed slightly before quieting, her triangular ears pointed backwards as she glared at the handsome male.

    “I know and they ended it on a cliffhanger to add insult to injury,” Raven responded once he had settled, keeping her hazel eyes on the screen.

Depp wisely gave Lily a wide berth, scooping up some sauce covered pasta and placing it in his goateed mouth.  Just as he began to chew it got to the scene where Manson was giving a fake medical diagnosis and he came very close to doing a spit take while Raven laughed, a sound that was far too rare in his opinion.  “Geez, it sounds like they just had him say the most medical sounding things they could come up with.  Also I agree.  I wish I knew what happened next,” he sighed sorrowfully, tugging at the hem of his black t-shirt slightly.  The female next to him shook her head with a slightly bitter smile, taking a bite of her own food while a certain cat dropped off to sleep in her lap.

    After the episode ended, the phone next to her right hand rang loudly; the default ringtone playing and throwing her off for a moment.  Picking up the small device, she looked at the contact before sagging in relief and flipping it open to answer it.  The star beside her could only listen, assuming it was her producers.  It turned out he was right, the up and coming musician smiling at him and giving him a nod as she talked over details of her first album.  Then she was getting up to move around, nervousness as well as excitement coloring her expression as her gestures and word grew more animated.  “W-well I don’t know, I’d have to ask but I don’t think he’d have a problem with the idea,” she whispered, stopping in place as she tried to slow her breathing.

    Then she was hanging up, staring at Johnny as if she was wondering if whatever happened had really occurred.  “They’re going to be releasing my Album.  They were okay with the name I picked and they want me to go on a double tour with Marilyn if he’s willing.  Well, it’ll be like more if his agent is willing,” she explained, looking a bit shell-shocked.  She was even more surprised when she found herself scooped up in a pair of strong arms.  Craning her head back, she saw the grinning face of Johnny Depp.  That was when everything slammed into her and her eyes went wide as true realization bolted through her like lightning.

    It really hadn’t been that long ago that she was just some freelance artist pining over the fact she would never get to meet a singer who had saved her life many times unknowingly.  Now she was engaged to him, living with him, friends with Johnny Depp as well as Jonathan Davis, and had even met Tom Welling as well as Leonardo Di Caprio.  She even found herself starting on the road to becoming a singer, something she had never dreamed of.  It was mind-blowing when she stopped to think about it.  On top of all of this, she was looking at a joint tour with her soon to be husband.  It was all so overwhelming.

    Sighing, she leaned into the star holding her; burrowing into his pecs as her thoughts sped to the future.  It was hard not to think about the paparazzi that would be following her, let alone fans.  Then there would be the added complication of Manson’s fans as well, something she had thought about more than once during the course of their relationship.  She wasn’t really looking forward to the spotlight being on her and the consequences that would come down because of it.  She had a few people that didn’t want to see her happy on her own end of things and she wasn’t in a hurry to have them find out where she had moved.  Not when she was starting to reach a kind of emotional normalcy.  “I’m not ready for any of this,” she sighed, looking up to give Johnny a smile before going on her way to put her dishes in the kitchen.

    The thespian followed close behind, words of comfort dying on his lips.  There was nothing he could say that he hadn’t already.  Still, maybe it would be a good thing that she would have something to focus on.  Maybe now would be a good time to bring up the very real possibility of returning to set.  “Raven, I have to go back to work again.  Would you be alright with that?” he whispered, his heart thudding as she went stiff before turning to look at him.  A painful smile stretched her mouth but there was determination in her stance.

    “It’s fine Johnny.  For the time I won’t be in the studio, I’ll have Amanda here.  I’ll be too busy preparing for a tour that I won’t have the time to notice neither you or Brian are around,” she assured before giving him a hug.  He could only return the embrace, pride for her filling him as he rested his chin on the crown of her head.

    “I’m only a call away, never forget that,” he murmured, giving her a light squeeze before releasing her to help with the dishes.

    Once Amanda got home, she held a determination of her own in her green eyes.  As soon as she saw Johnny and Raven on the couch, she began to grin in a manner that made the pair extremely nervous.  “We’re going to have a sleepover and we’re going to fucking camp out in the back yard!” she announced, cackling wildly when her friends stared at her like she had two heads.  An hour, slight disagreement, and quick shopping trip later; the two females were helping a rather bemused Johnny set up a tent in the backyard.

    “We haven’t done this since we were kids Mandy,” sighed a very confused Raven, feeling a bit excited despite herself.  It had been a long time since she had even thought of camping, let alone any kind of traditional sleep-over.  The last time she had a sleep-over had been just before she had left her parents.

    “Exactly!  We’re long overdue for some fun and bonding!  Also, Johnny never hangs out with me,” teased the slightly older female with a grin.  The casually dressed actor could only grin shamefully, rubbing the back of his dark haired head.

    “Sorry about that, I have no excuse really.  I guess this would be a good way to build a better relationship,” he conceded, looking a bit enthusiastic himself.

    Looking from one to the other, the former freelancer simply shrugged before pitching in to help; her dog happily bounding around the fenced in yard.  Soon they had the campsite set up, sans campfire due to their location deep within the city.  They would have had to apply for several permits and there was the fact that this was California, it probably wasn’t a good idea to have a fire here anyway.  Besides, it wasn’t as if the kitchen wasn’t right there and the stove was a gas affair rather than electric.  It wouldn’t be hard to make a few s’mores as well as hot dogs.  So, after they had set up sleeping bags and a battery operated space heater in case they needed it, they went back inside briefly to make refreshments and gather some entertainment.

    The trio laughed, joked and gently teased each other while they cooked; an atmosphere of happiness filling the mostly empty mansion.  Johnny even fixed drinks, flipping Manson’s metal mixer around like a seasoned barkeep.  When asked about where he had learned how to do that, he had simply winked to the two women and said, “Sorry, there are just some things I prefer to keep a mystery.”  This had earned him playful swats and soon things descended into chaos, the actor spraying them with the faucet hose to stave them off.  Of course this caused Amanda and Raven to retaliate; the pair grabbing pillows from the living room to huck at the giggling male.

    After a few minutes of this, a truce was called by the trio; all of them laughing like teenagers as they gathered their supplies and went back out into the yard.  Once out there, the goateed star poured drinks and handed one to Raven before offering Amanda a Sprite.  The journalist accepted the non-alcoholic beverage with a mock mournful sigh but maintained good humor as she watched the other two imbibe.  “Good thing I wasn’t much of a drinker,” she chuckled, sipping her soda as her friend laughed lightly at her joke.

    “So, you do realize this kid is gonna grow up warped as fuck.  What with Uncle Pogo around,” the ebony clad female teased, tipping her childhood companion a wink.

    “Let alone all the other ‘Uncles’ this kid’ll have.  Oh well, I don’t suppose it matters as long as every loves the baby,” she sighed, placing an unconscious hand on her still flat stomach.

    “Oh, don’t worry about that.  Kid will probably be the most spoiled person on the planet!” Raven assured before taking a bite out of her s’more.

    The rest of the night passed uneventfully, each of them passing a story of their childhood around.  One of Raven’s favorites had been about Johnny getting himself stuck in a tree as a kid while trying to get a cat down for a girl he had a crush on.  The entire fire department had been called to the tree, his mom in near hysteric despite his assurances he was unharmed.  It had been one of the most embarrassing moments of his life, all the neighbors coming out to watch as a fireman carried him down slung over a shoulder like a sack of meal.  After that, they had retired to the tent for the night; descending into an easy sleep as Depp snuggled up to Raven.  It was the best sleep any of them had in quite a long time.


	4. No Time to Relax

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: ‘Times have not become more violent. They have just become more televised.’ - Marilyn Manson
> 
> Guess who sprained her wrist~ It made it hard to write but I should be okay in a week or so.

The next few days passed quickly, Amanda and Johnny helping Raven tweak a few things with her new album.  All that was really left was to ask Manson if he would be willing to do a joint tour and hope his agent backed up his decision.  Though, she had a suspicion that if the rocker wanted to do a tour with her, nothing would stop him.  The journalist also seemed excited, having asked her office for permission to cover the tour.  Granted, it was all a clever ploy so she could spend time with her husband but no one needed to know that.  As it was, everyone had agreed Ginger would refuse to go if she didn’t; making her agency’s compliance even more convenient.

At the moment, Raven was performing a few of her songs acapella to gauge their opinion for what she should use in her set list; as limited as it would be with only fourteen songs on the CD and this being her first album.  So far the favorites were ‘Completely Fucked’, ‘Tears of Blood’, and ‘Killer Instinct’.  Still, that was only three and she would need one more to make it even.  The only problem was, there seemed to be a rather heated tie about what song it should be.  Amanda wanted it to be ‘Shadows Fall’ while Johnny wanted it to be ‘Bitter Medicine’.  Both, oddly enough, were about the pain she had felt when Manson had left her after her miscarriage.

The exasperated twenty-nine year old had just been about to suggest a coin toss when she heard the front door open.  Turning, she saw Ginger coming in first; prompting her childhood friend to rush forward and toss herself in his arms.  Due to not being ready for such an enthusiastic greeting, the drummer fell backwards into Pogo; causing the keyboardist to cackle as he wrapped his arms around the pair.  “You know Ging, if ya wanted a threesome all ya had to do was ask darling,” cooed the crazed musician, placing a kiss on the other man’s cheek with a loud ‘smack’.  This made Amanda burst into giggles as her husband pulled away with a disgusted noise, still holding her close as he glowered at his mohawked assailant.

Laughing his signature mad laughter, the bleach blonde troublemaker waltzed into the house.  He was closely followed by an exhausted, pissy looking John 5, a neutral looking Tim Skold, a relieved looking Twiggy Ramirez and a rather sheepish looking Marilyn Manson.  As soon as they locked eyes, time seemed to stop; Johnny coming up behind Raven to place a supportive hand on her left shoulder.  Licking her dry lips as her heart stuttered painfully in her chest, the former freelancer fought against the tears threatening to fill her hazel eyes.  One part of her ached to rush into his arms while the other art was still worried he was angry at her in some way.  “Go on sweetie,” whispered an assuring baritone in her ear as the actor behind her gave her a gentle shove.

Looking back at Depp, the nervous female found herself feeling similar to when she first met the singer.  Still, the reassuring expression on the thespian’s face gave her some needed encouragement and she spun to face her fiance.  He still stood where he had come in, a guilt ridden look on his painted visage as he waited for her next action.  Just seeing the forlorn light in her lover’s mismatched eyes was enough to break the shackles of anxiety and she was moving, her arms wrapping tightly around him as she burrowed her face into the rough material of the ebony shirt he wore.  When he wrapped his own arms around her in turn, her heart leapt in her throat and she began to sob happy tears.  “I’ve missed you so much Raven,” sighed his shaky baritone before she could even begin to apologize again.

“I’ve missed you too Mare.  I also have something to ask you,” she whispered, nervous for an entirely different reason.

Some time later, Raven found herself watching with amusement as her fiance reemed his agent to Hell and back.  From his reaction, the unfortunate man had said no and was receiving the consequences.  “And one more thing, you piece of shit!  If you  _ ever _ try to tell me my fiance is trying to use my career to launch hers again, I will find someone to kill you in the most painful manner possible,” he snarled before hanging up his phone.  He looked like he very much wanted to throw his phone but he held himself back, huffing slowly through his nose as his teeth ground together.

“Well, he isn’t entirely wrong,” Raven offered in a hesitant voice, flinching when the rocker whirled to face her.  This caused him to deflate immediately and he released a heavy breath as he ran a hand through his odd hair-do.

“I know but that doesn’t mean that’s your main reason for wanting this tour.  Your own agents are using it for something like this but I know you, personally, would never do something like that.  Hell the thought probably never crossed your mind.  You just want to go on tour with me, to sing with me,” he replied, putting his phone in his pocket before walking forward and wrapping an arm around her loosely.

The former artist only blushed heavily, shifting in place as she bit her lower lip.  “To be honest, doing something like this was a dream of mine for a while.  But I knew how hard it was to break into the music business so I just gave up that dream,” she whispered, hating how much of a fangirl she sounded like at that moment.

“Heh, with a voice like yours; it wouldn’t have been too hard.  As it is, I’m glad I get to go on your first tour with you.  It’ll be easier on both of us due to the fact these things can go on for months.  I don’t think either of us is ready for that long of a separation at the moment,” the normally tough male confessed, looking strangely vulnerable despite the number of people around them currently.

Giggling like a schoolgirl, the midnight clad femme rolled her hazel eyes before shaking her head in playful denial.  “My voice is only great if you like listening to a bag full of fighting cats.  Still, I’m glad you’re coming too.  It makes me feel a bit safer to know you’ll be there.  You’ll kick the ass of anybody who thinks they can get on the stage.  I also agree that being apart for so long wouldn’t be very good for either of us, not when we have a few things to sort out between us,” Raven agreed, wrapping her arms around him and nuzzling his bony chest.

“I just have one request,” she whispered into the ebony material covering his torso.  A warm chuckle was her answer, his own arms wrapping around her protectively.

“You only have to ask hun,” he whispered, one of his hands releasing her to tip her chin up so he could take her lips in a sweet kiss.

A few moments later, the stunned former freelancer found herself doing what most other people could only dream about.  She was practicing a few songs with Marilyn Manson, having decided to do a few duets for the show.  She had decided to go with his songs for all of them with the exception of the final one.  That one was going to be ‘Bitter Medicine’.  It would make a great finale but the subject was rather sensitive.  In fact, Raven found herself afraid to even ask him to rehearse it.  Still, they would have to go over it before the show.  All she could hope for was that he would understand why she wrote it.  So, when they had finished practicing ‘Last Day on Earth’, she simply handed him the lyric sheet and held her breath.

At first, the ‘Antichrist Superstar was reading with interest.  Then, ever so slowly, his pale brow crinkled as comprehension dawned in his mismatched orbs.  “You wrote this about your miscarriage,” he whispered as he locked eyes with her, a hairless brow quirked.

“Y-yeah, I wrote two.  They helped me focus on something other than the roaring agony filling me at the time.  Let alone how unsure I felt about how you felt about me,” the timid woman whispered, twisting the hem of her ebony shirt in her hands.  She only stopped when the singer’s hands closed over hers.  Looking up, she saw a gentle smile on his naked face and she felt herself relax.

“I do the same thing as you’re well aware.  It would be my honor to sing this with you.  After all, you’re singing a few songs that I wrote about you,” he purred, not looking the least bit perturbed.  This allowed Raven to relax enough to release a breath she hadn’t even realized she had been holding.  Then they began to sing, her heart soaring despite the somber lyrics.

The next few days passed in a blur, the group preparing for the tour in their own way.  Johnny, as loathe as he was to do it, had to stay behind and volunteered to take care of the house as well as the animals.  This left the question of what to do with Twiggy.  John 5 wasn’t about to give up his position in Manson’s band and the singer didn’t need two guitarists with the type of music he made.  Jeordie offered the same compromise as before, coming on for a few songs but leaving the majority for John 5 to play.  Everyone seemed okay with this idea with the exception of the tenured guitarist, who blanched quite vocally.  He only agreed when Pogo took him into a headlock and threatened to noogie his flaxen dyed hair.  That only left packing and getting the tour bus in order, the issue of Raven’s own band solved by her fiance’s.

All too soon Pogo, John 5 and Jeordie were loading the rented bus that Tim had driven there; Ginger being far too busy making sure Amanda wouldn’t lift anything.  Raven, who had already put the stuff she would need in the room Manson usually slept in, was looking up at Johnny; a strangely miserable feeling rising within her as they regarded one another.  This would be the first time she had been separated from the actor, a fact that shouldn’t have bothered her but did.  He had become a pillar of strength for her, someone to turn to when things were going wrong.  She could honestly admit she wouldn’t have gotten through half the shit she had if he hadn’t been there and the prospect of going through her first tour without him was an intimidating one.  “You’ll be back soon and I’ll be in contact over phone,” he murmured, his hands twitching by his sides as he fought with himself not to hug her.

Raven didn’t have such misgivings, rushing forward to envelop the thespian in a tight hug.  “I know but I’ll still miss you a lot Johnny.  Don’t get into too much trouble while we’re gone?” she teased, her verdant eyes filling with tears as she looked up at the man holding her.  Depp merely smiled despite the strained expression on his face.

“Can’t make any promises dear.  I’ve always wanted to throw a wild party here,” he returned just as playfully, looking up at Manson for permission before kissing her forehead.

“Just make sure to pick up the panties when you’re done,” Manson retorted, a strange glimmer in his eyes as Johnny released his fiance.

Before anyone knew what was happening, the goth rocker was rushing forward; tipping a stunned Johnny Depp backward.  With an absolutely devious smirk, the ‘God of Fuck’ planted a sensual french kiss on the other man’s lips; finding the brush of facial hair oddly pleasant against his smooth skin.  Just as he was about to pull back, he felt the movie star begin to react; a tongue tentatively joining his in its erotic dance.  Blinking, he was about to break the embrace when he saw the way Raven was watching them.

Unbeknownst to herself, the former artist was standing there with her mouth gaping open.  A heated blush colored her normally milky cheeks and she was dimly aware of a slight tingling buzz moving beneath her skin.  The more heated the kiss got, the more intense the buzz became; becoming more like a vibration that centered in her nether region.  Then Johnny and Manson had seemed to notice her regard almost simultaneously, causing them to respond to eachother with even more fervor.  When the actor released a heavy moan, she thought she would faint right there; finding herself steadied by a dress wearing Twiggy.  “Mmmmm, Raven got to sample the goods so its only fair I get the same privilege,” breathed the bony performer, his whitish blue and brown eyes fixed on her as he slowly licked his lips with a deep rumble of satisfaction.

“Heh, it is only fair.  Given her reaction, I don’t think she would be too opposed to the two of us mussing the sheets some time,” purred Depp, backing up as the taller man pulled him upright again; Manson nipping under his chin firmly.

“If you’ll allow me to join, I’m certain we can blow a fuse or three,” teased the dreadlocked musician behind her, his warm breath hitting her ear as he pressed himself against her.

Raven could only make what ended up being an adorable squeaking noise, her porcelain flesh going a deep crimson.  In all honesty, none of them would have been surprised if steam came pouring out of her ears.  “I don’t see why not.  It certainly doesn’t seem like she minds the idea,” cooed Manson in reply, letting go of Depp to stroll over in a leisurely manner.  His bony hips rolled in a sensual manner, only stoking the fire burning happily inside her lower belly.  Then he was reaching forward as he got closer, taking her burning face into gentle hands before pressing a loving, passionate kiss to her lips.  Before she could respond the rocker was breaking the embrace to give the man behind her a devious look.

Amanda chuckled from her vantage point, leaning into Ginger as he wrapped a loose arm around her thin waist.  His hand rested on her still flat tummy and a light purr bubbled up from somewhere in his chest as he nuzzled behind her ear.  “It’s good to see Manson is trying his best to make things up to Megs, er, Raven.  Sorry, I really do try to keep her prefered name in mind but years of knowing her by her birthname are hard to overcome,” sighed the journalist, a light blush on her own cheeks as she leaned into her husband.  Husband, it was still strange to think of the drummer like that but here she was.  Even though she had loved Tom in her own way, she didn’t regret the choice she had made.  At least this way there would be no awkwardness between her and Ginger.

“I don’t think she really minds that much.  She knows you’re trying.  Also, I agree about Manson.  He’s been getting better the more time he spends around her, more able to control himself,” sighed a slightly husky voice by her cheek as the bleach blond nuzzled her neck.

Giggling, the journalist leaned her head to the side to give him easier access; arousal beginning to rush through her in low, languid waves.  If it hadn’t been for the fact that they had to leave soon, she would have taken him up on what he was blatantly offering.  As it was, she had to be the responsible one and start leading the party into the tour bus.  With any luck, the rest would follow in line.  As for Raven, Manson and Twiggy, well they would join when they were ready.  So, with a small smile, the curly haired femme grabbed Ginger’s hand to lead him to the vehicle.  Thankfully, the others soon followed with the exception of the occupied trio.

Manson, who had seen all of this, only smiled wider before leaning over his flustered fiance to kiss his former guitarist.  Jeordie simply moaned, inwardly amused at the vocalizations the female sandwiched between them was making.  Then they were separating, leaving the stunned woman to sway in place as she stared with unfocused eyes.  Johnny hummed in amusement as he stepped forward to join them.  “I’ll miss you my darling girl,” he breathed, taking the still shell-shocked artist into his arms to place a kiss of his own on her forehead.

“But you’ll have something to look forward to when you get back,” he continued in a throaty husk, just quiet enough so only she could hear.  Then he was looking up at the singer, guilt and protectiveness on his goateed face before he began to lead her out to the bus.  Twiggy and Marilyn weren’t far behind, sharing a conspiring smirk as they joined the others.  Soon there were hugs all around, the group saying a fond farewell to a bemused Johnny before piling into the bus.

As the group got situated, Tim took his normal position at the wheel; revving the engine of the large vehicle to life.  This tour bus was even larger than the ones Manson normally used, having two rooms in the back instead of one.  After a brief scuffle and a coin toss, Ginger and Amanda won the rights to the second room; much to the consternation of the others.  Then they were all sitting on the various couches and chairs, settling in as the bus lurched forward.  Within a few days, they would be at their first venue; a prospect that scared Raven as much as it excited her.  This wouldn’t be her first time singing in front of a crowd but it would be the first time she had done so as an actual singer.  To be honest, she would be surprised if anyone showed up to this.  If they did, it would probably be to see Manson and not her.

“Let’s get this tour started off right!” declared Pogo loudly, breaking the brief silence as he hopped to his booted feet and swaggered to the ‘bar’ on the right side of the bus.  Shaking her head with a small smile, Raven looked up at Manson with playful exasperation.  The singer only shrugged slightly, pulling her close to him so he could nuzzle her nose with his.

“We don’t have to join in if you don’t want to.  I know I can get a bit belligerent when I’m drunk,” the rockstar offered, shocking the entire group into silence with his words.

Even the woman ensconced in his hold was stunned, looking up at him with wide, hazel eyes.  It was almost as if she didn’t know how to handle what he was saying.  “Mare, you don’t always get like that...,” she started, only to be interrupted by a sharp shake of his head.

“You know damn well that I do.  Every single time,” he snarled, his eyes closed as a pained expression passed over his visage.  Raven could only nibble her lip, finding it hard to argue after everything she had seen.  Still, she found it hard to blame all of it on alcohol.  The alcohol had just lowered his inhibitions enough to allow him to let loose.  Maybe in a more relaxed setting, he would be less prone to violence and yelling.

“I think those were just bad circumstances sweetie.  I’m sure in a calm, happy setting that you’ll be less prone to acting out while drunk,” the former freelancer assured, earning a strange look from her childhood friend.

Manson also gave her an odd look before shaking his head slowly.  “I don’t know if I’m willing to take that risk so soon after being reunited with you.  Lord only knows what I would end up saying or doing,” he confessed, his soft baritone holding a scared tone as he ran a shaky hand through his short cropped hair.  That was when she reached up to cup his face, forcing him to turn to face her as she looked up at him with love filled eyes.  Despite everything that had happened between them only weeks ago, she felt nothing but trust for him.  He was honestly doing his best to be better and she had long forgiven his unmeaning words.

“I trust you hun.  Let’s have a little fun together,” she purred, taking the glass of green apple Pucker Pogo handed to her.

“You go ahead.  I’m content with watching for now,” he persisted, giving her a smile as she downed the slightly sour beverage.

The powerful aftertaste made her shudder but she didn’t hesitate to hold out her glass for another, determined to get good and drunk before the night was over.  It had been far too long since she had let loose and really partied, the last time being when she had turned twenty-one.  Her famous fiance only watched, his guilty expression gradually melting into amusement the more drinks she had.  Soon she was singing loudly and badly with a just as drunk Madonna Wayne Gacy.  To make it even more hilarious, they were singing an old ‘Spice Girls’ song called ‘If You Wanna be My Lover’.  Manson observed from his position on the couch, a mixture of mortification and amusement on his pale face as they reached the end of the painful song in unison.  Clapping slightly, the singer got up to wrap his arms around her and lead her back to the couch.

Swaying on her feet, a swaying Raven only giggled at his attempt; leaning into him heavily and nearly knocking him over.  “Woah, careful there,” he murmured, barely able to keep them both upright as he struggled with her to go to the couch.  His frustration only seemed to further her enthusiasm and she laughed harder as she tried to tug him to the bar.  “C’moooon Manny-poo, I want ya t’hava drink,” she slurred, stumbling slightly and nearly falling backwards.  Having had quite enough of this, he scooped his inebriated fiance into his arms and carried her into the room they would be sharing for the coming months on the road.

“No dear.  I think I’ll stay sober,” he purred, more entertained than anything as she clung to him and gazed at him with bleary eyes.  Her cheeks were flushed a pretty pink and her inky hair hung in her face.

Gazing down at her moist, plump lips, he felt a cramp of love and lust for this woman.  So, with a sound of humor huffing up from his chest, he took her mouth in a gentle kiss as he shut them in the room.  Then he was laying her on the bed, placing Kathy on her belly as he came up to lie down beside her.  As he watched, she snuggled the droopy plush and made happy noises as she rolled from side to side.  He had never seen her so unguarded before and it was kinda nice.  “Ooooo, she’s soooo soft,” the former artist cooed before opening her eyes and looking at him, the unguarded affection in her eyes nearly taking his breath away.

Giving him a smile that would melt anyone’s heart, she rolled on her side and wrapped her arms around him; nestling into his chest like a kitten and making a contented noise.  Smiling even wider, he wrapped his own arm around her to pet her back.  “I love you more than I could possibly express,” came a heavy slur from his breastbone, making his heart soar.

“I know babe.  Try to get some sleep.  I’ll be right here,” he rumbled, petting her back as she stilled and her breathing deepened.

Soon the alcohol had lulled her into a deep sleep and he found himself in a position he had never found himself in before.  He was allowed to watch her as she slept, nowhere near tired enough to sleep himself.  Also, he really felt no need to leave her and join in whatever was going on in the tour bus.  Right now, all he wanted to do was spend some much needed quiet time with the woman he loved with all of his heart.  So, with a sound of affection, he kissed her slightly parted lips before enveloping her with his body.  To tell the truth, he wasn’t looking forward to showing Raven what the true face of fame looked like.

She would have stalkers, the paparazzi would hound her more than they ever did, she would have to deal with both his crazy fans as well as her own.  To top all of that off, she was just so damn naive.  She had an innocence that had yet to be touched by the corrupt underbelly of the real world.  She could be easily used and lied to simply because she had a bit of a trusting nature.  Just thinking about it made his skin prickle with rage and he ground his teeth together as he took a few deep breaths to calm himself.  After everything she had already gone through with her family and exs, he would be damned if he let anyone else harm her; even if that someone was him.  Kissing the top of her forehead to reassure himself she was safe, he began to sing ‘Coma White’ in an effort to chase away the bad atmosphere for the both of them.

All too soon, Raven was watching as her first venue came into view, a quiet whimper of anxiety leaking from her as she saw how many cars were in the parking lot.  Manson was behind her in a split second, wrapping his arms around her as he kissed the back of her neck.  “You’ll do fine,” he assured, his silky baritone doing horrible things to her insides and making her momentarily forget her nerves.  Leaning back into the taller performer, the nervous femme let out a shaky breath as she closed her expressive eyes.

“There are so many people out there,” she whispered, her voice small and meek as she allowed her fiance to pull her fully into his protective embrace.

“Heh, it is a lot for a first concert; gotta give ya that one!  It just means you’ll get to blow more people away with your music,” Pogo chimed in from her right, making her turn her head to look at him.  The keyboardist’s smile was kind while still holding its usual mischievous glimmer and he placed a hand on her right shoulder.

“Also you don’t really have to worry about anyone trying to get at you.  If they get past Manson, they have to deal with all of us,” John 5 offered, a strange grin on his make-up coated face that frankly frightened her.  Tim, who was standing to his left, gave a simple nod; his expression just as grim.

“Yeah, I may not look like it but I can bash a few heads if I need to,” came the voice of Ginger, Amanda glued to his side.

“The same goes for me as well,” Twiggy growled from her left, placing his own hand on that shoulder as he looked down at her.

“Guys....,” she whispered, a small smile on her face as her eyes filled with tears.  Then she was clearing her throat and squaring her shoulders, her jaw setting in determination before she went into the back room to get ready.  When she came out again, she almost looked like a different person.

Obviously taking a few leaves from a few female artists as well as her own fiance, Raven had chosen a black leather corset.  Each strap that decorated the front of the apparel was edged in dark crimson.  She wore torn, fishnet nylons and platform boots on her legs.  A black, lace edged skirt graced her hips and black arm warmers adorned her lower arms.  Her face was painted a ghostly white, her eyes edged in black and red eyeshadow.  The same shades also colored her lips and her ebony hair was swept up into a messy ponytail to finish off the look.  “Let’s get out there and do this,” she hissed, new energy in her verdant eyes.

All of that deflated as soon as the bus descended into cat-calls and whistles of approval at her new look.  It was only Manson, who had been in another bathroom, coming up behind her that restored her earlier confidence.  “Don’t allow them to fluster you.  More than them will be doing the same when you’re out on stage.  You have to let all of it fall away and just feel the music,” advised a throaty husk in her ear before a soft kiss landed on her cheek.  Then the superstar was shooing his band out of the van, leaving Raven with her longtime friend Amanda.

“Come on Megs.  I know you can do this,” the journalist assured, holding out a hand for the slightly younger woman.  The up and coming singer gave a small grin before taking a deep breath and putting her hand in her companion’s.  Whatever happened out there, she had more than enough back-up to be able to handle it.


	5. Start Things off With a 'Bang'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: ‘That's what they all say "Fuck you", well it ain't gonna save you. It don't scare me none and it don't suddenly make you a fucking hero.’ Otis B. Driftwood (Devil’s Rejects)

Tim, John 5 and Pogo were busy setting up the stage with the roadies while Raven paced in the room they had provided to touch up make-up.  Manson, Ginger, Jeordie and Amanda could only watch; amused expressions on their faces.  “God, there are so many people out there.  But I can do this.  I’ve sang in front of bigger crowds!” she whispered to herself, stopping in place to close her eyes and take a deep breath through her nose.  The ‘Antichrist Superstar’ chuckled as he slowly got to his feet, coming up behind the nervous female to wrap his arms around her.

“That’s the spirit,” he rumbled, knowing damn well what his voice did to this woman.  Sure enough, she melted into him with a sigh; doing wonders for his ego.

A knock came from the door, interrupting the moment and making the nervous woman jolt slightly before she was telling the person to come in.  It turned out to be the trio that had set things up, Pogo leaning against the doorframe as he grinned at them.  “Time to get this train rolling!” the mohawked musician announced, charging forward to grab Ginger in a headlock.  Amanda, who had been standing to his right, only pinched the bridge of her nose as she watched the pair roll across the floor.

“Please try not to hurt him,” she sighed, sounding playfully exasperated as the duo flung fake punches at eachother.

Manson only rolled his eyes, leading his fiance out of the room and toward the stage.  “Remember the setlist hun.  We’re going to open with ‘Completely Fucked’ just to give them a taste of what you can do.  Let’s go out there and knock them out,” whispered the seasoned performer as he motioned for her to go out before him.  Peering out to the stage, she licked her lips when she saw the hundreds of people out there.  Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes briefly, squared her shoulders and went out onto there like she owned the place.  Grabbing the mic off the stand, she ignored the heart drumming behind her ribcage as she gave a glare worthy of her fiance and idol.

“Alright people, let’s get things started off with one of my favorites!” she snarled, John 5 wailing on the guitar before she began to belt out her opener.

Her form was utterly perfect, moving back and forth along the platform while she gestured with her hands.  Soon the audience was swept up in the performance, cheering at the right moments and even singing along once they learned the chorus.  Adrenaline dumped into her veins as she put her all into the song, remembering all to well the bitterness that had driven her pen when she had written the lyrics.  She had written this song in Highschool, bitter with society and its unfair expectations.  A lot of that hate had been pointed at religion, just how blind she felt the followers were.  Then she was finishing, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath.  The crowd below her burst into cheers of approval, some of the more offendable people walking out.

For just a moment, she felt guilt for causing them to leave but that was replaced by determination.  After all, Manson himself had been protested and even outright banned without warning.  If she ended up going down the same route because of her music, she would consider it a compliment.  “If ya liked that, then you’re going to love my next number.  Just a little something I call ‘Killer Instinct’!” she announced before launching into her next number.  This one was a bit more somber but no less hard hitting than her previous one, her bitter lyrics resonating with a lot of the audience.  She was so focused on her performance, that she was unaware of the effect she was having on her lover.

The superstar’s focus was solely on her, his nostrils flared as he restrained himself from joining her out there and giving those bastards out there a  _ real _ show.  She looked fully in charge, full of an anger and hate he had never seen.  He had never been more turned on in his life.  By the time the song ended, he had a hard-on that was quite noticeable under the g-string he wore.  Something everyone around him had noticed but didn’t dare comment on.  In fact, Amanda only rolled her eyes before returning her focus to the show.

Oblivious to the goings on backstage, Raven finished her song; waiting for the applause to die down as her eyes moved over the mob.  There was a general sense of delighted surprise and she felt herself smirk as she raised her mic to her lips.  “That’s only the beginning of what I have in store for you tonight!  As I’m sure most of you are aware, I brought a very special guest with me!  In fact, that’s his band you’re hearing behind me.  Allow me to introduce my fiance and a man we all know and love, Marilyn fucking Manson ,” she announced into the mic, almost reveling in the shocked noises she had gotten in response to her announcement.  Apparently not as many people had take their engagement all that seriously when it was covered by the paparazzi.

Manson, who had been completely focused on just what he wanted to do to the woman out there, blinked when he heard his cue.  Swearing softly, he ran onto the stage; turning to catch a mic from a roadie on his way out.  The he was heading to where Raven stood, his heterochromic gaze fixed on his lover as he rapidly closed the distance.  She looked utterly gorgeous and he found himself giving her an utterly possessive kiss as a low growl escaped him.  To his surprise and delight, she responded in kind; releasing a snarl of her own.  Her hand went up to his ebony hair and tugged hard, calling to all kinds of dark instincts that always lurked dangerously close to the surface.

Breaking the kiss, the master of the stage turned to address the crowd; spreading his arms wide when they broke into loud cheers for him.  “Are you shits ready for a party or what?” he snarled before motioning his band to start off with ‘Beautiful People.’  As soon as the pulsing beat began, he was pacing around the stage; dragging a grinning Raven with him.  Then he was spinning her in his arms, leaning her back as he began to sing one of his old staples.  She played along beautifully, allowing him to move her and position her how he wanted and giving the appropriate reactions to the lyrics.  By the time the song finished, the audience had been whipped into a frenzy; demanding more and even calling for them to kiss again.

Not one to disappoint, Manson planted another aggressive kiss on his woman; inwardly enjoying the fact that she responded just as heatedly.  He had never seen this side to her and he had to say he enjoyed it immensely.  Her aggression very nearly matched that of his stage persona and he lost himself more to that part of him.  When they finally broke, he noticed she was giving him  a rather predatory look of her own before shifting her focus to the nearly packed concert hall.  “For this next number, I thought we’d do a little duet for you.  A little song Marilyn likes to call ‘We’re Running to the Edge of the World,’” she announced, Jeordie and John 5 quickly changing places behind them.

Soon the pair descended into a back and forth performance, one of them singing a line so the other could react with the next one.  During the chorus, they ended up singing together; their voices merging wonderfully and filling the building with a sense of awe.  The entire audience could feel the emotions that drove the number, some even bringing out lighters to wave in unison to the tune.  When they finished they shared a sweet kiss before turning as one to talk to the rapt people below them.  “Let’s shake things up with something a bit harder hitting, what do you say babe,” hissed the more seasoned performer, his singing persona entirely in charge as he smirked at her.

“Whatever you have in mind can’t be as hard hitting as my next number,” she quipped, smirking right back before backing away from him.  After a violent motion from her, the band launched into ‘Tears of Blood’.

Manson could only watch as she spat out the bitter, hateful lyrics, all aimed at the various people that had hurt her during her life.  Some were also pointed at him and his behavior but he could only find himself wanting to grab hold of her and make sure everyone knew just who she belonged to.  She was driving him wild, the way she seemed to be chastising him as she backed away.  He found himself following after her aggressively, something in her posture setting off his more dominant side.  All at once he wanted to put her in her place, show her just who was boss.  Then the song was ending, leaving him feeling a bit off balance and more than just a little wanting.

As if she knew this, Raven lowered her eyelids and gave him a look that practically dared him to do something about it.  Huffing out a low growl, he enveloped her in his arms before giving a curt signal to the band.  Once again, Twiggy and John switched before starting up ‘Wight Spider’.  As he sang the oddly romantic tune, he nipped the base of her neck roughly before shoving his leather covered crotch into her rear.  Not breaking song but huffing slightly, Manson wrapped his arms around her front to rest his hands on her lower stomach.  When she moaned in an all too real manner and leaned back into him, it took every ounce of his restraint not to take her here and now.  Fully aware of where they were, he gritted his teeth as the song finally wound to an end; outright snarling when she pulled away from him.  It was almost as if she was trying to push him beyond his limits of control and it was working far too well.

As she watched him struggle with himself, she would be lying if she said she wasn’t turned on.  She knew he could be rough and possessive just from what she had seen of him on stage and somewhat in bed.  She found herself wanting to bring this side out of him, some part of her practically starving to see it despite how frightening it could be.  His temper was just as much a part of him as everything else and she wanted to experience the rough along with the sweet.  So she quirked a brow and told him it was his move with body language alone.  She wasn’t surprised when he gestured to the band and started the next song, launching into ‘Odds of Even’ and joined in without missing a beat.

A song obviously written about their first separation, the pair pulled it off in style and aplomb; each playing their part flawlessly.  Raven played the hurt female while Manson played the domineering but just as injured man.  This made the women in the audience go nuts, screams of approval filling the air every time they leaned toward eachother.  As the number neared its end, the goth rocker pulled her against him and stared down at her as he finished the last lines.  With an absolutely devious expression, the normally shy woman reach forward and cupped his erection; making him jolt slightly from sheer shock.

Hissing as she pulled away, he narrowed his eyes as she started to turn to address the crowd.  Tired of all the games, he grabbed her wrist and yanked her back into him; his chest heaving as his mismatched orbs blazed down at her.  “Our last number will be one of Raven’s songs.  A little thing she likes to call ‘Bitter Medicine’,” he rasped, huffing slightly as Jeordie and John switched yet again; the dreadlocked male playing the final song of the set.

“You were my everything, you made me want to be strong.  You told me I was beautiful and made me feel like I mattered,” she began in a sigh, her eyes closed as she leaned into him.

“But the greatest crime of all was when you held me in the night and told me that you loved me.  I think that was the cruelest sting of all,” she finished before the music dropped and the song got going.  Manson released her so she could storm away from him, whirling to face him to cue him for his response.

“You dared to come into my life and make me believe I was worth something.  Holding me in the dark and chasing my fears away,” he murmured, his baritone soft with emotion despite the heat in his gaze.

“You built up all of my confidence, only to tear all of the hard work down,” he continued, slowly closing the distance as he slightly bowed his head.

“Oooooh, you're my bitter medicine. Ooooh, but I can't wait to take a dose of you again,” sighed the woman in front of him, her voice doing terrible things to his lower body as he got ever closer.

“You are both the best and worst thing that's ever happened to me but I just can't let you go.  I've become addicted to your acrid taste and I need just a little more,” the pair belted out in unison, the ‘Antichrist Superstar’ pulling her against his body before whipping her around to face the crowd.

“Ooooh, you're my bitter medicine. Ooooh, but I can't wait to take a dose of you again,” Raven sighed as he nipped her neck and ground against her, one of his large hands coming up to cup her right breast.

“Rot everything inside me but I don't care even though I should.  Utterly held captive by your sour hold and I don't care if I disappear into the dark,” they cried out together, his hand moving down to her ribs to be joined by the other one.

“Why did you make me need you if you're going to only break me more.  Can't you see just how much you encompass every single part of me?” whispered the freelancer turned singer, her voice tinged with pain.  As she sang, she leaned her hips back into the man behind her; drawing a ragged hiss from the rocker’s black lips.

“You have overtaken my soul and even more but you seem not notice.  You have claimed me without even having to ask but you only shove me away,” came Manson’s guttural response, his breath hot against her neck as his own hips rose up to meet hers.  The way he was acting told her she was playing with fire but she couldn’t seem to stop herself.

“Pain inside you calls for me and all I want to do is help,” she sighed in a pained voice, reaching up to blindly dance her fingers across his pale visage.  He leaned into her touch, releasing a noise that both chilled her blood and exhilarated her more.

“May bite me in the end but I just don't care.  I will keep hoping for you because you have entirely consumed my soul,” she continued, eeping quietly when he gave the scruff of her neck a sharp bite.

“Oooooh, you're my bitter medicine. Ooooh, but I can't wait to take a dose of you again,” he rasped, his voice unsteady as his index fingers twitched just below her breasts.

“You are both the best and worst thing that's ever happened to me but I just can't let you go.  I've become addicted to your acrid taste and I need just a little more,” she whispered, sounding as if it broke her just to be near him despite the heavy lust currently singing through her veins.

“Oooooh, you're my bitter medicine. Ooooh, but I can't wait to take a dose of you again,” husked the superstar, one of his hands moving down to hover over her crotch as he ground himself against her.

“Rot everything inside me but I don't care even though I should.  Utterly held captive by your sour hold and I don't care if I disappear into the dark,” they sang in unison, his chin resting on her left shoulder as he breathed heavily.

“Bitter medicine,” the performer intoned.

“Ooooooh my lovely medicine,” Raven finished, beginning to sway as the song wound down.

“Bitter medicine,” Manson repeated, his voice a raspy growl that set her lower body on fire.

“Ooooooh you course through my veins,” the ex- artist belted out, sounding like she was singing with her entire heart and soul.

“Bitter medicine,” husked the man behind her, almost making her forget just where she was when he gripped her womanhood through her skirt.

“Ooooooh, how I wish I could give you up,” she gasped, not sounding the least bit sorry as he fingered her through the layers of clothing.

“Bitter medicine,” the rocker belted out, extending the last word as his index finger covertly slide across her clothed slit.

“Ooooooh, I can't get enough,” the ebony haired femme howled, before they both descended into whispers of the song name, eventually fading into one, lingering moan of ‘bitter medicine’.

As soon as they were done, the huge mob burst into raucous cheers; bringing the pair back to reality with a crash.  Panting heavily, they parted from eachother; Manson much more reluctantly than Raven.  To be honest, it hurt to have her out of his arms but he reluctantly allowed her to have this moment.  She had more than earned the applause and he would have more than enough time to show his  _ own _ appreciation once they were backstage.  To be honest, he was shocked she had allowed behavior that would have normally mortified her.  Not too long ago, something like that would have been a huge wedge between them but this time felt different.  Whatever had changed, he hoped to see more of it.  “Thank you guys for a wonderful night!  If you want a copy of my CD, they’re for sale on your way out,” she announced before turning toward him again, moving forward slowly with a look on her face that heated his blood even further.

Once she was close enough, she was reaching up to tug him into a heated kiss; moaning into his mouth the same time her tongue slide inside.  It was both an invitation and a clear provocation, so when she moved to pull away before he could respond it snapped the final thread of his control.  With an utterly feral sound, he grabbed her hard and yanked her back against him as his tongue responded to hers.  When she immediately submitted, it only fueled his onslaught and he downright snarled as he slowly broke the kiss.  Giving her swollen lips a slow lick, he simply turned and headed to the backstage; not taking his eyes off her for a second.  If anyone dared to take her away from him at the moment, he would fucking tear their heads off.

Thankfully for everyone else, Twiggy was able to sense his mood and fielded Amanda from rushing to hug her dearest friend.  When she gave him a furious look, he merely smiled in a disarming manner.  “You can always congratulate her later.  If you take a close look at Manny, you’ll see its not the best idea to approach them at the moment,” he pointed out , smiling when she took a closer look.  Pogo, on the other hand, wasn’t as easily controlled.  Ginger did his best to stop the keyboardist from going near the pair but it was all in vain.

The troublemaker seemed determined to do just that, make trouble, and nothing short of a natural disaster would stop him from achieving his goal.  Raven, who saw him approaching out of the corner of her eye, could only watch events unfold in slow motion.  She would have moved to stop him if it wasn’t for the fact that Manson wasn’t about to allow any amount of distance between them at the moment.  There was also the little fact that if she approached another male at this point, this singer was bound to explode in epic proportions.  So when he noticed Pogo himself, the performer instinctually pushed her behind his back..  Thankfully the keyboardist had a little sense and tackled the rockstar first, ignoring the snarl that ripped out of the taller man’s bony chest.  Then the mohawked musician was cupping his crotch and everything froze.  “Soooo, is that a boner in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” the blonde purred, giggling as his boss’ eyes dilated with rage.

Ginger, Jeordie and John 5 groaned in unison, moving off-stage to motion Raven to join them.  Eyeing the situation, the former artist decided to do so while she could.  With how things looked, nothing was going to stop this confrontation and all she could do was get out of the way.  So she skittered for the side area at a fast walk, not turning around when she heard the inevitable fight broke out.  “Should we wait or go back to the bus?” Ginger sighed, not seeming the least bit bothered by what was happening just a few feet from them.  Her audience, however, seemed to love it; cheering loudly every now and again.

“ _ We _ certainly should.  Raven should stay right here,” Jeordie replied, flinching when Amanda disagreed rather vehemently.

“Are you nuts?” she screeched, making everyone flinch.  Blushing slightly, the journalist cleared her throat as she shuffled in place.

“I mean, just leaving her unprotected...,” the curly haired femme continued, scuffing the floor with the toe of her tennis shoe.

“I know it sounds strange but he’s strung extremely tight right now.  Also, I doubt anyone is dumb enough to try to come after her with how he’s acting right now,” the former guitarist reasoned, making a good point.

“He’s right Mandy.  I kinda tweaked his nose a bit out there and its best if we’re given some space.  I’m not helpless however.  I used to play soccer quite a lot and still have a fair amount of leg strength if you get my meaning,” Raven assured her friend with a cruel grin.  The uncomfortable expressions on the men’s faces as they subconsciously shielded their crotches was enough to make both of the women burst into laughter.

Shaking their heads in unison, the quartet simply left; leaving Amanda to say her goodbyes to her close companion.  “Try not to get too loud tonight.  Our room is right by yours,” the journalist teased, giving her a quick hug before hurrying off to join the others.  Just in time too, Pogo skidding on the floor to stop at Raven’s booted feet.  Despite the two black eyes, split lip and bloody nose, the insane man was grinning like a loon.

“Nice weather tonight!” he remarked, giving her a bloody grin.  Raven only gave a sigh as she pinched her nose, aware of the fact that Manson was closing distance fast.

“You better get outta here before he fucking kills you,” she advised, giggling when he pouted and got to his feet.  Then he was giving her a sound kiss before running away with an insane cackle.

The only thing that saved him was Manson’s extremely strong instinct to make sure Raven was okay.  With murder in his mismatched eyes, he took her into a tight hug before looking her over.  Pursing his black painted lips, he bent to give the already stunned female a deep, dominating kiss; one that was full of teeth and aggressive tongue.  This went on for endless moments before he broke it with a low snarl that shook something deep within her.  “Mine,” he rumbled, running a hand over her head slowly as his blueish white and brown eyes gazed down at her almost expectantly.

“Yours,” she breathed, nipping under his chin in an attempt to placate him.  Thankfully it worked like a charm, the ‘Antichrist Superstar’ practically melting into her.

“Forever,” he sighed, his baritone slightly unsteady as he pulled back just enough to look her in the eyes again.

“Yes,” sighed the compliant woman, leaning forward to continue nipping under his chin to calm him more.  The rocker shuddered hard, huffing through his mouth before he was simply scooping her into his naked, tattoo covered arms.

The next thing she knew, she was being carried through the bus and straight to their room; inwardly amused when she saw no sign of Pogo.  Then she was being placed gently on the bed and all other thoughts left her head as the underfed man began to fumble with the buckles on the front of her decorated corset.  Sucking in her tummy to allow the material more give, she was inwardly amused at just how fast he opened the fasteners.  Granted, he had plenty of experience with this particular article of clothing.  These thoughts were soon cut off when he sat her up to remove it from her torso.  When he saw she was bare underneath, he let out a low sound of approval.

Eager hands moved to her skirt and panties, huffing slightly when he saw the fishnet.  Those would take a bit more time to extract her from and he wasn’t particularly pleased with this fact.  Raven, on the other hand, was barely holding back laughter at the expression on his face.  He almost looked like a child denied his favorite candy and it was all she could do to keep a hold of those traitorous giggles.  Giving him a smile instead, she took off her skirt herself; taking the troublesome nylons with it.  All that was left on her were her lime green panties.  Those she left on simply because she got the feeling Manson wanted the privilege of removing them himself.

Her instinct proved to be spot on, the look he gave her in return full of affection as well as lust.  Then he was removing her underwear, loosing another of those primal sounds as he took her in.  Despite all of the times they had sex and even the time with Johnny, Raven still had a strong urge to hide herself.  Some part of her even felt an echo of that old fear but it was nowhere near as strong as it had been.  All she needed was to see the absolutely starved glimmer in his eyes to know those fears were off base.  His eyes still locked on her, the superstar began to remove his own clothes.

Her own gaze locked on his underweight form, slight worry mixing with the lust she felt for him.  Before she could dwell on it too long, he was prowling over her to give her a heated kiss.  While she was distracted by his mouth his hands tied a piece of dark cloth over her eyes.  Startled at first when her vision was cut off, Raven soon found herself panting as she realized what was going on.  A low purr came from somewhere above her, the heat from Manson’s body moving slowly down her own.  Then he was hovering over her junction, allowing his breath to fan over the sensitive folds and drive her crazy.  “Mmmmm Mare,” she whispered, squirming slightly as her anticipation and need grew.  The singer chuckled just before the heat of his mouth was meeting her and her world was lost in pleasure.

She could feel every lave and stroke of his tongue moving lazily over her, exploring every fold, wrinkle and crevice of her womanhood.  It was all she could do to not be swept away by the sensations, deep moans leaving her as he slowly intensified his ministrations.  The flat of his tongue swiped languidly over her clit before delving into her quivering passage, drawing a heated cry of his name from her lips as her hips rose to meet him.  Just before she would have exploded, he was stopping; leaving her very hot and oh so wanting.

Desperate pleas for him poured from her, only to be stopped by his mouth on hers as he positioned his tip at her needy entrance.  She was faintly aware of the taste of her juices on his tongue, then he was hilting in her and she was crying out as her head tilted back.  Hands blindly rose to fumble at his upper back.  Grunting, Manson began to move hard and fast; his heavy moans joining hers as his hips snapped against her.  His mouth rested at her neck as she felt every part of him like nothing she had before, her toes curling as her legs wrapped around him.  “Mine!” he snarled against her racing pulse, moaning in an almost painful manner as he nudged against her cervix.

“Y-yours!  O-oh fuck Marilyn!” Raven screamed, red stars appearing behind the blindfold she wore as she orgasmed harder than she had in her life.  She was dimly aware of him kissing her neck as he emptied into her before she lost consciousness.


	6. Band Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: ‘I hate everything about you. Why do I love you?’ - Three Days Grace
> 
> Had a few moments where I thought of just stopping this trilogy. But its too far to stop now!

When Raven woke up, she remembered everything she had done the other day and flushed hotly as mortification began to fill her.  The man spooning her inhaled deeply, the arm he had around her waist tightening slightly; as if he could sense her distress.  This made her smile slightly as she snuggled back into him.  While she wondered just what had come over her, she didn’t regret what had happened.  The little show they had given her audience would be a great way to get the word out about her.  So, rolling over to face her still sleeping fiance, the former freelancer nuzzled into his bony chest before closing her eyes and going back to sleep.

A loud knock came from the door what seemed like only a short time later, drawing a low growl from the rocker holding her as his hold became protective.  “We’re stopping for some lunch!  If you want anything to eat, you need to get your asses up and dressed,” came Pogo’s voice before Manson was tossing one of his boots at the door.  When the piece of apparel hit the hard wood, the keyboardist on the other side only cackled before running away.

“One of these days I’m going to kill him,” the temperamental man hissed, rubbing his naked face before painfully sitting up.  As he moved, every bone in his lanky body cracked loudly and he groaned as he stretched.

“We both know you won’t do that, this band is like a family to you.  Besides, I think you kinda like the trouble Gacy seems to cause,” she pointed out, sitting up to find herself completely naked.  For just a few seconds, that old fear and shame washed over her but she shook it off with a determined expression.  She had no reason to be ashamed of her appearance, that fact having been thoroughly proven to her.

So, getting to her own feet, she went to her duffel; digging through the bag until she found acceptable clothing.  The outfit she chose was a black ‘Marilyn Manson’ t-shirt and a matching pair of jeans.  Once that was on, she put on her platform boots and went over to the mirror on her fiance’s side of the room.  While he was putting on his make-up, Raven simply put her ebony hair into a messy ponytail.  As his eyes landed on her attire in the mirror, he let out a sound that told her he approved of her choice.  In a swift motion, he pulled her in front of him; nipping her neck in a possessive manner.  “Yeah, you’re right.  It almost feels like a comfortable routine to have to beat his ass every once in a while.  Still, if he ever kisses you again I’ll have his balls to decorate my rearview mirror,” Manson breathed, his hands settling on her lower belly.

This action caused a deep sorrow as well as some unknown longing to crash over her in a hard cramp.  All of a sudden she felt herself crying silent tears as she leaned her head back into the singer.  His masculine scent filled her nose as he made soothing noises, soft kisses moving up from her neck to her cheek as his hands lifted her shirt to rest on the naked skin of her lower stomach; where their child had once been.  No words were needed for the pair as his callused hands slowly moved over her skin, his lips landing on her tears.  “Come on, let’s get some food in you,” he urged, sliding his hands over her stomach to place them on her waist and steer her in front of him.

As soon as they left the room, Raven found herself swooped on by Jeordie and Amanda.  “You did great Megs!” the journalist gushed, tugging her into a tight hug as the former guitarist joined in.  The celebrity behind her only chuckled as he rolled his mismatched eyes, making his way around the small bottleneck.

“Did you have any doubt that she would be anything but amazing?  She’ll have to beat off her fan boys with a stick,” Pogo observed from a chair near the bar the rocker had headed to.  Manson, who had been filling a glass with water, tightened his grip at that ‘innocent’ statement and accidentally broke the stout glass; cutting his hand in the process.

“Marilyn!” Raven gasped, swaying as her squeamishness fought with her need to help her loved one.  Ultimately her stomach won and she had to make a run for the bathroom.  The singer was about to follow when he was stopped by an amused Amanda.

“You’ll wanna stop the bleeding and clean up before you go in,” she advised with a grin, gesturing to the blood on the floor as well.  The performer blinked in confusion at first, then realization dawned on his make-up coated face.

Thankfully, Ginger was the resident ‘nurse’ and doctored his hand with ease; John 5 cleaning the carpet with a grimace.  That was when the sound of vomiting came from the bathroom and Manson was tearing himself away from his drummer just as the last bit of gauze had been secured.  Then he was charging to the bathroom, having horrible flashbacks to the first time they had officially met.  By the time he got in there she was finishing up and washing her mouth out.  “Ugh,” sighed the shaky female a bit breathlessly, reaching for a toothbrush as Manson came into the room to take her into his arms.  Taken off guard, she gasped a bit before she saw who it was in the mirror.

The fear in his eyes was what got her, his lips landing on her neck as his uninjured hand wrapped around her stomach lightly.  “Are you alright?  Do you still want something to eat?” he asked gently, his lips never leaving her skin for more than a second.

“Marilyn...,” she began, smiling slightly to try to reassure him.  She only stopped when he gave her neck a light nip.

“Call me Brian for the moment please?” he asked in a hoarse whisper, his voice still unsteady as the bus came to a stop.

Stunned by the strange request, she nodded before giving him a few nips under the chin. “I’m fine Brian.  In fact I am still very hungry despite the mishap.  It happens when I see blood sometimes,” she sighed with a small grimace.

“Hmmm, I think you told me that at some point.  I just want to be sure you’re okay.  I don’t know how well I’d handle it if you even so much as got a case of the sniffles at the moment,” he replied, his voice slightly unsteady and vulnerable as he simply held her.  The miscarriage still had him shaken up as he had never really gotten the chance to mourn or accept the fact that she was fine.

Knowing he needed this at the moment, the former artist stayed silent as he cuddled her tightly; the tension in his body gradually fading as his hold loosened.  “Let’s get you something to eat,” he murmured, leading her ahead of him with a hand behind her back.  Looking back at him, she got the sense this was far from over.  She could see the fact he was struggling with his emotions and he was bound to pop at the wrong person if he didn’t find some outlet.  Pondering on what she could do to improve the situation, Raven exited the bus and looked up to see they had pulled up at an Arby’s.

Manson and everyone else waited for her, the singer subtly placing himself between her and everyone else.  Sighing and finding herself grateful she didn’t have any fans yet, she walked towards him.  If anyone asked for her autograph, she was pretty certain he would rip off their head and skull fuck them.  As it was, she would probably lay off tweaking his stage persona any further until they had this problem resolved.  She would just be grateful if they could leave the poor fast food joint without causing a huge mess for the employees.  The look on Pogo’s face made any hope of that go flying out the window and she followed at as great a distance from them as the goth rocker allowed, dimly wondering if she could get away with pretending she didn’t know them.

Ordering and getting their food had gone well, the midnight clad femme suspecting that had a lot to do with the little talk her fiance had with the keyboardist off to the side.  She had only heard bits and pieces as she waited in line but she had heard enough to get the gist of the conversation.  When they had sat down to eat, while ignoring the stares of the patrons around them, things exploded.  Raven could see it as it started to happen, reading a certain body language in Madonna Wayne Gacy as he took a bite of his own sandwich.  She watched as he got up in what seemed like slow motion, a certain crazed gleam in his brown eyes as he lifted his food above him in both hands almost reverently.  Beside her, Manson also began to rise slowly; as if time had slowed down in anticipation of the chaos that was about to be unleashed by one man alone.

In fact, the rest of the group also stood; Amanda included.  While Ginger tried to convince the reporter to sit down, Raven continued to eat her sandwich as she watched slow motion Pogo throw his food at John 5.  The cheese sauce he had requested splashed on his face as if it was moving through low gravity, thick globs hitting his right eye and pieces of meat exploding into the air.  She could almost swear she could see the ripple of impact on the guitarist’s cheek.  Knowing what was about to happen next, the ex-freelancer gathered her food and moved to grab her best friend before she got dragged into the impending doom.  As soon as her fingers closed over the bare arm, things snapped back to normal speed in an instant and things escalated quickly from there.

John 5 went for the mohawked madman just as Manson came up behind him.  Still smirking, the keyboardist simply sidestepped at the last second; causing the bleach blonde guitarist to slam into his boss in a full on tackle.  While those two struggled to disentangle themselves, Pogo dodged around Twiggy as well as Ginger as he made his way to the counter.  The poor employee behind it looked rightfully terrified, her blue eyes wide as the taller musician approached with an expression full of malice.  Having seen quite enough and wanting to get out before the real party started, Raven signaled to Jeordie before pulling her protesting friend out of the restaurant.  “Trust me, you don’t want to get involved.  And even if you did, you could put your unborn baby in danger,” the midnight clad femme reasoned, tugging her gently but firmly toward the tour bus.

Thankfully her words seemed to do the trick and her normally stubborn companion slumped before following.  “You’re right Raven,” she whispered, looking back at the building with concern.  A loud crash came from the inside, making both women flinch and universally decide to just keep going.

“Do ya think Ginger will be okay?” asked the slightly older, shorter woman asked in a strangely vulnerable tone as her childhood companion led her into the looming vehicle.

“Yeah, Manson won’t let him get too injured when he’s going to be a father.  I know it may not seem like it but he’s very protective of his band,” the former artist assured urging the other woman to sit on the couch before going to the bar to get her a glass of water.

By the time she handed Amanda the glass, a chair smashed out of the window the bus faced.  That was when the doors swung open and people flooded out like rats escaping a sinking ship.  Feeling her own disquiet fill her, Raven took a seat by her friend and placed an arm around her bony shoulders.  That was the first time she really realized just how petite the journalist was.  The other female was much thinner, almost to the point of looking a bit underfed.  Her hips were also rather small, making the rising singer worry just a bit for her dear acquaintance.  Babies could be very big and it would be so hard for the writer to give birth when it came time.  “So, you and Ging never went on a honeymoon,” the worried, black clad twenty-nine year old pointed out, hoping to take her mind off the current route her thoughts were taking.

“Heh, yeah.  We were planning on going before the whole miscarriage happened.  After, he was gone and then I found out I was pregnant.  On top of that, your first tour was going to happen.  There was no way in Hell I was going to miss that,” the curly haired thirty year old giggled, looking grateful for the distraction herself.

“You didn’t have to put off something like that for  _ me _ ,” Raven whispered, pursing her black lips as slight guilt wrapped its way around her heart.

“I  _ wanted _ to.  We’ve been friends since kindergarten, almost like sisters in a way.  Besides, you would have done the same for me,” the curly haired woman pointed out, jumping slightly when Tim burst into the bus suddenly.

The normally placid Swede looked downright pissed, one of his eyes sporting a rather nasty shiner.  His lower lip was also split, blood dribbling onto his make-up coated chin as he stomped into the vehicle.  His normally perfect hair was mussed and hanging in his left eye and a muscle ticked busily in his jaw as he made his way to the bar.  Without a word to either woman, he took a shot of whiskey; shuddering hard as a large commotion began to approach the RV-like vehicle.  “Stay back,” hissed the taller man in a thickly accented voice, his one good eye burning with a deep rage as Ginger stumbled in first.  The unfortunate drummer landed face-first on the carpet before he was back on his feet, looking a bit more battered than the bassist.

“Ging!” Amanda gasped, moving to get to her feet before her longtime companion stopped her with a hand on her wrist.  Looking down, she saw Raven give a sharp shake of her head.

Giving his wife the same look, the bleach blonde turned back around to motion to the others outside.  There were so many voices yelling, it was hard to tell who was saying what; Jeordie coming on first with a strained expression on his brown skinned face.  It looked like he was wrestling with something outside and he had his booted feet braced on the steps as he gritted his teeth.  The pink dress he had worn was torn as well as smeared with Lord only knew what, some of it even in his dreadlocked hair as he gave a curt nod to the others that were still out of sight.  “Give him a hard push, I’m ready,” he shouted over the din of commotion.

With a surge he moved backward as the tip of a mohawk and a bit of John 5 came in.  “Should I come in first?’ asked the guitarist in a breathless voice.

“Yeah, go ahead and get into position,” Twiggy huffed, his lightly muscled arms shaking with effort.  This was followed by a series of groans and shuffling noises as the weary guitarist slowly came into view at a lower position than Jeordie.  The prissy man looked just as battered as the others and just as pissed.

“You ready Manson?” the former band member on the top of the steps gritted out, still keeping tension on what could only be a still struggling Pogo.

“Yeah, hurry it the fuck up!  He’s fighting worse than a catfish,” came the heated, muffled voice of the band leader.

“Alright, I’m going to count to three and me and John here are gonna pull at the same time.  Manny, I want you to push as hard as ya can.  If we get him in, for fuck sake shut the damn door!” ordered the determined former musician.  Then he began to count, the two of them Raven could see surging as one.

As if like a cork from a champagne bottle, Pogo came flying into the bus from the combined efforts of the three men.  Unfortunately for the ever unlucky Ginger, the keyboardist rammed right into him; ending up with both men as a tangled heap on the floor.  Manson came in soon after, closing and locking the door behind him.  He then tossed the keys to a still pissed looking Tim and gave a nod.  “Get us out of here.  The owners promised not to call the police if we left immediately,” the rocker snarled as the giggling terror pulled himself loose of the groaning musician under him.  Then the ‘Antichrist Superstar’ was stomping toward him, his hands curling into tight fists as he ground his teeth together.  Not wanting another fight, Raven moved to grab his arm; not noticing that Amanda had gotten up at the same time to help her husband.

Thankfully Tim nodded before heading to the driver’s seat, giving Pogo a sharp boot to the ribs on his way by.  Letting out a groan of pain that was laced with laughter, the insane male began to roll around as the drummer he had plowed over was pulled to his feet.  “Gacy, why do you do the things you do?” the curly haired journalist sighed as she helped Ginger up and steadied him.  Pogo only shrugged, giving a quirked smile before springing up gracefully.

“I like to make things a bit more interesting,” he purred, looking far too satisfied with himself.

Manson, who had just been convinced to sit on the couch; almost hopped to his feet from that remark alone.  It was only his fiance that stopped him, her hand on his wrist as she quietly pleaded with him to just sit down.  Breathing slowly through his nose, the irritated rocker sat down and pinched the bridge of said appendage.  It was then the bus came to life and began to move, the injured members grabbing ice to nurse their war wounds.  That was when Raven took the opportunity to examine the man next to her, surprised when he only sported a few shallow cuts as well as light bruises.  Not even his short cropped hair was out of place.  The rest of his band wasn’t so lucky, Amanda tending to Ginger’s injuries while Twiggy got the rest.

Just happy the performer was okay, the former freelancer leaned into his side for a moment.  Then she was thinking about what had happened earlier when she had gotten out of the bus and she pursed her lips.  Getting to her feet, she went to the bedroom; knowing full well he would follow close behind.  Sure enough, she heard the sound of platforms behind her and she smile slightly despite the somberness of her plans.  Come Hell or highwater, they were going to reconcile the death of their child together and mourn.  It was probably a bad idea to do this a matter of hours before a concert but she just didn’t see any other way if she wanted to avoid a possible incidence of Manson blowing up at a fan.

Once inside the room they shared, the rising star turned to face her famous lover; giving him a reassuring smile first thing.  The tension he seemed to hold instantly melted for confusion and he tilted his head to the side as his mismatched eyes locked with her hazel ones.  Reaching up for him, she closed the distance and cupped his make-up coated cheek as she gave him an apologetic look.  “We never mourned the loss of our child or even really talked about it since you came home,” she whispered, her heart aching when he flinched as if struck and pulled away from her.  Whirling on his heel, he went to his dresser; gripping the lip of the top as he seemed to try to keep control over himself.

“Please, don’t do this,” he pleaded, his baritone strained as his thin body began to shake.  He had no idea just how much she wished she could comply with his request.

“We have to address this Mare.  You’re obviously still hurting and so am I if I’m honest.  I never got to really reconcile the fact that you didn’t blame me for the miscarriage.  Nor did we get a chance to mourn together and it shows that you haven’t had an outlet.  If a fan so much as comes to me to ask for the time, you’re gonna rip them a new asshole,” she pointed out, staying where she was despite her extreme urge to close the distance and offer him any kind of comfort.

Before they could move on, they would have to endure the explosiveness of his defensive temper.  She had been with him long enough to know that his normal response to any emotional distress was a lash out of anger in an attempt to circumvent the pain.  It was a deeply ingrained behavior and one she was currently bracing for.  In fact, she even moved to lock the door; ensuring they wouldn’t be interrupted.  He would scream, he would say horrible things, he would even throw things in her general direction but he wouldn’t hurt her.  Right now, she had to be strong and weather what was going to be a very bad storm to help the man she loved.

Instead of any of that, the man in front of her shook his head as his tattooed shoulders slumped.  Then his head was slowly turning so he was looking at her out of the corner of his left, whitish-blue eye, the slightly smaller pupil fixed on her.  “You’re right but...  It isn’t just that you lost that baby, as heartless as it sounds.  It was that... I wasn’t there for you when you needed me.  You could have died if Amanda or Johnny hadn’t been there to get you to a hospital.  On top of that, I said such a horrible thing to you when you were already eaten up by guilt.  I couldn’t control myself and had to leave you at your most vulnerable.  We both know what you do if pushed to an extreme,” he whispered, his soft voice slightly muffled by his decorated arm; a hard shudder running through his body as if he had been electrocuted.

“It was torture to know you needed me to protect you and all I could do was hurt you more.  I don’t... I can’t go through that again.  I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to stay in control,” he confessed, the small glimpse of his face that she was getting letting her see just how afraid he was.

All at once, any lingering, buried anger or hurt she had from his actions was gone.  He truly hadn’t been in control of what had come out of his mouth and he was terrified he would end up doing it again.  “I... I know what I’m in for and that you don’t mean it.  We have to get through this,” she whispered, keeping her eyes on his despite her heart racing.  The taller man turned to fully face her, every muscle in his body tense as his hands twitched by his sides.

“I... will do my best to stay rational...,” he whispered, a muscle already twitching in his right cheek.

Clearing her throat, Raven shifted uncomfortably as she licked her lips.  So far things had gone so smoothly but she had some serious doubts about how he was going to handle what was going to come next.  “First, you have to allow yourself to feel the emotions associated with both the loss as well as our temporary separation,” she advised meekly.  The performer stiffened for a brief moment before a tortured expression came over his face.

“I don’t know how,” he confessed, a slight snappiness to his response and his jaw tensed ever so subtly.  Raven could only blink, wondering how she could help him.

“Just.. let go, let whatever you’re feeling come,” she replied, watching as he began to pace.  His long limbs began to shake as his breathing sped up, one of his hands flying to the fringe of hair on the top of his head.

Making a strange noise in his chest, he seemed to look around for something, anything to take his mind off what was happening.  “Don’t run from it, these emotions are nothing to be afraid of,” Raven encouraged, flinching when he whirled on her with blazing eyes.  It was now his stage persona that was glaring at her, a deep anger in his mismatched eyes.  Yet under that anger, there was more hurt than she could ever fathom.  Sneering at her, Manson opened his mouth before just the briefest glimmer of hesitation crossed over his painted visage.  That moment was just enough to shatter his wall and he was slipping to his knees as he began to let out gut-wrenching sobs.

His thin body shook from the force of it, his hands coming up to cover his face as he began to rock back and forth.  In seconds, she was there; wrapping him into a hug as she began to pet his hair gently.  To her shock, he flung his bony arms around her to burrow himself into her; as if hoping she would protect him.  Repositioning so he was cradled into her as best as she could get him, she placed her forehead against his as she stroked his greasepaint covered cheek; closing her own eyes as her emotions overtook her.  Soon they were openly sharing eachother’s agony, soft crying filling the room as they rocked.

After what seemed like an eternity, their sobs tapered off to a sad silence; both having spent all the tears they could.  Giving a shuddering sigh, Manson looked up at her with tears rimming his mismatched eyes; reaching up to pull her into an almost desperate kiss.  It was seeking both comfort as well as a return of mutual lust, something she gave with gusto as she moaned into his hot mouth.  Tongues danced as he slowly straightened, taking the much more familiar role of being the one to give comfort as he pulled her into a loose but needy embrace.  “I love you,” he sighed, only breaking the kiss enough to whisper that against her lips.

“I love you too,” she murmured, relieved tears pricking her eyes as something in her heart loosened.  They had just gotten through something rather major without a blow-up or him rushing to get as drunk as he could.  She was both proud of him and very happy that nothing had happened to cause more drama.

“I want to set a date for the wedding,” he continued, his soft, but urgent words making her heart skip a beat.

Was he really asking what she thought he was?  While they were engaged, actual marriage was another thing entirely.  Getting married held a certain finality that made her feel a bit faint.  Was the man who had haunted her fantasies for so long really willing to spend the rest of his life with her?  “I’m tired of waiting for something I already know I want with all of my heart.  We don’t have to discuss it now but I would like to lay out plans sooner rather than later, in case you want a certain date,” he explained, his arms trembling lightly as he trailed his lips slowly up to rest on her forehead.

“Halloween, I’ve always wanted to get married on Halloween,” she blurted, feeling her cheeks flush as he stilled.

It didn’t help when he began to chuckle, cuddling her close as he pet her hair.  “That sounds perfect for the both of us,” hummed the singer, slowly getting to his feet to release her and go to the bathroom to wash his make-up off.  Not wanting to go back out into the main bus just yet, Raven sat on the bed to wait for him; picking up Kathy with a small smile.  When he came back in the room, he was naked and had a weary expression on his paper white face.  Even his left contact was out, making both eyes a gentle brown.  “We have a few hours before our next stop, want to take a nap?” he whispered, seeming almost timid as he stayed where he was.

“Yeah, we could both use one.  Just, don’t be afraid to come to me if you need to go off for a bit.  I know neither of us are done crying our tears over this but I think we can get through this,” Raven whispered, laying on the bed and placing her stuffed dog between them as he followed suit and swept her into his arms.

“I think you might be right,” rasped his drowsy voice, his hands petting her as they both slipped into a comfortable sleep.


	7. First Fanboy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: ‘The day science begins to study non-physical phenomena, it will make more progress in one decade than in all the previous centuries of its existence.’ - Nikola Tesla

The concert started out so normal that night.  Manson seemed much more relaxed after their breakthrough and had even let up a bit on his more dominating behaviors on stage, to both her relief and disappointment.  As they wound down on the final song of the night, an eager fan decided it would be a good idea to breach security and clamber onto the stage.  In an attempt to protect Raven from the male, the season performer charged after him.  Unfortunately, he was a distraction; another man coming up from behind the rockstar as he gave chase to the original stage crasher.  Thankfully, she saw him coming and braced herself for the worst only to have the smiling guy stopping a few feet in front of her.  “Hey, I don’t have much time but I wanted to tell ya you’re doing great!  Ya ever wanna ditch girly boy and get with a real man, here’s my number,” the college age male declared, handing her a piece of paper as the band behind her dropped their instruments to come to her rescue.

Barely restraining an urge to laugh, she took the scrap of paper with a bemused expression, seeing her fiance turning to come back to her out of the corner of her eye.  He had obviously heard the commotion from the instruments dropping to the stage and immediately knew something was wrong.  “Thanks for the thought but I’m already very happy.  You better run now or your ass’ll belong to Pogo,” she advised, giggling slightly when he noticed the band as well as Manson closing distance quickly.  Blowing her a cheeky kiss, the blonde ran off; hopping off the ledge and dodging around security expertly.  The man was cute and had a confidence that would charm many but he was way off her radar.

In seconds, the reason why was scooping her into his arms and carrying her off the stage bridal style; snarling at anyone who came too close.  He carried her straight to the tour bus, taking her to their room and locking the door behind him.  As soon as they were alone, the singer’s eyes were travelling over her to check for injury, going still when he spotted the piece of paper sticking out of her hand.  “What’s that?” rasped the taller, still agitated performer, pointing to the scrap and taking note of how she started to shift uncomfortably.

“The dork gave me his number.  It means...,” she began before she was interrupted by a surprisingly rough kiss.

He was fairly biting her lips, his energy screaming of possession and dominance.  When he finally broke the liplock, the former artist was fairly panting as she held onto his shoulders to keep her feet.  There had been no doubt about how he had felt about her in that kiss or in his mismatched eyes.  It had been both protective and full of ownership, with just a hint of fear that she might actually leave.  Leaning forward to nestle into his bare chest, she allowed her arms to drop to his waist as she gave him a hug.  “As I was saying, it doesn’t mean a thing Mare.  Do you really think I’d give up a relationship I had only dreamed of for some college fratboy?” she whispered, a faint hint of amusement to her voice.  The notion made traitorous giggles bubble up in her chest and she barely managed to hold them back with sheer willpower alone.

The low vocalization she got in response made her skin tingle and she felt a low coil of arousal wind itself around her womb.  “The answer is no, sweetie.  Even if I hadn’t been obsessed with you as a teenager, I wouldn’t leave you that easily after everything we’ve been through.  I’m often far too loyal for my own good,” she assured, kissing above one of his pink nipples and shuddering slightly as his rough hands travelled her back.  They stayed like that for what seemed like endless moments before he was steering her to the bed, sitting beside her as he seemed to mull something over in his head.

“Is that the reason you stayed with the two assholes?  How long were you with them for anyway?  At what point was it enough for you to finally leave?  What point would it take with me?  Would you allow me to hurt you even though you could never deserve it?  I know we’ve come close to permanently separating before but we’ve always come back together,” murmured the distraught rocker, avoiding her eyes as he clasped his hands in his lap.

Heart dropping at what he was implying, Raven shot forward to grab his left hand and pull it to her; placing a kiss on the top of the appendage.  “You aren’t like them.  There have been a few times where you could have been but you weren’t.  You came close to hitting me once and haven’t come close since.  While you also almost had sex with me on stage and in front of a camera, you weren’t in your right state of mind.  Let’s face it, when we started this thing we both had a lot of growing left to do as people,” she whispered, staring down at the scarred hand she held and admiring his black nail polish.

“There’s still so much damage I could do even now.  It would be such a simple thing for me to lose control.  Its happened quite a few times already.  All it would take is one time and I end up hitting you.  If I ever lay a hand on you...  Raven, if I ever start becoming actively abusive I expect you to leave me.  I couldn’t... I couldn’t live with myself if...,” whispered the bony rocker, trying to pull away from her and finding her grip on him was iron tight.

“Brian...  If you were gonna start doing something like that you already would have.  Instead you’ve been more concerned about making sure you don’t hurt me any further.  People that tend to be abusive don’t do that.  It’s about control, about making themselves feel better by hurting the ones that are weaker than them,” the former artist informed softly, not missing when her lover went stiff for a few moments.

“You aren’t unfamiliar with abusive mentality either.  I trust you and I doubt that’s going to change anytime soon.  I just don’t believe you have it in you to be an abuser, even with your temper,” she continued, rubbing her thumb over the back of his hand in a soothing manner.

“You didn’t see me at my true worst.  The violence I’m capable of when my temper is in control...  You’ve seen glimpses and I’m sure you’ve seen more than enough video to know I can get pretty scary,” replied the singer, still staring at the carpet despite her scooting closer to his side and snuggling up to him.  Images of a mic stand hitting Ginger and knocking him off the platform flashed through his head, along with several sexual assaults he had committed against his own band members.  It wouldn’t be that hard to imagine Raven in their places, the image disturbing him deeply.

Just watching the emotions flash over his face, she knew what he was thinking about and kissed where his jaw met his neck to get his attention.  When the distraught celebrity turned to look at her, she gave the end of his nose a kiss before smiling.  “The very thought of hurting me repulses you, that’s the reason why I’m not too worried,” she whispered, smiling when he leaned into her in return.

“Yeah, even if I just yell at you I feel like a piece of shit.  If I ever actually hit you, I don’t think I could ever forgive myself,” he whispered, lifting the hand that held his to kiss her fingers.

Comfortable silence seemed to pass between the pair as he gently tugged his hand free to wrap his arm around her back.  “If that guy makes another run, I’ll give him something to think about,” rumbled the ‘Antichrist Superstar’, his words almost making her laugh.  Knowing her fiance wouldn’t react well due to how uptight he was at the moment, she simply bit her lower lip and smiled.

“You don’t have to do anything like that.  He’s just some guy who wants to chase after the new talent before she gets too famous,” she teased, all humor fading when she saw the deathly serious glimmer in her lover’s heterochromic eyes.  Then his body was covering hers and his lips were taking hers heatedly as he used one hand to pin both her wrists to the mattress.

It was far too empty, too quiet but at least there were reminders of her everywhere.  Even her dog stayed by his side, as if sensing the emptiness he felt.  Or maybe it was because the canine missed her owner.  Whatever the reason, Johnny was grateful for the warm, fuzzy presence in his lap.  It had only been a few days but he found himself feeling more alone than he had ever been.  His only saving grace was the fact he had a movie to act in.  Once that was done, he had other projects to help keep him busy.  Still, none of that helped the ache deep inside his heart every day she was gone.  To tell the truth, he felt a bit pathetic for acting like a lovesick puppy but he honestly couldn’t help it.

When she had left with the others, he had moved into Manson’s house temporarily just to have an environment that reminded him of her.  It would have been funny if it wasn’t so sad.  Scratching Lady’s ears, the thespian let out a slow sigh as he turned on the TV to distract himself from how quiet the house was.  He even missed Amanda and her antics with either Manson or Pogo.  A knock on the door jolted him out of his reverie and the star gently pushed the now growling mutt to the floor before getting up.  Closing the distance in a few steps, he swung the door open to reveal a grinning Jonathan Davis.  “Hey John-o.  Heard Raves was on her first tour and figured you would need the company,” the jolly singer declared, his eyes glittering as the actor could only give him a stunned look.

Lights flashed over pale skin as the last strings of a song poured from two pairs of black colored lips.  Hazel eyes looked over the throng of people that were cheering, calling two names at once.  For a second, the timid woman found herself in Manson’s place; holding complete sway over a of mob of people that would jump if she just said the simple word.  It was heady and she could see herself getting used to this feeling fairly quickly, something that normally would have distressed her.  Spreading out her arms, she allowed the cheers to wash over her; not noticing that Manson was stepping up beside her to lift his mic to his mouth.  “Hey, all you paparazzi fucks out there!  I got a fuckin’ story you’ll probably trip over yourselves to write.  Raven and I are gonna get married this Halloween!” he announced, making the dark haired femme come back to herself with a slam.

Gone was the stage persona that shielded her from her innate shyness and stage fright, leaving her raw as well as vulnerable in front of the rather impressive audience.  Surely she hadn’t heard what she thought she had.  Maybe he had said something else and her wishful thinking had made her hear wrong.  These people already knew they were engaged but announcing their marriage date made it very real.  Heart tripping behind her ribs, the sounds of the people watching faded away as her lover turned his focus to her and grabbed her hand to yank her hard against him.  Then his lips were taking hers and she melted, his tongue pleading her for entry as every muscle inside her relaxed.  When he broke the kiss, she found herself purring slightly before she remembered just where she was.

Before she could get too flustered, Manson was leading her off to the side of the stage; a rather shocked Amanda there to greet them.  “I’m sorry about announcing that without telling you.  I want everyone to know you’re mine and we’re going to get married anyway,” the goth rocker explained, sounding anxious as Raven tried to gain her bearings.  Unfortunately, that was also the moment the rest of the band showed their faces; each offering their own congratulations and making a huge cacophony of noise that made her head throb.  Staring up at the group like a deer caught in the headlights, the nervous woman felt an extreme urge to flee.

As if sensing her distress, Manson was there in seconds; taking her in his arms and glaring at the others until they went quiet.  Then he was moving her to the bus, steering her to the couch and fixing her a small glass of Green Apple Pucker.  As he handed her the glass of green fluid, the others came in; Pogo leading the charge like a bull in a china shop.  This would have very likely started a huge fight if it hadn’t been for the quick intervention of Twiggy, the crossdressing male throwing himself between the keyboardist and lead singer.  “Alright, lets sit down and relax for a bit.  Look at Raven, she’s spooked as it is and doesn’t need anymore excitement,” he hissed, pointing to the pale, shaking female as she took a sip of the sour beverage she held.

Thankfully that seemed to be enough and Pogo seemed apologetic as he moved around Manson to take a seat by her side.  The singer went stiff for a few seconds before simply accepting these circumstances and taking his own seat on the other side of the midnight clad femme.  Placing his left hand on her free right hand, the normally gruff singer gave his fiance a concerned glance.  She was shaking like a leaf as she took another sip of alcohol, her hazel eyes wide and unseeing.  He almost asked what was wrong when it hit him.  “You’re afraid of your parents and exs,” he breathed, his skin going cold when she gave a slow nod.

“They’re still around and, while they don’t know where I am now, it’ll only be a matter of time before they find out.  With so much media focused on our wedding, it could very well lead them right to our door,” whispered a small voice, a full body shudder running through the sick looking twenty nine year old.

Ginger and Jeordie moved forward as one, Amanda close behind as the kneeled on the floor in front of the rising star to look up at her with serious eyes.  Even Gacy was pressing against her, his usual grin gone for a grim expression.  “We’ll do everything we can to protect you.  The police are also a phone call away.  We could even teach you some form of self defense,” the mohawked keyboardist hissed, his earthy eyes glittering with protectiveness as the others nodded in unison.  The ‘Antichrist Superstar’ on her other side let go of her hand to wrap his arm around her waist.

“We could even teach you a weapon if you wanted.  I know how to handle knives and Pogo, while insane, is very skilled with all kinds of firearms,” he assured with a soft rumble, allowing his lips to brush her ear.

Leaning into him, Raven closed her verdant eyes and took in a deep breath before nodding.  “That may be a good idea.  No guns though, those things scare the piss outta me,” conceded the ex-freelancer as she smiled at the people surrounding her.

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to change out of these clothes,” she murmured, moving to the back with a certain celebrity close behind her.  As soon as they were gone, Amanda was pouncing on Pogo; to the bemusement of the others.

Shaking his head, Tim moved to the front of the bus to start the oversized vehicle and get it moving.  Ginger, on the other hand, was torn between just watching what happened or intervening.  His wife currently had one of the more unpredictable band member under her, his t-shirt his a tight grip as she lowered herself so she was nose to nose with the man.  In all honesty, she was just asking for the crazy man to do something and the drummer simply decided to wait.  To his surprise, the curly haired writer moved first; licking his face in a long, slow swipe.  The keyboardist could only blink in confusion before letting out a roar of laughter as he wrapped her in a tight hug.  “Aw man, I knew there was a reason I liked ya!  Ging, ya got yourself a keeper alright.  Your guys’ kid is gonna grow up twisted as Hell,” cackled the leather clad man as he let the squirming woman go.

Grimacing, the journalist rolled her green eyes before moving to the bar to get a glass of ice water.  As much as she wanted alcohol at the moment, she resisted the urge for the sake of her developing child.  “For once in your life Gacy, get serious.  You guys all need to be on your toes now.  You guys weren’t around during the peak of her problems with family and those assholes.  You have no idea what they’re capable of, what they’ll do just to fuck with her.  There’s a reason why she hadn’t talked to any of them for years,” she declared, trying to give the group a severe look but only succeeding in looking scared out of her mind.  The smile immediately left the keyboardist’s face and he got to his feet slowly, keeping his brown eyes fixed on hers.  Moving to his side, Ginger placed a hand on his left upper arm lightly just in case the other man was pissed.  Thankfully, Pogo patted his hand in a condescending manner to show that was far from the case.

“I may talk a lot of shit, but I won’t let any harm come to Raven,” he announced, his eyes moving back to his friend’s wife.  When she gave a relieved smile, the insane light came back into his expressive orbs.  Then he was rushing her with a cackle, pinning her against the bar as a grin curled his red painted lips.

Raven had just pulled on her black jeans when she heard a loud thud and scuffling coming from the main area of the vehicle.  Sighing, she moved to go back in there and stop whatever was going on when she was stopped by Manson grabbing her around her waist.  “They’ll be fine for the moment.  Right now, I want to talk to you.  Are you going to be okay?” he husked, pulling her so her back was flush against his body.

“Y-yeah.  I mean, it took me off guard that you announced our date like that but I’m more worried about what will be waiting for me when we come home because of it,” she whispered, shuddering at the thought.  A low rumble from behind her startled her at first, then she was relaxing as she felt lips land on her neck.

“None of us will let anything happen to you and even when we can’t be there, we’ll make sure you can defend yourself,” whispered the singer, his hands holding her tightly around her lower stomach.

“In fact, I would like to start teaching you how to handle a knife.  I want you to be able to defend yourself the next time a stage rusher coordinates an attack.  The next guy might not be as benevolent,” he continued, the soft raspiness to his voice causing skitters of lust to tickle beneath her skin.

Then he was letting her go to move to the door, leaving her feeling a bit bereft.  The smirk he gave her as he opened the entry was just enough to make her blush as well as feel slightly indignant.  The bastard knew exactly what he was doing and she found herself wanting to chase after him to get a little payback.  Shaking her head, she sighed before following him out into the main area of the bus.  She didn’t make it too far before she ran into her lover’s back, making her look up in confusion.  He almost seemed to be shielding her from whatever was going on ahead.  Craning her head around his left side, she saw Ginger and Pogo engaged in a semi-serious wrestling match.

While the drummer had a furious glare on his make-up coated face, the mohawked keyboardist he was trying and failing to pin was laughing like the loon he was.  The normally placid bleach blonde looked about ready to punch his fellow bandmate’s lights out.  Sighing, Raven tried to move around Manson; only to have him bar her way with his arm.  Looking up at him with confusion, she blinked when he shook his head.  “They’ll be fine.  Right now, I don’t want you getting caught in the crossfire,” the rocker explained.  Opening her mouth to argue, she stopped when she saw Amanda making a beeline for them.

“He’s right.  Right now, Pogo is just playing.  Even if he wasn’t, neither of them would want us to get involved due to the high probability of us getting injured,” the journalist reasoned.

Pursing her lips, Raven let out an irritated huff before rolling her eyes.  “Alright, if you say so,” she conceded, a bit surprised when the celebrity in front of her ushered her friend behind him as well.  From the expression on the writer’s face, she was surprised too.

“I do, in fact I want you both to go to the room and stay there until I come get you,” whispered the singer, every line of his rail thin body tensed for a fight.

Knowing better than to argue when he was in a state like this, the former artist moved to the room she shared with him; her childhood friend close on her heels.  As soon as they were alone, Amanda was pouncing on her with a billion questions about the wedding announcement.  By the time things were explained, all sound had ceased in the large vehicle.  Just before they could discuss whether or not they should peek out, the door was opening for Manson to poke his head in.  “Things should be fine now.  Come on out,” he encouraged, pulling back to leave it up to them if they followed or not.  Shrugging, the pair came out to find a rather amusing but unsurprising sight.

Although both were a bit roughed up, the two men were cuddled on the couch laughing while nursing a drink as if nothing had happened between them at all  At first, Raven felt a bit flabbergasted and so did Amanda from the looks of it.  Then the long time companions simply sighed in unison and shook their heads before moving into the room.  The journalist flopped in her husband’s lap while the rising singer took a seat on his right.  That lasted about five seconds before she was being picked up by her fiance and set in his lap, his nose nudging the top of her head affectionately as his arms wrapped around her.  “Care for a shot or five Ravey?” Pogo purred, smirking at her despite the glower his boss was giving him.

“Sure, let’s have a party,” she replied with a grin, getting surprised glances from the group around her.

“What?  I’m not allowed to want to cut loose every once in a blue moon?” the black clad female asked, amused by their bewilderment.

“I think you should do it more,” Gacy returned joyfully as he got up to get a drink for her.  Amanda only sighed before nodding in agreement.

“As much as I hate to agree with him on anything, Cuckoo is right.  You’ve spent so much time feeling bad or just dealing with drama that it’s more than time for you to live a little.  Though, I personally don’t think getting drunk is all that fun,” the writer urged, leaning into the musician holding her with a happy sigh.

“I don’t either but we lack pot and when in Rome...  I won’t drink enough to get a hangover though.  Nothing worse than waking up to a splitting headache and vomiting,” Raven assured, taking the glass of Green Apple Pucker from the keyboardist.

Downing the glass in one swallow, she shuddered and her mouth screwed into a grimace.  “Yeugh, why does the afterbite to this have to be so harsh,” she complained, handing the glass back to Gacy as the warm tingle of alcohol filled her extremities.  She had always been a bit of a lightweight and two drinks already had her very lightly buzzed.  It would probably be only one or two more until she was entering drunkenness.

“Let that sit for a bit hun, you’ve already had one and I know you have zero tolerance,” advised the rough voice of a man she had loved long before she had met him.

Giggling as a general feeling of well-being began to fill her, Raven nodded before placing a kiss under his chin.  An action that made the goth rocker go stiff briefly, a growl of possession quietly bubbling out of him as he tilted his head to capture her mouth.  It was a quick but fierce kiss that made her head swim as he pulled back.  With a gaze that said ‘later’, he smirked at her before sitting back and moving his gaze to Twiggy.  The dress wearing guitarist gave him a grin, winking as a silent communication passed between them.

Soon the entire group had a glass in their hands, Amanda’s holding Sprite rather than booze.  Stories were swapped about early days in the band as well as various wardrobe ‘malfunctions’, one of them being Pogo running out on stage while buck naked.  Another was about one time Manson had accidentally cum on stage, nearly making liquor come out of Raven’s nose due to how hard she was laughing.  As the night wore on, the former freelancer cut herself off when her vision became a blur and she had the urge to just start talking and never stop.  That was the point she knew she was drunk and was quite content to watch the others drink themselves silly.  All in all, it was one of the most fun nights she had ever had.


	8. Small Hiccups

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: ‘And as a writer, one of the things that I've always been interested in doing is actually invading your comfort space. Because that's what we're supposed to do. Get under your skin, and make you react.’ - Stephen King

As she lay on the bed she shared with her fiance, Raven found herself reflecting on the tour.  It had been two months since she had begun on this strange journey and a lot had happened.  Manson and Amanda were getting along a lot better for starters and she was developing quite a fanbase, to the consternation of her protective lover.  Despite his announcement of their wedding date, many of the men in the crowd had begun catcalling her and even throwing things on the stage to her.  While she generally ignored it as part of the concert experience, her much more seasoned fiance had come very close to leaping into the rabble to give them a piece of his mind.

There was also the fact that he was still extremely protective, even with nightly talks about what had happened and how neither of them were truly at fault.  He had let go of his guilt a while ago.  His fear was another matter entirely and the twenty-nine year old was honestly worried he was going to lose it one day.  With the way things were going, it was inevitable and she was helpless to stop it.  It seemed that nothing she said or did helped alleviate the issue and she found herself pondering if maybe a bit of distance would be the answer.  While it seemed counter-intuitive, it might actually do the trick.  Making the singer see she would be safe away from him might be enough to break him from the cycle but she was reluctant to try.  She was no Psychologist and her actions could very well make things worse.

To top off the huge shit taco, her best friend was now experiencing the very best in morning sickness; an ailment not helped by the rocking of the tour bus as it went down the road.  Tim tried his best to drive gently but there was nothing he could do about motion sickness brought on by hormones.  It was getting so bad, the former artist was honestly considering ending her tour early.  Ginger was also starting to push for that, against heavy protests from his wife.  The fact was, the normally energetic woman could no longer keep down more than soup and it was worrying everyone.  If things weren’t better soon, she would have to give heavy consideration to committing the greatest sin in the business.  If Mandy was sent home, the drummer would follow and it would be impossible to continue further.

Staring up at the ceiling, the pale woman winced as she heard the all too familiar sound of her childhood companion vomiting.  Even the grouchy performer next to her sat up, a sympathetic expression on his naked face.  “Poor kid.  Christ, I wish the dramamine did shit for her,” he growled, slowly getting to his feet and revealing the fact he was very naked.  Just looking over his tattooed body brought back pleasant memories of the previous night and she shook them off to nod as she got out of bed as well.  She was just as naked as her lover and she tried to ignore the faint sting of shame and disgust over her body as she went to the dresser.  She had regained a bit of weight since she was eating more regularly and some of her natural body fat had returned to her hips, belly and breasts.  Unfortunately this also caused stretch marks due to her constantly fluctuating weight and only added to her image issues.

A pair of thin but strong arms wrapping around her broke her out of her dark thoughts as a chin came to rest on her right shoulder.  His hands spread out on her pudgy, marked belly and he let out a low sound that settled into her womb as he pulled her back hard against his burgeoning erection.  Hot, needy, open mouthed kisses began to land on her porcelain colored neck and shoulder, his hands massaging and kneading the soft skin of her tummy like warm bread dough.  Then they were moving to grip her hips as he gave her left ear a gentle nip.  “Mare,” she gasped out, warm tendrils of need beginning to branch out from her lower body to take over her entire being.  The primal vocalization he made in response only helped to stoke the inferno now blazing inside her and she found herself panting as she shifted her hips backward to rub along his steel hard member.

Next thing Raven knew, she was being bent forward as talented fingers stroked and rubbed teasingly along her slit.  “Aaaah,” she gasped out, her knees going weak as he brushed against her protruding pearl.  The rock star behind her only released a guttural noise, his other hand reaching up to play with her right breast as it dangled in the air.  Then two digits slowly dragged up along her womanhood, entering her shuddering entrance shallowly to gather her nectar on his fingertips.  Using this slickness, he went to work on her clit as his other hand played with her sensitive nipple.

Back bowing downward as her mouth opened in a soundless ‘o’, the former freelancer was lost in a haze of sensation.  It felt like electricity and fire were licking her skin at the same time, gathering in a squirming, pulsing ball in her womb.  Chuckling, the ‘God of Fuck’ gingerly pinched her aching button between his index and middle fingers and began to mercilessly attack the nodule with a callused thumb.  The short digit moved in alternating directions of clockwise and counterclockwise, drawing quiet keens of both his birth name and his performance name from her lips.  Just before she would have tipped over that sweet edge, all activity stopped and she very nearly sobbed from the loss.  She was just about to turn her head to ask him why he stopped when she felt him place his hooded tip against her aching junction.

Time almost seemed to freeze as he rubbed himself along her, almost teasing her as he shifted to place a kiss between her shoulderblades.  Holding her breath, Raven didn’t dare speak as everything inside her screamed for him to just take her already.  When he placed a hand on her lower back, her heart nearly leapt in her throat and her black painted nails scraped against the drawer she held onto as she let out a wholly unconscious whimper.  Then he was slowly moving forward, every inch of him filling her and making her groan as she felt his pubes tickle her butt when he hilted.  The velvet steel of him twitched hard inside her walls and they hissed in unison as Manson began to pepper the back of her neck with kisses that were halfway to being bites.  Shifting his weight slightly as his hands came to her hips, the superstar began to move slowly; seeming to revel in her soft keens.

The sensation was like two puzzle pieces that had finally found eachother and both participants were soon caught up in the feeling, the formerly dominant session evolving into something almost beyond sex.  It almost felt like their souls were joining and Manson continued to move at his slow pace, his bony hips occasionally moving in small circles as his moans mixed with Raven’s.  It seemed like they were approaching something wonderful together and he leaned forward to cover her body with his own, his lips taking hers in a kiss as he continued to thrust and swivel within her.  Then they came in unison, long and hard as their mouth met.  As he finished spilling into her, the performer rested his clammy forehead against her shoulder as he tried to catch his breath.  Whatever that had been about in the beginning, it had changed on them both and left the pair a bit breathless.

After what seemed like endless moments, her fiance pulled his flaccid cock from her and helped her straighten.  Shuddering at the feeling of cum leaking from her, the up and coming singer felt a wave of apprehension wash over her.  What if she got pregnant again?  Even worse, what if she lost the baby again?  Feeling panic begin to swell in her chest, the young woman forced herself to take a few, deep breaths to calm down.  So, when she felt hands on her shoulders, she nearly tripped over herself because she spun around so fast.  Pinwheeling her arms, she found herself steadied by Manson as he huddled her into his skeletally skinny frame.  Then he was tilting her chin up to take her lips in a loving kiss.  “We’ll take care of it,” he declared, answering a question she never asked.

“Wh-wha?” she whispered, despite having a pretty good suspicion about what he was talking about.

“If you’re pregnant, it won’t be a problem.  I  _ want _ a family with the woman I love,” he husked, his words honestly shocking her.  He had never seemed like much of a family man and she had never really wanted kids in the first place, a sentiment that had caused a huge part of the mess.

The feeling of his rough thumb rubbing her right cheek brought her back to reality and she saw clear want in his matching eyes.  “I want it all with you.  A life, kids, growing old together.  We’ve already been through so much already and... I trust you.  You... you’ve helped me to become a better man,” he whispered, giving her nose a quick peck before releasing her to get dressed.  As she pulled on black jeans, Raven was surprised she didn’t feel the need to ask just what that had been about earlier.  She knew Manson well enough to surmise on her own that he had sensed where her thoughts were going.  He had known she was feeling bad about how she looked again and he wanted to use the method he knew best to drive the thought out of her head.  What it became from there was something entirely different.

As she pulled a Marilyn Manson t-shirt over her head, she found herself wondering just what had happened.  They had sex before and it had never felt like that.  It wasn’t that she was complaining, what happened was otherworldly, she just wanted to know what it was.  Combing her shoulder length hair into a ponytail, she leaned back into the taller man that came up behind her and wrapped his thin but strong arms around her.  “I felt it too.  We’ll talk about it later.  Right now I wanna give frizz-head a bit of a break and have Tim pull over for breakfast,” husked his voice in her ear, his lips brushing behind said appendage tenderly.  Then he was pulling away from her, his hand trailing on her hips before he was giving her butt a hearty swat.

As the rocker went out into the bus, only partially dressed, Raven wandered into their bathroom to put on her make-up.  She had never liked the stuff and never wore it unless she had to but, as a singer, she now found herself having to get used to it.  The first few performances, Jeordie or Manson had helped her; offering tips on how to do it herself.  After some practice and less than stellar attempts, the tomboy had grown quite a proficiency for using the substance.  Some part of her still rebelled at using it at all but she ground that inclination into the dirt.  If she wanted to be successful, she had to be ready to fulfill certain expectations.  Also, it felt more like a mask that she slipped on and it helped her feel a bit safer on stage.

A toilet flushed as a damp paper towel passed hands, a thankful murmur echoing off the tile walls.  Worried, brown eyes watched the hunched figure as a hand moved through bleach blonde hair.  “I know what you’re going to say and the answer’s still no,” snarled the stubborn journalist just before she began heaving into the porcelain bowl again.  Shaking his head, the drummer simply knelt behind the stubborn woman and began to rub her back in small circles.

“We’re all getting worried hun.  You haven’t kept down substantial food in days now and I really think its best we stop,” he tried to reason, only getting a heated glare for his troubles.

“Yeah and then what?  Megs gets a reputation for being unreliable?  While Manson has built enough fame to get away with moodiness every once in a while, she doesn’t have that yet.  She’s just starting out and don’t say I can just go back home cause I know damn well you’ll follow me,” she growled, letting out a small sigh when the vehicle finally stopped.  The musician opened his mouth to argue but quickly shut it as it dawned on him that she was right.

“We have a few more months of travel and if this gets worse, I’ll leave but...  I need you to fucking give me your word of honor you’ll fucking stay here and see the rest of the tour through,” the ever obstinate femme hissed as she got to her feet and tottered to the sink to wash out her mouth.  Her husband only watched, the expression on his pale face resembling that of a trapped animal.

It wasn’t the end of the world, he knew that.  It wasn’t like she was seven or even eight months along.  He should feel perfectly fine leaving her at home while she was this early on but he just didn’t.  He wanted to be there for her through the whole thing and the thought of sending her back to the mansion when she was this sick tore him up on the inside.  Still, he knew she was right, about many things.  If he left, Raven’s new career would be forfeit.  To top it off, that reputation would follow her no matter what she ended up doing.  If she went back to freelancing artwork, she would never get work due to pulling out of these concert gigs.  While it would be purely his fault, she would be the one to get flack for it.  Sighing, he ran a hand through his chin length hair as he followed the woman he loved out into the vehicle.  It was only her hand grabbing his that stopped his whirling thoughts.  Looking down, he saw the smaller woman smiling up at him.  “If the worst happens, it won’t be like I’m alone.  Johnny is at Manson’s place and I doubt he’d just leave me to my own devices.  The man is as protective as you are sometimes,” she reasoned, her words making him feel slightly better.  That, however, was before he turned his gaze to the front and saw his boss wandering around with his dick hanging out of his pants and no shirt on.

Raven opened the door to join the others when she heard something that nearly made her consider going back inside.  “Oh dear God!  Put your dick back in you pants for fudge sake,” came the violated voice of her childhood best friend.  Just that sentence alone was enough to make all manner of horrifying possibilities fly through her head.  The one in the forefront in her mind was, of course, Pogo.  Just thinking of seeing ‘the penis of doom’ made her shudder in revulsion.  It was only the sound of Manson’s laughter that stopped her and she shook her head slightly.  With him feeling more comfortable around Amanda, the singer was much more likely to let things hang loose.  If there was one thing she knew about him, it was the fact he really didn’t give a fuck about being naked around others.  He mostly put on clothing when he felt he had to and he apparently felt it was time to get her friend used to the idea.

“What?  It’s not like you haven’t seen one before, what with Ginger and Pogo around.  Unless you’re telling me that ol Fishy boy here has become celibate,” came the teasing reply as she walked down the short hall to the living area.

The next reply was so predictable, the amused woman mouthed along with it as she took in the scene that greeted here.  “It doesn’t mean I want to see yours!” Mandy squealed, looking violated while her husband looked just plain insulted.  In fact, it looked like he was going to say something for several moments before he shook his head and moved to sit on the couch.

“So where did you have Tim stop?” he sighed in a slightly exasperated tone, his earthy orbs traveling to where Raven was standing.  Any left over animosity left immediately for a friendly smile as he motioned the ebony clad woman to sit on the couch by him.  This, of course, made Manson whirl around to look at her; immediately putting himself back into his tight jeans.

“Just an Ihop.  I figured some pancakes could so all of us some good,” the performer responded, motioning her forward as well.

Giving a small smile, the former artist walked forward; snickering slightly at the dirty look her closest friend was giving her.  In fact, she paused just long enough to give the slightly older female a shrug before moving on.  “Sounds good to me.  I could use a good breakfast that will stick with me for the day,” she replied, moving to sit next to Ginger rather than head to her lover.  This made everyone stare at her for a few moments before they simply shrugged it off and began to prepare to disembark the bus.  Even the formerly sick Amanda seemed excited at the prospect of pancakes and practically led the charge out of the large mode of transport.

Giggling, Raven shifted her focus to the drummer beside her; all too aware of the fact Manson was still there as well and was watching everything closely.  Clearing her throat, she opened her mouth to talk when she was stopped by him holding up a hand.  “Before you say anything, I want to say I’ll be staying with the tour until the end.  Even if Amanda has to go back to Cali for a while.  I don’t want to be the reason your career fails,” he whispered, his dark eyes meeting hers steadily as he timidly reached forward to take her hands in his.  Raven could only blink, her mouth hanging open in astonishment.

“Er, er I don’t know what to say Ging.  That’s beyond generous and more than I expected,” she whispered before pulling the taller musician into a tight hug.

Freezing, the submissive drummer looked up at his boss for okay before reciprocating in the embrace that was offered to him.  When Manson nodded, the bleach blonde gave the shy woman a tight hug.  “Its the least I can do for you after everything you’ve done for all of us.  Besides, you’re my friend as well.  It wouldn’t be right to do that to a friend,” he murmured, pulling away to give her a small smile.  Nodding as she wiped away happy tears, she grabbed his hand and shot to her feet; dragging the much taller man behind her.

“Alright, that’s enough drama on an empty stomach.  There be bacon behind them there walls.  Bacon, hashbrowns and blueberry pancakes,” she declared enthusiastically, yanking the drummer behind her as she made her way out of the huge bus.  Manson was right behind them, shaking his head in amusement at the fact his underling was being led around like a dog on a leash.

Ginger was wiry and didn’t have much muscle but he was stronger than he looked.  He also could hold his own in a fight, something the musician had proven with Pogo and even the lead man himself.  So it made it all the more amusing that a woman who used to be afraid to say boo to anyone was now leading him.  In fact, the singer wished he had a camera on him just for this occasion.  Even the man’s wife was amused by this turn of events, taunting him with a wiggle of her eyebrows as they walked by.

A few moments later and they were all seated at a table, Raven by Manson while Amanda sat with Ginger.  Pogo was sandwiched between a glaring Tim and stern looking Jeordie, poor John 5 relegated to a chair on the end of the table.  As soon as they sat down, people around them began to get uncomfortable; some of the older people getting up to go to the front before they were done eating.  Sighing, the black haired female tried to ignore the slight feeling of shame this gave her.  She would have to get used to people shunning her because of her new profession, especially some of the elderly.  Just thinking about it made her wonder what her own grandmother would think about this?  The woman had been supportive but had also had a very strong opinion against rock ‘n’ roll.

It didn’t help that none of the waitresses seemed to want to come to their table.  Most of them were middle aged women and they all looked fairly normal.  They also seemed to be having a quiet discussion about just who would deal with their group.  After a few minutes, they sent an older woman to their table and she looked less than pleased to be dealing with them.  Despite the sour look on her face, Raven strove to be polite and use her manners.  A fact that seemed to almost shock the scowl off their server’s face.  When she got to Manson, however, recognition came into her eyes immediately and she very nearly jumped back from the table.  It was almost as if she was afraid he would eat her or something.  Unfazed by this, the singer merely placed his order as if nothing had ever happened at all.

By the time their food arrived, the rising singer found herself wondering if their waitress had spit in it just because she hadn’t like the way they looked.  The others didn’t have the same reservations, with the exception of Amanda; digging in while the journalist looked over her pancakes with a discerning eye.  After a few moments, she deemed them okay and began to eat; leaving only a highly suspicious Raven.  Poking at her pancakes with a fork, she licked her lips before beginning to eat; silently praying nothing untoward had been done to her food.  Unfortunately, that was when a group of young people that had just came in recognized them.

Manson could tell what they were going to do by observing their body language and stiffened.  He was on the outside of the table and was therefore protecting her, yet that didn’t help him feel much better.  So, when the two young men of the group began to approach, he barely resisted the urge to shoot them a death glare.   As it was, the two idiots seemed to have a moment where they reconsidered bothering the group that was having breakfast.  Unfortunately they appeared to talk themselves out of their moment of clarity and continued on their way to the table.

Raven, who was oblivious to both Manson and the group of approaching twenty-one year olds, simply kept eating until she felt the aura of anger rolling of the man to her left.  Blinking, she raised her head slightly to see immediately what the problem was.  While part of her wanted to intervene, another part of her knew it would be best to let her fiance handle this one.  Sighing, she leaned up in the guise of kissing his cheek.  In reality she was whispering, “Just try not to start a fight?” into his ear.  The only response she got was a slight shift of his mismatched eyes to show he had heard.  He must have put in his contact before going into the main body of the bus.  Latching onto that line of reasoning as a way to distract herself, the ex-artist went back to eating her food as she mulled it over.

The encroaching men seemed to sense something was off, their footsteps hesitating and eventually stopping when they were a couple feet from John’s back.  Soon they began whispering to eachother, more than likely discussing if this was such a good idea or daring eachother to get closer.  With the way the ‘Antichrist Superstar’ was glaring at them, it was a wonder they dared to even come as close as they had.  Eventually, the taller, more buff guy shoved his obviously scared, more nerdy companion towards the table.  This made Manson tense, every line of his thin body tightened as he assessed the smaller man for how much of a threat he was.  “What do you fucking want?” snarled the rocker, every word out of his mouth screaming at the men to just turn tail and run now.

The poor lad could have been no more than twenty-one, pimples left over from his teenhood still dotting his thin face as he shoved his tape bound glasses up on the bridge of his beak-like nose.  In fact, he looked like the kind of kid Manson would have either hung out with or beaten up in highschool.  It was obvious that he was doing this under extreme duress with the way he was avoiding the singer’s eyes and looked back at his ‘buddy’ that had shoved him forward.  The more buff man merely raised a brow and motioned with a hand for him to go on.  Just seeing how obviously coerced the poor guy was raised the rocker’s hackles.  So, when the kid turned to try to stutter that he wanted an autograph, the much taller performer held up a hand to stop him.  “Never mind,” he hissed, slowly getting to his feet as his heterochromic gaze shifted to the other man.  Just seeing the confident expression fade off the probable football star’s face made a vindictive flash of pleasure to course through the singer’s veins as he slowly stalked toward the more broad male.

“I think your friend here is the one who wanted something anyway,” he hissed, a mean smirk curling his black lips.  When the jock backed up a couple steps, the former nerd couldn’t help but feel a faint thread of satisfaction.

Walking forward until their bodies almost touched, the musician gave a false smile that almost appeared to make the tough guy come very close to pissing himself.  “Don’t think I didn’t see you shoving your ‘friend’ there toward us.  What was so important that you would bully someone else into interrupting our breakfast?” Manson hissed, rage tinging his baritone.  When the muscled meathead only stammered uselessly and avoided his gaze like a guilty child, Manson felt a strong urge to just punch his face in.  If caught while doing something you shouldn’t, the least you could do was own up to it and apologize.

“Pro-tip, if you don’t have the balls to do something your fucking self then don’t do it!” snarled the pissed superstar, leaning forward to press his nose against the other man’s.  With a squeak, the musclebound coward ran; leaving his companions behind in a stunned silence.

The poor kid did his best to try to sneak away as well, only to be stopped by Manson shooting out a hand to grab him.  Whimpering, the scrawny man could only shake as the singer drug him close.  Then, to his utter shock, the ‘Antichrist Superstar’ pulled a piece of paper and pen out of his skin tight jeans.  “You wanted it from Raven, right?” he growled, handing the objects to the stunned twenty-one year old.  With a shy nod, he skittered to table; getting a signature from a very amused Raven while Manson watched.  With a murmured thank you, the college kid ran back to the group that had been left behind by the other guy; holding his prize aloft for all too see.

Giggling, the ex-artist craned up to kiss her fiance’s cheek as soon as he resumed his seat next to her.  “That was very nice of you,” she whispered in his ear, nestling into his side as he began to eat once more.  Humming in response, the intimidating man gave her cheek a short peck.

“I can be a good guy every once in a while.  Just know I used up my quota for the next five years,” he warned in a completely serious tone, his blueish white and brown eye glittering with a faint playfulness before he turned back to his food.

Smiling Raven went back to her food as her mind replayed the scene over and over.  Having been picked on by people like beefcake, it did her good to see him turn tail and run like the piece of shit he was.  On top of that, it had been Manson to do it; no doubt being a victim of bullying himself throughout school.  It had both been vindicating and arousing, leaving her with a pleasant tingling deep inside her lower body.  Eating the rest of her breakfast, she watched the group she considered her family laughing and joking with eachother.  All at once, she was struck with just how fleeting this could all be.  Manson’s band was well known for changing members a lot, this bunch having stuck with him the longest.  If any of them decided to quit, she honestly had no idea how she would react.  It had been bad enough when Twiggy had bailed long before she had ever met Marilyn.

As she continued to mull this probability over in her head, the conversation faded to the background and her body took on automatic functions.  She even got up to follow them onto the bus, heading to the couch like a zombie to sit down.  Pogo, Ginger, Jeordie and Manson watched her closely, seemingly sensing something was bothering her.  In fact, the four of them pulled aside to have a quiet conversation about who should approach her first.  The former guitarist ended up insisting on talking to her one on one, something his ex-boss seemed less than enthused by.  Unfortunately, when he approached her, she was so deep in thought that she nearly jumped to the ceiling when he sat next to her.  Then she was flinging her arms around him as if she was afraid he would disappear, confusing the three standing near-by even more.  Even Tim and John were beginning to become concerned, coming to stand with the others as Amanda came to stand by her husband.  “Raven, wha...?” he began only to be stunned to silence when the woman simply broke into tears.

“Don’t... don’t ever leave.  None of you,” she whispered, her face burrowing in the effeminate male’s chest.  She didn’t see the utterly gobsmacked expressions that crossed over the other’s faces.

“Why would we?  We’re a family here.  Yeah some people have come and gone but...  I don’t think any of us really wanna go anywhere,” Pogo assured, moving to wrap her  into a hug.

“What on Earth brought this on?” Manson whispered, moving to kneel in front of her.

“I just have this horrible feeling that things have been going far too smoothly.  That something terrible is going to happen,” she whispered, looking up at the two men in front of the couch with a scared expression.

“Nothing is going to happen, none of us are going anywhere,” Jeordie husked, giving her a tight squeeze.  The singer on the floor opened his mouth to agree but shut it again as the same dread began to fill him.  Something was coming he could sense it.  Something devastating.  All he could do was hold onto her as tight as he could and hope they would both get through it.


	9. Downside of Fame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: ‘You think your nighttime world is closed to me? Your mind is so naked. A book that yearns to be read. A door that begs to be opened.’ - Pinhead (Hellraiser 3)

The smoke settled around her as the lights shined and the band behind her wound down on the song she had just finished.  Manson was in the back, preparing for the next number.  After a few more concerts, the performer had wanted to change up the list a bit just for variety.  He had chosen to replace a few of his songs with some of his old favorites.  In his absence, she found herself feeling an encouraging lack of anxiety.  That was, until her eyes scanned the crowd and she saw something that made her blood freeze in her veins.  It was just a brief flash but it was more than enough to make her do a double take as well as take a step back from the stage.

For just a few seconds, she could have sworn she had seen her two exs standing in the front row.  Miah had almost looked shocked while Tony had seemed downright murderous.  In the next instant, they were gone; almost as if they had never been there in the first place.  Licking her suddenly dry lips as her heart lurched, she tried her best to shake off the feeling of impending dread as the lights flickered and the smoke from the last song settled.  As her audience began to cheer and hoot she knew her fiance has shown up on his makeshift stilts as familiar, mournful keyboard music began to play.  “Today I'm dirty and I want to be pretty.  Tomorrow, I know I'm just dirt,” he hissed into the mic attached to his helmet as he approached her like some thing that had crawled up from the bowels of the Earth.

“Today I'm dirty and I want to be pretty.  Tomorrow, I know I'm just dirt,” she repeated, belting out the last line as the music swelled.  Then they began to circle eachother, her eyes occasionally moving to look at the mob beneath them as she moved.

Manson, of course, noticed her unease and moved a bit closer; looking a bit like a strange spider as he bent down to lock his mismatched eyes on hers.  His shaved brow crinkled slightly as his painted lips pursed, looking like he wanted to say something but continuing the performance instead.  “We are the nobodies.  Wanna be somebodies,” he growled, a venomous sneer on his disguised face that contradicted the worry shining in his eyes.

“When we're dead, they'll know just who we are,” she returned, her eyes flicking to the crowd occasionally as she tried to catch a glimpse of one or both her exs.  She was vaguely aware of her fiance repeating the previous line as he circled her like some beast.  Almost mechanically, she repeated her refrain to it.  Then he was moving away to leer at the gathered people below the platform.

“Yesterday I was dirty, wanted to be pretty.  I know now that I'm forever dirt,” he hissed, shifting as the still nervous female moved to stand by his side.

“Yesterday I was dirty, wanted to be pretty.  I know now that I'm forever dirt,” she sang out, allowing the last line to extend and fade as she fought to hang onto her sanity long enough to finish.  If she could get through this, she was gonna have a stiff shot of whiskey.

“We are the nobodies.  Wanna be somebodies,” she continued in a soft whisper, switching places in the chorus with him.

“When we're dead, they'll know just who we are,” the performer intoned, looking out into the crowd with her as a muscle began to twitch in his gaunt cheek.  It seemed he had caught on that she had spotted someone but it was unlikely he knew who.

They each repeated their lines, circling eachother again before he moved to almost block her from view.  Mismatched eyes seemed to assess her before he continued in a much softer tone than before.  “Some children died the other day.  We fed machines and then we prayed.  Puked up and down in morbid faith.  You should have seen the ratings that day,” sighed the rock star, tensing slightly as he seemed so see something out of the corner of his eye.  Craning her head around him she could sworn she saw two familiar figures darting toward the door that would lead backstage.

Instead of descending into panic like she very much wanted to, the rising singer repeated the line; both of them going back and forth on the chorus until it ended.  It was then they became all too aware of sounds of a struggle coming from the side of the stage Amanda was hidden on.  The sound of dropping instruments soon came from behind them and Manson began to swear heavily as he struggled to free himself from the homemade stilts.  Seeing that the band was heading to protect her friend, Raven moved to help unstrap her trapped fiance.  An endeavor that took several, agonizing moments.

In a rush, the pair were heading to the left side of the stage as soon as his feet were on the polished surface.  Behind them, they could hear the crowd mumbling with confusion as security moved out.  All manner of terrible things played out in Raven’s head as she ran, each more horrifying than the last.  By the time they got there, she expected Tony and Miah to be in the middle of assaulting a person she had been friends with since Kindergarten.  Instead, to her immense relief, she saw a wall of burly security as well as the band in a protective wall around the expectant female.  If anything had happened to her, the former freelancer would have never been able to forgive herself.

Shifting her gaze to the knot of uniformed men blocking the entry from the side, she felt her blood go cold as her gaze landed briefly on a familiar, goateed face.  Her sight was soon blocked by a blue clad body but it was more than enough to allow one of her exs to notice she had seen him.  In the last second she had seen him, she saw him raise a brow before turning slightly.  Feeling sick in the pit of her stomach as her heart pounded, Raven ran to the band surrounding her childhood friend.  She was unsurprised the curly haired journalist broke free as soon as she got close, the slightly shorter woman wrapping her into a hug that nearly crushed the life from her.  “Are you alright?” the pair asked at the same time, giving eachother a shocked look before bursting into laughter.

It wasn’t from the situation being funny or anything, more like an innate need to let out some of the stress.  Unfortunately, a scuffle from the left brought an abrupt end to the hilarity and Raven felt the old fear return as she turned her head to look.  She didn’t want to but it felt like a pair of hands had grabbed the sides of her face and was forcing her to turn her head.  The pit of her stomach dropped out as cold fear washed over her when she saw Tony doing his best to make his way around the line of muscled guards.

All at once, memories of her time with him filled her; flashes of the abuse she had suffered vividly dancing before her eyes.  It was almost like watching some twisted parody of the horrifying events, her ex turning into a terrifying caricature of himself.  Not that her mental version of herself fared much better, turning into a shadow of how she really was.  The only thing that snapped her out of her memories was his voice calling to her, his blue eyes glaring at her with insane rage.  “You think I’m going to just stop trying to find you?  To stop trying to ruin your life?  You don’t deserve any of this you cheating cunt,” he screamed, his face red and a vein standing out in the side of his neck from his extreme anger.  Miah, on the other hand, simply stood placidly and observed the situation.

In a split second, her line of sight to the two men was cut off by her current fiance as he placed himself in front of her.  Ignoring the screaming and scuffling from behind him, the singer bent to give her a long, sweet kiss; one of his hands coming up to caress her cheek.  “Don’t pay them any mind.  They don’t exist for any of us,” rasped his baritone as he began to firmly lead her to the group that was surrounding her closest friend.  As they moved, she felt him brush off tears she hadn’t even realized had leaked from her eyes.

“You’re just like your father!  All you did was take without giving anything back!  This isn’t over, I refuse to let you get away with doing this to me or Miah!” came a scream followed by the sound of a body hitting many others.  Flinching, Raven ignored what was happening and continued forward; allowing herself to be enveloped in the arms of the entire band.

A struggle soon ensued but the men around her just comforted her as they kept both her and Amanda within the circle of their bodies.  The journalist was also soothing her, wrapping her arms around the shaking woman and just hugging her.  Soon the yelling was fading, eventually disappearing to leave the soft murmuring of her confused audience.  Those sounds too were soon disappearing, the large crowd slowly filing out as the group made their way to the tour bus.  As they moved, the wall of band members remained pressed tightly against both women; Ginger keeping a hand on each female while Manson led them along.

Once they were in the large vehicle, the door was closed and locked; Tim revving up the engine before practically stomping down on the gas pedal.  As soon as the band had dispersed from their protective ring around them, the two females sat on the couch; Amanda already going pale from the motion of the vehicle.  Just seeing the shift prompted her husband to fetch her a glass of seltzer water as well as some dramamine.  Taking the glass gratefully, the journalist took a sip with the pill; closing her green eyes as she prayed for the nausea to go away.  Raven was faring no better, tears still flowing unconsciously down her paper white cheeks while her entire body shuddered.

Glassy, hazel eyes stared straight ahead sightlessly as she went slack, memories overtaking the shaking form on the couch.  All at once, she found herself back in a house she hadn’t even thought about in several years.  White walls loomed around her as a too familiar futon bed formed.  On it was her dog and to the left was an ancient tv/entertainment center combo.  It was one of those from when cable was just becoming a thing but wood paneling was still considered the height of fashion.  Tony’s father had it first and had passed it down to his son, the old thing following them from the previous rental home to this one.  With her boyfriend in jail at the time, it had been a bitch to move the tv up the stairs.

A creaking outside the door broke her from her strange musings and she spun to see her sullen lover slowly slink in.  The reek of beer and cigarettes rolled off him in thick waves as his watery, red tinted, azure eyes rose to lock on hers.  Shrugging out of the light camo jacket he wore, the seventeen year old ran a hand through his brown, shoulder length hair before making his way to her.  Her heartbeat in her ears as she predicted what he would say before he opened his mouth.  He was about to start subtly breaking her down like he used to before things started to get bad and it always started with the smallest of nitpicks.  It wasn’t much, just enough to make the needle of guilt spike into her heart.

Before he could say the lines she already heard in her head, the girl that used to be Meagan Starling snapped back to the present.  At first she was disoriented, not quite knowing where she was or who she was looking at for a few seconds.  Then the sobs started as she found herself enclosed in strong arms and a familiar scent.  Nuzzling into a bony, scarred chest, she clung to this figure as if they were her lifeline; vaguely aware of someone demanding a phone.  In a blur, she became aware of a change of atmosphere as the person carrying her settled on a large bed.  A plush she recognized even in this strange state was placed in her arms and she hugged the beloved toy as the figure began to rock her.

Slowly coming back to herself, she realized where she was and who was holding her.  “B-brian?” she whispered, snuggling Kathy as her cheek rested against his chest.

“You’re safe Meagan, no one here is gonna harm you,” whispered a soft rumble that did wonders for relaxing her.  Within moments, she was cognizant enough to remember just what had caused her upset in the first place.

Clearing her throat as embarrassment replaced the paralyzing fear and confusion from earlier, the ex-artist tried to pull away from the rockstar; only to have him tighten his hold on her and let loose what seemed to be an instinctual, protective growl.  It was almost as if he was thoughtlessly reacting to someone trying to take her from him, making her feel all the safer.  Stilling instantly, she simply allowed him to hold her as one of his hands moved soothingly over her ebony hair.  “How many more stops do you have,” came an urgent whisper as his hands roaming her head and back began to shake.

“Quite a few but those ones don’t really want me there.  There have already been protests about my performances in those towns.  I don’t think any of those venues would mind if I called them and cancelled,” she replied, knowing instantly why he was asking.  Seeing her exs had rattled her as well and she desperately wanted to get back to the mansion and Johnny.  If they had found her, they might have found the actor as well.

While she had no doubt that he could take care of himself, she would feel much better once they were back there to back him up.  There was also the fact that she just plain wanted to go home and hide.  Pushing back against the protesters who probably outnumbered her fans sounded far too exhausting on top of everything that was happening.  She just wanted to go home, allow her pregnant friend to rest and just decompress.  Pulling out her phone, she made a few calls while Tim drove toward a near-by rest area.  It would only be a matter of time before they knew if she would be cleared to cut her tour short.

Johnny laid in a room right by the one Raven shared with Manson, Jonathan Davis having chosen a room further down the hall.  While he had appreciated the rockstar’s company over these past few months, he would feel much better once everyone was home.  Especially a certain female he loved with every part of his heart.  It had been a long few months, feeling more like a year.  He knew there was no end in sight but he just wanted to hold her so badly.  Her absence was slowly driving him mad, a fact her dog seemed to sense.  Lady had been his constant companion, lying with him and following him in general.

Sitting up, the dark haired thespian stretched and yawned; startling slightly when he heard an engine come awfully close to the mansion.  Pulling sleeping pants over his naked lower half, he headed out into the hall just as the door on the ground floor sounded like it exploded inward.  Taking a deep breath and heading toward the top of the stairs, Johnny was peripherally aware of Davis sticking his dreadlock covered head out of his door and swearing heavily.  “Th’fuck was that John-o?” the metal singer husked out in a sleep muzzed voice as he stumbled out of his room while still naked.  His brown eyes were dazed but his stance spoke of someone ready to fight no matter what their condition is.

Shaking his head for silence, the celebrity motioned for his friend to follow him down the stairs.  If it were thieves or Raven’s exs, hopefully the rocker’s nudity would be enough to drive them away.  However, as they got closer to the ground floor, the voices filling the house became more familiar and a mixture of mortification as well as excitement filled Depp.  Then, before he could stop him, Jonathan was darting the rest of the way down.  “Aw shit, Jonathan did ya forget you were...,” the star began to call only to hear the shrill, violated scream of Amanda.

“...naked... fuck,” he finished, sighing as he made his way down to greet the group.

It had all seemed so normal when they had gotten home.  Granted it had taken a few days but that didn’t stop the feeling of contentment that washed over the group as a whole.  Bending down to greet Lily, Raven’s only warning had been a yell from Johnny as well as a familiar call of, “Raves!”  Then she found herself enveloped in a very warm, very naked male body as Amanda’s scream of violation filled her ears.  Looking up, she saw the grin of Jonathan Davis as well as the livid glower on her fiance’s face.

“I didn’t think ya’d be back so soon,” the oblivious lead singer exclaimed, picking the shocked female up to swing her and therefore making his flacid bits sway in a horrifying manner.

“Aaaaa!  That’s worst than Pogo!” came a disgusted protest from a certain journalist, her opinion making the enthusiastic male stop as realization came over him.

Instead of getting embarrassed; the mustached rocker shrugged before putting both hands on his hips, jutting them forward and waggling his dick around for emphasis.  “Yeah, its a beaut alright,” he sighed, an arrogant smirk on his pale face.  Manson, who looked about ready to kill him, broke into snickers as he shook his head.  All tension left his body and he was moving forward to gently pull Raven to his side.  Wrapping a loose arm around her slightly pudgy waist, the ‘Antichrist Superstar’ seemed unable to keep from smiling as his fellow musician put on quite a show.  None of them noticed Johnny come up from behind.

Watching the scene play out, the actor allowed himself to take in the smiling woman clad in black.  She looked happy, playful and full of life.  Yet, there was the faintest hint of fear clinging to her hazel eyes.  Clearing his throat to draw attention, he waited until the others had turned to see him before making his approach.  To his delight, Raven rushed to him with an enthusiastic cry of his name; almost knocking him over as she plowed into him.  Arms wrapped around his neck as a hot body pressed against his, heated pecks landing on his tanned face and travelling to his lips.  When she finally kissed him, the thespian remembered what heaven was and closed his eyes as his own arms enveloped her.

A voice in the back of her head screamed at her for kissing this man when her fiance was only a few feet away but she summarily ignored the tiny vocalization.  She only broke the kiss when she need air, resting her forehead against his as elated sobs shook her body.  She had missed him more than she had realized and just seeing him, smelling him had opened the dam inside her.  A warm chuckle was the star’s response to her enthusiasm, large hands pressing to her back as his eyes shifted to a point over her shoulder for a brief second.  It was at that moment that she realized he was asking Manson for permission for something.

Seemingly getting approval, warm lips covered hers; the goatee surrounding them tickling her milky skin.  “Mmmm, I’ve missed you too sweetie,” husked his soft baritone against her mouth.  One of his hands moved up to cup the back of her head as he angled his dark haired head to deepen the kiss.  As his tongue swept over hers, the rising rock star became aware of a secondary heat pressing against her back.  Breaking the liplock to turn her head slightly, a flush heating her body when she saw the almost predatory gaze of her lover.  His mismatched eyes were slightly dilated and sparkled with an inner mischievousness that made her nervous.

Before she could ask what he was planning on doing, he too was taking her lips in a heated embrace.  The he was releasing her to nip her neck, one of his hands giving her ass a hearty squeeze.  Catching on, Johnny released his own rumble; pressing against her as he nuzzled the other side of her neck.  It was only a clearing throat that stopped the display, making Raven realize she was still downstairs and everyone had seen what had happened.  Hesitantly turning her head, she saw Amanda pinching the bridge of her nose as she clamped her eyes shut.  The reason for the writer’s embarrassment became apparent when her gaze shifted to the lead singer of Korn and saw his state of arousal.  Noticing where everyone was looking the rocker covered himself, said a quiet excuse me and scampered upstairs.  This sight would have been hilarious if it weren’t for the frightening vocalization that bubbled out of Manson’s chest.

It sounded more like something an angry guard dog would utter rather than a human and Raven felt herself freeze as a palpable aura of danger began to roll of the superstar holding her.  Next thing she knew, both she and Johnny were upstairs and in Marilyn’s room; both of them looking equal amounts of stunned as they watched the peeved male pace.  His jaw jutted as his mismatched eyes sparkled, his platforms clunking loudly on the carpet.  The actor that had gotten dragged along opened his mouth to say something but shut it just as quickly when he sensed the energy pouring off his friend in thick, almost electric waves.

The intense rage filling him was incredible, the likely cause the slight glimmer of fear he had felt when he had seen just how turned on Davis was by his intended.  It made his blood boil and set his teeth on edge, making him want to both cause damage and make a claim on his woman that everyone would find impossible to ignore.  Shifting his focus to the star that had been inadvertently brought into this, Manson was a bit surprised that he didn’t feel nearly the same amount of anger or jealousy.  Maybe it was because he had been friends with the man for so long or maybe he just trusted Johnny so much.  Whatever the reason, he didn’t mind this man doing anything intimate with Raven and he couldn’t bring himself to care about the contradiction.

Said actor, only felt confusion and the slightest bit of apprehension.  He both felt like he should be here as well as just plain awkward.  Surely his longtime acquaintance hadn’t meant to drag him along.  Slowly edging his way to the door, he tried to draw as little attention to himself as possible.  Maybe if he left quietly enough, he could get away unscathed.  “Going somewhere?” came a purr that stopped him in his tracks, his head turning slowly as if it was connected via a rusty hinge.

“I just wanted to give you guys some time alone...?” Johnny whispered, the last of his statement ending in a questioning tone.  When Manson only grinned in a rather predatory manner and motioned him forward, the actor had to fight the extreme urge to simply bolt.

Still, something in his long time pal’s mismatched gaze called him and he found his feet carrying him toward the pair despite himself.  As soon as he got close enough, the other man’s arm shot out to drag him closer.  In fact, the singer yanked his lean body to his side.  Both he and Raven made surprised sounds as the superstar gave him a downright mischievous smirk.  “I wasn’t blind to how she greeted ya.  If I’m gonna share her, its only fair you show me a little affection as well,” husked the much taller male, his head lowering towards Depp’s; making the actor’s heart triphammer as realization dawned on him.  Before he could protest or even react, lips descended on his as the rocker’s tongue swept into his mouth.

Depp froze, dark eyes wide as his hands spread open by his side due to shock.  It wasn’t that he wasn’t attracted to the man, he had always had a passing curiosity about if he was everything the groupies seemed to think he was.  It was just extremely sudden and a bit awkward with Raven watching.  Shifting his eyes slightly, he saw said female was brick red and her jaw was slack as she watched them.  Raising a brow and smirking slightly, he began to return the kiss with a bit more fervor than Manson expected; making the rocker take a small step back.  His arms wrapped around the other man’s upper back, one hand coming up to cup the back of the musician’s head.

Raven could only stand there as she tried to reconcile just what she was seeing unfold before her.  All the fuses in her brain seemed to overload at once, leaving her able to do nothing as the two men began to well and truly make out with eachother.  In fact, they seemed to be putting their all into it just because she was watching.  Something she honestly wouldn’t be surprised by given what she knew about Manson.  Moving toward the pair, she simply settled for enjoying the show.  She could worry about what the rockstar had up his sleeve later.  Besides, she was fairly certain she was going to enjoy whatever he had planned, no matter how embarrassing it was.

Slowly, the pair pulled apart; two pair of eyes landing on her as identical chesire grins appeared on their faces.  As one, they parted to open opposing arms so they could envelop her in their circle.  As soon as she was close enough, they closed in as they each nuzzled a different cheek.  Manson moved down to nip her neck while Johnny teased her ear, both smirking when she whimpered at their attention.  “You know, you may have a bit of a point Bri.  I really should be showing you both equal amounts of affection to prevent jealousy,” husked the actor as her fiance chuckled, nibbling a part of her neck that made her knees go weak.

“I couldn’t agree more,” came the rasped reply as a hand fondled her right breast.

“Especially when the results are....,” came a sigh as a tongue laved over her racing pulse, facial hair tickled ever so briefly before the pair worked to undress her in tandem.

It happened so fast, she had no time to feel shame or even realize she was naked in the first place; two eager mouths on opposing nodules.  Twin jolts of electric need shot right to her core, clenching there almost painfully while their tongues swirled.  Without knowing how she got there, Raven found herself laying the bed; both men hovering over her as she tried to catch her breath.  Faint tingles danced across her pale skin due to their assault, drawing soft coos from her as her vision cleared.  Manson smirked at her with hunger filled mismatched eyes while Johnny simply gave her a look of utter adoration mixed with intense lust.  “So enticing,” the singer sighed, finishing the sentence from earlier as he captured her mouth in a heated kiss while Depp continued to suckle her breast.

Between the two of them, she soon found herself dangling somewhere between heaven and hell as her body became sensation.  Her nerves were on fire, each touch sending all new sparks of pleasure directly to her womb.  Her voice begged them to let her cum and never stop as mouths moved over her quivering flesh.  She had lost track of who was who and just moaned out names at random, not caring if she credited the correct person.  Fingers stroked, teeth nipped and finally a mouth met her junction while the other mouth busied itself with a breast.  Back bowing, she felt small explosions go off inside her as the pair brought her to completion.  Instead of continuing, the two men simply cuddled her as she fell asleep; whispering sweet nothings into her ear.


	10. 'Family' Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: ‘Lightning is but a flicker of light, punctuated on all sides by darkness.’ - Loki (Thor/Avengers)

Light snoring and two warm bodies that smelled of man, that was how Raven started her days for a week now and she still found herself feeling slightly confused by what was happening.  Of all the things she had expected when she got home, initiating what felt like a threeway relationship with Johnny Depp certainly hadn’t been on the list.  Hell, it hadn’t even been within her realm of possibilities and yet here it was.  Some part of her was extremely confused while the rest of her seemed to be taking a firm stance against questioning a good thing.  Turning her head, she took in just how happy the actor looked and found herself smiling just slightly.

As strange and sudden as the arrangement was, she really couldn’t bring herself to feel too much wrong with it.  The two men obviously loved her as much as she did them and they were both very devoted to making sure she was taken care of and safe.  While most of her heart would always belong to the singer on her left, she conceded the fact that some of it very firmly belonged to Johnny as well.  As long as Manson didn’t become jealous, she saw no reason why this arrangement couldn’t work out in the long term.

So, deciding to just accept what her fiance had initiated, the ebony haired femme rolled to wrap her arms around the slumbering thespian; allowing her lips to brush his muscled pecs.  Moaning softly as he inhaled deeply, the taller male stretched languidly before one of his arms wrapped loosely around her slightly chubby waist.  “Mmmm, morning.  Did you sleep well?” came a sleep muzzed mumble from somewhere above her head, the sound of him making her giggle slightly.

“Morning yourself.  I slept great, when you guys finally allowed me to get any that is,” the former freelancer chided with a light swat to his left pectoral.  This warranted a warm chuckle from behind her as the taller, thinner rock star shifted.

“Why waste time sleeping when there are much more fun activities to participate in,” came the rasp of his baritone behind her ear, the slight growl clinging to the tone causing pleasant shivers to run through her skin.  Then soft kisses began to land under her earlobe, travelling down to her collarbone and making her laugh due to the ticklish feeling they gave her.  That mirth soon turned into a moan when he gave the junction of her neck a firm bite.

“Didn’t you guys get enough over the past few days?  I don’t think we’ve left the bed for more than a few hours this week,” Raven groused playfully, squeaking when Depp rolled to fondle her right breast with his corresponding hand.

“Never,” the pair sighed in unison before looking up at eachother and grinning slightly.  A silent communication seemed to pass between the two celebrities before they were craning over the woman between them to begin making out.

Effectively sandwiched between the pair, the stunned femme could only watch with her mouth hanging slightly open.  It wasn’t just a quick peck, it was a full on french kiss, the two men obviously enjoying the act as their tongues moved almost lazily.  She was only brought out of her stupor by hands slowly roaming her body as they moaned into eachother’s mouths.  Gasping as a thumb brushed her nipple, Raven shuddered as she became painfully aware of the erections pressing against her on either side.  To make matters worse, she was beginning to get turned on by the noises they were making.

Suddenly they were breaking their embrace, Manson giving Johnny a meaningful glance before releasing the former artist to putting a little distance between them.  Moving his brown eyes down to lock on her hazel ones; the singer looked briefly nervous before reaching to cup her cheek, leaning forward place a loving kiss on her lips as well.  “Would you like to watch us hun?” he whispered against her lips, an unasked question hanging in the background of his spoken words.  Realizing he was asking for permission to have sex with Johnny in his own way; Raven went beet red before giving a stunned nod, her greenish-brown eyes wide with shock.

The only response she got was an impassioned kiss, the rocker’s tongue sweeping into her mouth as he held her to his thin body.  Then he was releasing her, giving her a heated look before looking over her head at the man behind her. Squeaking slightly, the flustered woman skittered from between the two men; sitting on the end on the bed and looking unsure of where to go.  “Lay here sweetie,” cooed Depp as he moved into the space she had left, leaving room for her to lie beside them.  Gulping audibly as a shudder of nervous lust shuddered through her, Raven gave a small nod before complying; watching as the muscled actor moved to straddle her fiance.

Marilyn whimpered softly, arching his hips into the tanned thespian above him; his body almost a shocking white in comparison.  The goateed star only chuckled in response, leaning down to nip the other man’s neck with a low growl.  This caused the normally domineering rocker to moan almost pathetically, his breath coming in soft pants as he turned his head to look at the woman next to them.  He looked more vulnerable than she had ever seen him, almost afraid that she would leave during what was about to occur.  Giving him a small smile, she reached across to him; leaving her hand on the sheets with the palm upwards.  The goth rocker took the appendage with a grateful smile before returning his focus to Johnny.

The actor had been watching the exchange with soft expression on his handsome face.  From what he had learned about Brian over their long friendship, this behavior was highly atypical.  The singer was usually in charge, dominant and just plain overwhelming.  This man craning up shyly for a kiss almost seemed nothing like his long time friend.  “Brian... are you...,” he began to ask, interrupted by needy lips on his own.

“Yes, yes I’m sure, I’m okay, I’m whatever you need me to say to continue this.  I want this, I  _ need _ this.  Please, you don’t know how exhausting it is to always have to be the one in control,” came a desperate plea, the truth that came forth explaining the scenario very well.

“Alright, Bri.  I think I understand now.  Still, the last time I’ve done this was when I was a teenager.  I may be a bit rusty so you’ll have to tell me if I’m doing something wrong,” the star whispered, bending down to give his friend a passionate kiss.  Manson moaned into his mouth in response, his erection rubbing against the inside of the actor’s right thigh.

Raven watched the scene, spellbound as she felt her lover’s fingers twitch around hers.  Slowly, she became of a slightly musty but not unpleasant scent filling the room as Johnny moved to nip over the rocker’s bony body.  When he stopped to give the ‘Antichrist Superstar’s erection a kiss, she came to the realization she was smelling their building arousal as well as her own.  “Pleeeeease,” came out of her tough idol, his thin chest heaving as his dark haired head lolled on the pillow beneath it.  His thighs shuddered in the actor’s hold and the goateed male let out a low chuckle as he licked slowly up the erection resting on Manson’s stomach.

Drinking in the soft whimpers Brian was letting loose, Depp closed his eyes as he took the singer’s sizeable cock into his mouth.  The thick appendage twitched as he applied suction, moving slowly up and down as the man below him began to moan.  Bony hips moved shallowly as a pair of hands came to tangle in his shoulder length hair, massaging and pulling gently as he increased speed.  Soft pleas escaped the rockstar, his fingers twitching on the actor’s scalp as Johnny swirled the sensitive tip with his tongue.  He only stopped when he felt more insistent tugging on his hair, almost seeming to beg him to look up.

Slowly pulling off the erect shaft, the thespian gave a low purr before reaching for the nightstand close to the side of the bed.  Pulling open the top drawer, he took out a small bottle of lube and squirted a generous amount on his fingertips; his eyes shifting briefly to the woman lay beside them.  She had the most pleasant flush over her porcelain skin, her vibrant eyes watching every move he made raptly.  Giving her a downright evil smirk, he returned his gaze to Manson; bending to kiss his way down the shuddering performer’s almost emaciated body.  As he reached the man’s twitching erection again, he began to play with the tight pucker between the rocker’s legs with slickened fingers.

The ‘Pale Emperor’ let loose a low cry of pleasure mixed with pain, his hips shifting to allow better access as his head rolled to face Raven as well.  It seemed both men sought to reassure themselves that she was okay with all of this and he found his internal question by her leaning forward to brush his fingers with her lips.  Then Johnny was breaching his ring of muscle, making him groan as heavy waves of lust rolled through him.  He had wanted something like this to happen with the actor for a very long time, making this experience all the more pleasurable for him.  If he had been in his normal state of mind, he would have been ashamed of the sounds escaping him as the fingers inside him explored.  As it was, however, he only cared about the sensations flowing through him.

Soft moans, whimpers, groans, sighs and pleas filled the room, dark eyes glimmering as skilled digits searched for something deep within the silken passage.  A certain spot that would make the squirming ‘God of Fuck’ see stars.  Then he found it, the small bump that was the prostate.  Just the briefest brush made the ‘Antichrist Superstar’ mewl like a kitten, asking in a breathless keen for Johnny to just fuck him already.  Grinning, the star removed his finger to lift Manson’s hips; squeezing some lube into his hand to rub along his erection.

Once he was sure his member was slick enough, he placed the tip against the small sphincter before slowly moving forward.  The feeling of the tight passage opening around him drew a ragged gasp from his lips and he had to stop before hilting so he wouldn’t cum prematurely.  Muscles tense and twitching in his forearms, Depp grunted as he tried to regain control; doing his best to ignore just how good the other man felt around him.  Then a hand was landing on his upper back as a pair of legs wrapped around his lower back, forcing him in to his root and drawing a shuddering noise from deep inside his chest.  “Ffffuuuuck Bri,” slipped from him as his entire body shook from the sensation of tight walls pulsing around him.

Licking her lips as she felt her own arousal cover her like a warm blanket, Raven rolled onto her back as just a tiny bit of apprehension fluttered in her chest.  What she was about to do would have been out of the question for her just a matter of months ago.  Now she found herself feeling just a hint of excitement for them to discover what she was doing.  Taking a deep breath and twitching her right hand around Manson’s, the former artist snaked her hand down her slight paunch to the rim of her black pajama pants.  As her questing fingers entering her cotton panties and headed toward her heat, she heard an almost musical yowl from Manson as the sound of something slick became very apparent.

Rolling her head slightly, she saw a sight that took her breath away and caused a cramp of lust to coil around her womb.  Johnny had his head down, his jaw tensed as his ebony hair hung in his tanned face.  His muscled hips moved with a deliberate purpose, sometimes slow and teasing and other times hard and driving.  The writhing rocker below him was mewling affirmations as his hand tightened around hers almost reflexively.  A fine sheen of sweat covered both males as they moved, the sound she had heard earlier being the actor moving in and out of Manson’s passage.  Groaning at the vision beside her, Raven felt her hips jolt upward as her fingers finally met her aching womanhood.

Whimpering quietly, she watched the pair beside her avidly as her fingers began to expertly work her slit.  Soon she had a rhythm going, her digits moving in time with Johnny’s thrusts.  Every so often, she would play with her clit when Manson let out a particularly loud moan but she left that part of her alone for the most part; wanting to cum when the two men did.  From the sounds of it, it wouldn’t be much longer.  Sure enough, the rockstar was letting out a breathy sigh; cum spurting free of his twitching member as Johnny went eerily still.  This was enough to prompt her to achieve her own peak, her vision filling with stars as she became aware of eyes on her.

Feeling a tug on the hand that still held Marilyn’s, Raven allowed her limp body to be pulled closer; humming softly when familiar lips landed on her cheek.  “Mmm, I see a certain someone enjoyed that as well,” rumbled a baritone from above, making her giggle as she cracked open an eye.

“You kidding?  Its not every day I see Manny bottom,” came out of her, her eyes going wide as she clapped a hand over her mouth.  Silence followed, both men looking at her with unreadable expressions.

Just when she was starting to feel afraid she had offended them, she heard a warm chuckle bubble up from Manson.  This was soon followed by Johnny and soon all of them were laughing hysterically as the actor carefully extricated himself from his friend.  “Indeed, I’ve never seen it before now myself,” he confessed, giving the man below him an affectionate kiss.  Then he was crawling onto the bed behind Raven, resuming his previous spot as he allowed himself to kiss her covered shoulder.

“That’s cause I don’t have the urge all that often.  I get the feeling you don’t bottom too often yourself Johnny,” yawned the smug sounding singer as he rolled to envelop his fiance.

In a room far down the hall, an entirely different story was playing out.  Unable to drown out the sound travelling down the hall, Amanda stared at the ceiling as she tried to decide if things would be any better downstairs.  Ginger’s room was almost near the end of the hall and yet that wasn’t enough.  Turning her head, she saw her husband dead asleep; his acne scarred face relaxed and free of make-up.  Sighing, she rolled to face the musician; just a hint of nervousness fluttering inside her.  They’ve barely been married and she was already three months pregnant.  Were they really ready to be parents?  What kind of upbringing could this child have living in this madhouse?

Wrapping her arms around her beloved’s waist, the nearly thirty year old woman nuzzled the sleeping drummer’s nose; melting on the inside when he subconsciously wrapped his thin arms around her and kissed her cheek.  His warmth gave her the feeling that things would turn out okay, the beating of his strong heart even helping to deafen the moans from down the hall.  With any hope they would be done soon and she would be able to scamper past their room before they started up again.  Nothing was more awkward than walking past their door and hearing a loud moan from your friend you’ve known since Kindergarten.  Just thinking about it made her want to squirm in mortification.

Brushing it off as best as she could, the journalist kissed her lover on the cheek before getting out of bed to change her clothes.  As much as she wanted a shower, she knew she couldn’t waste the precious opportunity to get some food into herself.  So, as soon as she got her jeans and t-shirt on, the curly haired femme scampered down out into the hall toward the stairs. She had just about made it to the top when she heard not so friendly knocking come from the front door.  Blinking, she found herself confronted with three choices.  She could ignore the knocking and go downstairs, she could answer the door by herself or she could go back to get the back-up of her husband before answering the door.

Before she could make any decisions, another knock came at the same time a hand landed on her shoulder; nearly making her fly to the ceiling.  Spinning on her heel, the journalist saw Ginger just inches behind her.  “Sounds like we have a visitor.  Go get Manson and the others, I have a feeling this isn’t going to be pretty,” the drummer ordered, his voice a gruff growl from just waking up.  In fact, he was only half dressed; wearing only a pair of pink pajama pants.  She would have laughed at his choice of attire if she weren’t so horrified by what he had asked her to do.

A strange noise invaded the fog of sleep, sounding like knocking coming from downstairs.  Sitting up, Raven blinked as she tried to make out if there was really someone at the door or if she was having a dream.  When she heard a repetition of the same sound as before, she felt her heart jump in her chest.  Instinctually, she shook the men sandwiching her before scooting to the foot of the large bed.  Just as her feet touched the carpet, a knock came from the door to their bedroom.  While her gentle shaking hadn’t been enough to rouse the pair, the soft sound of knuckles on wood certainly did.

Manson was the first one out of bed, moving to the door while Johnny moved to block the former artist.  As soon as the entry opened, the trio relaxed when they saw Amanda.  Unfortunately for the writer, both men were still very naked.  As such, Raven got a very interesting show.  At first, all the color drained out of her long time friend’s face.  Then it came back, starting out pink and rapidly deepening to a crimson.  For a few seconds, the amused singer thought steam was going to come out of the poor woman’s ears.  “I heard some knocking,” the black clad femme offered as Depp scampered to the bed to grab a pillow.

“Y-yeah, someone’s at the door.  Ginger is dealing with it and would like some back-up,” her kindergarten companion replied, seeming to do her best to keep her gaze on the other woman across from her.

That got the two celebrities moving, Johnny tugging on pants as Manson made his way to the door with his dick still flopping freely.  It was only his fiance grabbing his wrist that stopped his movement and he turned his head to face her with a raised, shaven brow.  Sighing, she loosened her grip just slightly before motioning to a pair of jeans puddled on the floor.  “At least put on some pants.  It might be my mother for all we know,” she requested, not liking the grin that curled his lips at the suggestion.

“And how is that supposed to be a deterrent?” the rocker asked, mischief clear in his raspy baritone.

“Because it’ll only make more grief for me in the long run,” Raven sighed with an exasperated expression as Johnny snuck by behind her, grabbing Amanda on his way past.

The stunned reporter was secretly extremely grateful for the star’s intervention and even said so as she found herself lead down the stairs to meet Ginger.  Thankfully, he hadn’t opened the door yet; wanting the back up of at least Manson before he even thought of turning the deadbolt.  Still, when she saw him she ran for him; flinging herself at him full force as she wrapped herself around him to assure herself he was really alright.  “Mandy, please go in the living room and wait there.  Don’t interfere no matter what you hear,” rumbled a soft, pleading baritone in her ear; making faint indignation blossom inside her chest.  Giving him a glare, she only melted slightly when she saw the puppy eyes the bleach blonde was giving her.

“Fine but only because I’m pregnant,” she hissed, not liking it one bit as she moved off to the sidelines.  As soon as she was in place, the knocking sounded again; making everyone tense as they heard a pair of footsteps come rushing down the stairs.

Thankfully Raven had managed to get the Manson to put on pants before coming down, much to the rockstar’s irritation.  In fact, the super star was glowering as he made his way to the door; motioning for his fiance to keep a safe distance as he placed his hand on the cold doorknob.  Unfortunately for him, the woman behind him had no reason to do as he said; stubbornly pressing up against him as he unlocked the deadbolt and turned the metal sphere.  Sighing but making no move to dislodge her, the superstar swung open the door to reveal a rather small, thin, mousy looking woman.  She was a bit shorter than the stunned woman staring at her, her hair done up in some ill advised 80’s do.  Before anyone could say anything, the bone thin woman rushed into the house to nearly tackle a certain ex-freelancer into her arms.

Blinking, everyone seemed unsure how to react; with the exception of Amanda.  Not fooled for a second by the burst of affection, the expectant journalist peeled the older woman off her long time friend before placing herself between them.  “Hello Mrs. Starling,” she hissed, her voice holding a harsh edge as she folded her arms in front of her.

“Mandy, why are you keeping me from my daughter after so many years?  I finally found out where she lives after all this time and you won’t even allow me to hug her,” the woman wailed before dissolving into some rather over dramatic tears.

“We all know that’s not why you’re here.  You came here because you either wanted to ‘save’ me from my life of immorality or you wanted to ty to get in contact again.  After how you treated me, I really don’t want anything to do with you,” Raven whispered, moving to stand beside Amanda to level a firm glare at her mother.

“Meagan, I’m hurt.  You’ve made me into this demon in your mind.  If you would only see reason and just come with me...,” she began, only to be cut off by an absolutely animalistic snarl from behind her.  When she whirled around, the older female found herself nose to pectorals with an extremely pissed off rockstar.

All the color immediately drained out of her face and the matriarch took a quick step back as her eyes went wide.  Raising his upper lip, the much taller male closed the distance; his hands twitching by his side as he seemed to be almost considering hitting the woman.  “You dare to imply that she’s here against her will?  You have no clue all the shit we’ve been through just to fucking be with eachother!  You...,” he snarled, stopping mid-tirade to close his eyes and take a deep breath; his brown eyes moving to Johnny.  Said actor, who had been standing beside Ginger to observe the happenings, nodded and stepped forward with a surprisingly neutral expression given the situation.

The handsome male gently grabbed the smaller female’s upper arm, smiling when her head snapped in his direction.  Then recognition blossomed over her features and her jaw dropped open as a pink flush colored her tanned cheeks.  “Ma’am, I know you probably mean well but I can assure you that Ra... er, Meagan is very happy here.  Maybe if you calm down a bit, you can come back and try to get to know us.  Right now, I think we should diffuse the situation,” Depp purred, leading her to the door without her even noticing.  After his speech, she was even nodding with a starstruck expression.  Once they got to the door, the older female was leaving of her own volition; giving an almost shy wave to her daughter before closing the door behind herself.

As soon as she was gone, an invisible tension left the small group still standing in the entryway.  Then, as if on cue, there came the thunderous sound of footsteps rushing down the stairs.  Both Raven and Amanda went even more pale than they normally were before sprinting into the living room to grab a decorative pillow each.  Just in time too, as the small hall was soon filled with four very naked band members.  In unison, the closely aged pair raised their pillows; making identical violated sounds.  This made most of the band halt to look at themselves with a mixture of realization and mortification.  Unfortunately, it only seemed to egg on a certain keyboardist.

Raising his brow, Pogo placed his hands on his hips and began to pelvic thrust.  This, of course, made his flaccid penis sway back and forth in an almost hypnotic manner; his balls hitting his hairless thighs with meaty sounding slaps.  “Christ Gacy,” Ginger groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose as he moved toward his fellow musician.

“Whaaaaat?  Can’t I give the boys a good airing out?” the mohawked menace chirped, looking extremely pleased with himself while the others slunk back upstairs to put some pants on.

Johnny could only sigh softly, moving toward the women as Manson stomped towards his crazy keyboardist; grabbing the man by the back of his neck and dragging him up the stairs.  This, of course, made the mischief maker giggle all the way; everyone that had remained downstairs simply shook their heads in an exasperated amusement.  “I fear the day we actually get used to that,” Amanda groused as she allowed her husband to take her into his arms to plant a kiss on her forehead.

“We all have,” the drummer offered, his words offering no comfort and instead making them shudder.

“I know it doesn’t sound comforting now but trust me, you won’t come to mind so much,” he continued as he gently encouraged his wife toward the dining table.

Raven only scrunched up her face and rubbed her arms, knowing the bleach blonde was right but not really wanting to admit it.  “I don’t even want to think about it.  Christ, why can’t Cali just legalize pot already,” she grumbled, shaking her head as she went into the kitchen.  She didn’t notice both Johnny and Manson follow her.  Thinking she was alone, she walked over to the counter near the fridge, gripped the ledge with her hands and braced her arms as her entire body began to shake violently.  At the moment, a myriad of memories flowed through her brain with disturbing clarity.  All the times her mother made her feel worthless, unloved, unwanted and a bit like a welcome mat that was meant to be stomped on.  Needless to say, when she felt two pairs of arms wrap around her she very nearly shot right to the ceiling.

Whirling around, she found her two lovers giving her identical looks of concern as well as understanding.  Letting out a ragged sob, she rushed into their open arms; breaking into tears as she let out years of feeling like she just wasn’t worth anything.  It was so loud, it drew the others from the living room as well as upstairs; all of them staring from the doorway as if at a loss for how to help the woman.  It was only Manson shooing them away with a wave of his hand that made them eventually leave, Amanda being especially reluctant to go anywhere when her friend was in so much pain.

After what seemed like an eternity, the tears tapered off into nothing; soft hiccups coming from the overwrought female on occasion.  “She’ll be back,” whispered a soft, scared voice from somewhere in the vicinity of a certain goth rocker’s chest.  This drew a snarl from the rather intimidating singer while the actor to his left made a soothing sound.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.  Let’s get some food into all of us and try to relax for a bit,” rumbled a gentle baritone as the thespian gently lead the still frail female back into the dining area of the living room, helping her sit at the table as Twiggy moved into the kitchen to cook.


	11. Honeymoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: ‘Why resist? You love this as much as I. After all, you made me. There is a world out there, waiting to yield to us. So much flesh, so many different pleasures.’ - Pinhead

She knew she was being unreasonable but she was only five months along!  She was perfectly alright to travel, especially to some place as close as a cabin in the mountains.  Besides, she really didn’t think a few weeks away with her husband was too much to ask for, especially with the fact this was supposed to be her Honeymoon.  “Ginger, please.  We aren’t even flying there!  The doctors already gave their okay,” Amanda pleaded, green eyes drifting to her amused friend for help.

Raven, who was snuggled up against Johnny as he read only smiled before getting to her feet slowly, stretching as quiet piano music filled the Living Room.  “I agree.  While you’ll be up in the mountains, its not as if its going to snow soon.  Also, if the doctor’s say its fine it should be safe,” the dark haired femme reasoned, doing her best not to snicker at an increasingly defeated looking Ginger.  The drummer had his heart in the right place but he was being just a bit over protective.  Manson, who was the one currently playing around with the piano, simply rolled his mismatched gaze and shook his head.

“None of that helps me feel any better.  Things can go bad so quickly.  But, I suppose you guys have a point.  I guess we’d better get packing then.  We only have a few more days to get ready for this,” sighed the obviously worried musician, running an unsteady hand through his bleach blonde locks.

Suddenly Ginger was being shoved forward, having been tackled by an over-enthusiastic and very naked Pogo.  “So, decided to keep the reservation after all?  What about all the whining you did last night?  Christ, me and Fiver thought you were never going to shut up,” the crazy keyboardist teased, giving the slightly shorter man under him a noogie.  Behind him, a very exhausted Tim and John 5 stumbled down the stairs.

“How many times have I asked you not to call me that,” grumbled the still mostly asleep guitarist, his normally well groomed hair hanging in a messy tangle in front of his face.

Before Gacy could answer, there was another voice from further up the stairs.  “About a million times but he hasn’t listen to you yet,” purred the amused baritone of Jeordie, said male soon reaching the bottom of the stairs as well.

“Not gonna start now either!” came the cheerful reply of the keyboardist, accompanied by the loud sound of Ginger’s back cracking as he pulled the other man’s torso upward slightly.  It wasn’t hard enough to hurt him but it it sound like the percussionist had temporarily turned into a bendy straw.

“Please don’t break my husband in half,” Amanda chided, wishing she could just jump in but not daring with her pregnancy.  Once this baby was born, however, all bets would be off.

Giggling, Raven only rolled her eyes before wandering over to her own fiance and whispering something in his left ear.  Humming, the taller male kissed her knuckles before closing the cover for the piano keys and getting to his feet.  “As I recall, they aren’t the only ones who have to get ready to go somewhere,” came an amused reminder, stopping the shenanigans just as Pogo was getting ready to wrestle with his unfortunate victim.

“Yeah, yeah.  Ya paid us to skedaddle for a while too.  We already packed,” the mohawked menace groused, getting off the drummer and drawing a strained groan from the poor man.

Then the group was heading to the kitchen, Pogo oblivious to Manson face-palming in annoyance.  The others simply followed, giving their leader varying looks of sympathy before making their own breakfasts.  Raven and Amanda, on the other hand, had dissolved into raucous laughter; the pair collapsing onto the carpet and leaning against the longer of the two couches.  Even Johnny looked vaguely amused, a slight smile quirking his goateed mouth as he locked eyes with his friend and current lover.  “Mmm, Brian didn’t you tell us they were going off to some retreat to become a more cohesive group,” the thespian inquired, a dark brow raised as he fought to hold in his own mirth.

“As if you guys ever bought that shit excuse in the first place,” the performer pointed out, exasperation clear in his voice as he slid his palm down his pale visage and pulled a disgusted face.

“You’re right, we didn’t,” the curly haired journalist chimed in as her best friend continued to howl with laughter beside her.

“Its just a different thing entirely to hear it put out in the open so bluntly like that,” Depp pointed out, a small chuckle slipping out despite himself.

At first, Manson looked like a volcano about to blow its top; his paper white face going red as his hands curled into tight, shaky fists by his sides.  Then his entire frame was slumping with acceptance, a strange relaxation seeming to wash over him as an unreadable mask slammed over his face.  Walking forward, he rolled his hips in a way that both spoke of danger as well as sensuality and effectively putting an end to the mirth.  With the exception of one person.  Raven continued to laugh, unphased by the danger filling the atmosphere.  In fact, she only laughed harder as he got closer; almost seeming unable to help herself.

As the ‘Antichrist Superstar’ closed the distance and began to bend toward her, Amanda made an instinctual movement to protect her long time companion; only stopped by a hand on her shoulder.  Rough bristles of facial hair rubbed her soft cheek as cologne filled her senses and made her feel a bit faint.  “Leave it.  He would cut off his own hand before he hurt her,” came a reassurance mixed with an order, making her turn her head to see Johnny giving her a look full of a seriousness she had never seen.  His strong jaw was tense, dark eyes almost seeming to be bottomless pits as he kept them locked on hers.

Turning her head toward the couple, she watched as Manson kept leaning toward her laughing friend; an almost evil smirk on his painted face.  Reaching down, the intimidating male grasped her chin and tip her head up so she was looking at him.  While Raven was still laughing, the performer bent to whisper something in her ear that made her shudder despite the giggles currently trickling out of her.  Then he was kissing her, making Amanda flush slightly as she looked away from the pair.  Yet, despite her apparent embarrassment, the journalist had a small smile on her pale face.

It wasn’t too long after that guilt followed and her brow crinkled ever so slightly as she slid onto the couch beside Depp.  After all the time she had spent watching the pair, she should really know better.  She and Manson had been getting along quite well, even snarking playfully at eachother more often than not.  A wave of shame washed over her and she averted her gaze to the gentle swell of her stomach.  It wasn’t that she didn’t trust him, her reaction had been purely instinctual.  She hadn’t even had the time to consciously think, her body moving before her mind engaged.  Although the need to protect her childhood friend had long since past, it had been ingrained in every fiber of her being.

A loose arm wrapped around her shoulders just as the band came back from the kitchen, Amanda going quite an interesting shade of red when her husband saw the position she was in.  It certainly didn’t help when the thespian whispered in her ear, his warm breath making her shudder.  “You have to try to learn to let go of your protective instinct.  You have no need to shield her anymore, least of all from any of us,” he murmured, straightening to nod at Ginger.  Blinking, the drummer simply shrugged and moved to sit on the other side of his wife.

The pair on the floor were oblivious to the conversation, continuing to kiss until the singer pulled away with a low rumble.  His body language, as well as the heated expression in his mismatched gaze, told her exactly what she was in for when Ginger and Amanda left.  On top of that, their own wedding was coming quickly and she found herself feeling more than just a little nervous.  While she was quite sure she wanted to spend the rest of her life with this man, a very public marriage was a whole other matter.  Not only could wedding crashers be pretty much guaranteed but her mother already knew where she was.  It was only a matter of time before the media storm that was brewing about their engagement announcement brought others to her door.  People she wasn’t necessarily ready to face again.

Her mother had already found her, it was a miracle she hadn’t been found by her father or her exs.  When the wedding did happen, she shuddered just to think about it.  Flashes of memories flashed before her eyes while echoes of voices rang in her ears.  Three in particular stood out, swirling into a mass of images and sensations that nearly rendered her catatonic as her breathing began to speed up.  Before she could descend fully into panic, a pair of warm lips met hers and effectively snapped her out of it as Manson scooped her into his arms.  “You’re safe.  I have you.  Nothing will happen on the day of our wedding,” rumbled his baritone in her ear as she tried desperately to slow her breathing.

Oblivious to the others in the room, the former freelancer burrowed into his bony chest; whimpering quietly as she slowly calmed.  The journalist on the couch next to theirs watched with a mixture of helplessness and a deep desire to comfort.  It was very hard for her to accept the fact she wasn’t needed at the moment and it was best that she leave the pair alone.  So, with a smile to Johnny, Amanda leaned into Ginger and did her best to ignore what was going on.  It helped that it sounded like Raven had fully recovered but was still a bit shaken up.  If the rising singer had been thinking about what she was assuming, she truly couldn’t blame the fragile woman one bit.  Her newfound fame would bring a lot of attention, a wedding being a particularly juicy bit of news.

To be honest, this was one of the reasons why she chose a location so close to where Manson lived.  It would only be a half day drive, so she would be close if there was an emergency.  She would always feel an extreme protectiveness for Raven and would try to be there but, just maybe, she could let go enough to allow the woman’s fiance to take over full on protection.  “We can get ready to leave after we eat.  We’ll make sure the clowns follow suit,” she found herself saying, her statement effectively breaking the tension due to how outlandish it was.  In fact, everyone was now staring at her.

Swiping her black hair behind her ear, the timid artist pulled free of the singer holding her to wander over to the couch and hug her best friend.  She knew there was more behind those words and felt a rush of happiness rise within her.  “Thanks Mandy,” she whispered, tears of joy clogging her throat.  Thin arms wrapped around her as her companion returned the embrace, the others in the band coming into the room with their food at that moment.

“Call me if anything bad happens, okay?” whispered the curly haired writer as she fixed her gaze on the small group that was now staring at them with some amount of curiosity.

Then the pair were separating, Manson taking Raven’s upper arm to lead her into the kitchen to get her own breakfast.  Johnny and Amanda watched, identical smiles on their faces as the others took whatever seats were available.  Unfortunately for John 5, Lily had other ideas; shooting into the chair he was heading toward and giving him a glare as her tail twitched irritably.  This made the room burst into hilarity, the sound of laughter fading into the background for the couple in the kitchen.  It seemed that dragging her into the small room was a clever pretext to get her alone, the much taller singer pinning her against the counter as mismatched eyes burned into her soul.

A strange fluttering started in her chest as she stared up at him, her breath coming in short pants as he bent down to her level.  His short cropped hair hung slightly in his left eye and the scent of him flooded her senses, making her lower body clench pleasantly.  “I’m glad they’re deciding to leave a bit early.  I’m not sure I could wait the few days.  We’ve never had real alone time.  Even Johnny will be leaving for a bit,” Manson murmured, his eyes burning with lust as he brushed a lock of her inky hair out of her face.

“E-even Johnny?!” the stunned woman gasped out, her heart dropping into her stomach at the thought of being truly alone with the singer for a few weeks making her more than a little nervous.

It wasn’t that she didn’t trust him after all they had been through, far from it in fact.  She was still a huge fan girl who found this man more than just a little attractive.  He had a talent for making her feel flustered as well as hot and bothered in those small moments they managed to get some privacy.  There was also the fact she would more than likely be putty in his hands, an intimidating prospect for anyone.  She didn’t know if she was looking forward to it or if she was utterly terrified.  A slightly rough hand grasping her chin brought her back to reality with a slam.  Two slightly angry, different colored orbs glared at her, filled with an anger and jealousy she hadn’t seen since Jonathan Davis had taken her on tour.  “Did you  _ want _ him to stay?” he hissed, his fingers tightening almost painfully.

“Of course not Mare.  I’m just... nervous.  I mean, I’m still a fan girl in a lot of ways.  The amount of power you could have over me while alone is frightening to think about,” she replied quietly, wrapping her arms around his thin waist to pull him closer.  Burrowing her face into his bony chest, she allowed his scent to relax her.

Within moments, the performer was releasing her face to envelope her in his own arms.  “Oh Raven...,” he sighed, sounding sympathetic and apologetic at the same time.  Then every muscle in his bone thin body was going stiff as he let out a dark chuckle that sent a chill scampering down her spine.

“I know,” rumbled out of him as he pulled back to take her lips in a possessive, passionate kiss that made her toes curl.  All too soon the much taller male was breaking the embrace to rest his lips close to her right ear.

“I look forward to exploiting each little thing I have learned about my biggest fan,” rasped his lust laden voice before he was moving away from her to begin making breakfast for them both.

Raven could only watch, not noticing Amanda in the doorway of the kitchen.  The curly haired journalist had a strange smile on her face as a hand rested on the gentle swell of her belly.  She had gotten curious about what was taking the pair so long and had caught some of their conversation.  From the sounds of it, she was doing the right thing.  So with a quiet giggle, the curly haired female went back to the living room to prod the rather large group into action.  If she was lucky, she could get Pogo upstairs and packing with little to no fuss.

As the former freelancer watched her lover cook bacon she couldn’t help but smile just a bit.  While the earlier confrontation had frightened her just the slightest bit, she had trusted him entirely not to take things to far.  This knowledge made her want to sing with elation due to the fact it signified she had gotten over the incidents in the past.  She no longer felt any fear of him, just a lingering nervousness any fangirl would have when faced with being left alone with her idol for the first time.  To be honest, the pair hadn’t really had much chance to just talk; to be with one another beyond sexual escapades.

She would have a chance to see more of the man behind the make-up, someone he didn’t show in front of his band.  It was only the sounds of shuffling coming from the living room that snapped her out of her reverie and she found herself going to the doorway before she realized she was moving.  She was immediately greeted with the sight of the band, Amanda and Johnny getting up and gathering their dishes.  “We’ll be setting off soon.  Have fun Megs,” the pregnant journalist chirped, giving her a wave before setting the stacked dishes on a corner of the coffee table and herding out the various musicians before her.  Raven could only blink in response before moving toward Johnny and looking up at him.

The goateed thespian looked down at her with a soft smile on his bronzed features.  Then, without warning, he was pulling her into a hug and pressing a kiss to the top of her head; letting out a soft sigh.  “I want you to enjoy yourself with Brian.  I’ll be back before you know it,” he murmured holding her tightly, as if afraid to let her go.  With everything she knew about the thespian, Raven found it safe to assume his reaction was due to actual fear he would be kicked out of the odd relationship they had.  He had carried unrequited affection for her for quite some time, it was only natural he would be nervous about being shoved into a less intimate position again.

As much as she desperately wanted to reassure him that wouldn’t happen, she couldn’t speak for Manson.  The singer was usually unpredictable, often leaving her in the dark about what he was going to do.  While he seemed fine with Depp now, that could change in a heartbeat.  If that happened, she had no idea how she would react and honestly didn’t want to think about it.  Instead of focusing on things that might never happen, she relaxed into his embrace and returned it as best she could.  “Everything will be fine Johnny.  Just take it easy and be safe.  You may even get more of a chance to work on that movie that studio has been trying to get you to do,” she pointed out, kissing under his chin before backing out of his hold.

For just a second, the actor looked reluctant to even let her out of his embrace.  Then he was putting a smile on his face before bowing and turning to look at someone behind her.  Twisting her own head around to look, she saw her fiance in the doorway to the kitchen; a strangely blank expression on his pale face.  “I’ll miss you too Bri,” Johnny murmured, staying where he was as the goth rocker set the plates on the couch.  Then the much taller, thinner man was closing the distance, passing by Raven to wrap his tattooed arms around a very stunned Johnny.

With the swiftness of a striking serpent, the ‘Antichrist Superstar’ took the other man’s lips in a kiss.  A liplock so intense, it made the female watching flush down to her toes and wonder if she should look away or give the pair some privacy.  One of Manson’s hands came up to cup the shorter thespian’s head as the other wrapped around his upper back to keep him close.  At first, Johnny’s eyes were wide with surprise.  Then he was relaxing, releasing a soft moan as his own hand came up to tentatively play with the goth rocker’s ebony hair.

All too soon, Marilyn was pulling back from the other man; panting lightly as his hands came up to rest on broad shoulders.  “Make preparations to move in when you get back.  You’re part of the family,” the super star declared, his mismatched orbs holding a seriousness neither of them had seen before.

“Brian...,” Depp husked, his voice throaty with emotion.  Then he was clearing his throat, tears standing in his dark eyes as he backed away from the pair.

“I love you both, please take care,” he whispered, turning to walk to the stairs leading to the second floor.  In a matter of moments, he was gone; a faint scuffle coming from above them not too long after.

“How much do ya wanna bet that was Pogo tackling Johnny boy,” Manson teased, his eyes focused on his still very stunned, very speechless fiance.

Raven could only stare at her lover and idol with an expression of utter shock.  Of all the ways she had seen that going, what happened certainly wasn’t one of them.  To see the two men she cared about like that had turned her on more than just a little.   Licking her dry lips, the former freelancer could only nod before heading toward the food Manson had set on the coffee table for them.  By some miracle, none of the animals had touched the food; merely looked at it mournfully from their position on the floor.  Sitting down and picking up her fork, she was stopped from raising the bite of food by a firm hand on her wrist.  Looking up, she saw the mismatched eyes of her famous other half.

Smirking in a knowing manner, the performer planted a kiss on her cheek before taking a seat on her left.  Just as he settled in beside her, the large group of their friends came downstairs; flooding out the front door without another word.  Not even Amanda stopped, the quiet that followed the audible closing of the door almost spooky.  Shaking off the feeling of nervousness that blossomed inside her, Raven dug into the food; more than just a little surprised by how good it was.  A deep chuckle beside her made her jolt guiltily as hazel eyes moved to her right.  “Surprised I can cook?  You can thank Twiggy for that,” rumbled an amused baritone as her gaze locked on the grinning male.

“To be honest, I kinda figured you lived on fast food and ramen,” she confessed, a light blush high on her cheeks as she returned her gaze to her plate to resume eating.  Another chuckle came from the ‘Antichrist Superstar’, the sound of it making her feel warm all over.

“That’s not a bad assumption and is what I had been doing with my original band.  When Jeordie came in, he decided he didn’t want to be the only one who knew how to feed themselves.  Since we were seeing eachother, I became his very reluctant student,” the celebrity to her right recalled.

Images filled her mind at his words, a small giggle bubbling out of her while her dog weaved between her legs in the hopes of getting some food.  “I can picture it now, you bitching at him to just cook you something and him threatening you with a return to ramen,” teased the twenty-nine year old, reaching down to lightly bat her canine companion on the bottom.  Knowing it was a warning, the floppy eared mutt gave a chagrined expression before scooting herself up the stairs to hide under the bed.

“After having his cooking, I couldn’t go back.  So I gave in and allowed myself to learn.  As it turns out, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be,” came a similarly amused response, a black nailed hand patting her upper left thigh.

The rest of their breakfast passed in an easy silence, the two cats staring at them in the hopes of getting a bit of bacon.  The result was a charming occurrence of natural yin and yang.  It was so charming, in fact, that Raven ended up giving them each a single crumb of bacon.  “Just don’t tell your mom I did that,” she whispered gravely to Mystery, scratching behind a black, triangular ear.  The overweight feline only blinked slowly, yawning in her face before waddling off.

“I don’t know why I bother,” she whispered, blinking when her empty plate was taken.  When she looked up, she was met with a tender kiss that made her heat down to her toes.

“Nevermind the cats.  Put something on while I clean up the dishes,” the rock star husked, his simple request making her look at him like he had two heads.

With everything she knew about him, before and after she had moved in, she had never thought of him doing the dishes.  Just the image of him doing something so incredibly domestic came very close to making her laugh.  Biting it back with superhuman amounts of self control, she picked up the remote for the flat screen; watching as Lily hopped up in her owner’s spot on the couch.  The white feline only gave her a bored glance in response, triangular ears flicking back as the noble animal simply looked away again; as if the person beside her was not worth her time.  “You do realize he’s just going to move you when he gets back,” Raven pointed out, even more amused when the prissy pet huffed in response.

“Alright, don’t say I didn’t warn ya,” the former freelancer warned with a shrug before getting down to some serious channel surfing.

After a few minutes, she finally settled on a nature documentary; the sounds of dishes clanking together having long become nothing more than background noise.  As the show about Nikola Tesla began, the cleaning effort in the kitchen stopped; Raven far too engrossed to notice the sudden quiet.  The young inventor had just made it to America after a long journey when an arm wrapping around her nearly made her jump out of her skin.  “Nice choice.  Maybe later we can search Pay-Per View for a movie,” purred a certain baritone, making her instinctually swallow nervously.

Taking a deep breath and telling herself it was only her fiance, the nervous woman turned to give the singer next to her a smile.  “I hope you don’t end up getting bored during our alone time.  I’m not all that interesting of a person,” whispered her timid voice, easily getting lost in the massive living room.  If he hadn’t been sitting next to her, he would have had to ask her to repeat herself.  As it was, the performer was pulling her into his arms; resting his lips in her soft haired as she squirmed slightly.

“I wouldn’t say that.  You have a lot of talents and you’re pretty intelligent.  I’ve never found myself bored when talking with you,” he murmured, chuckling when she turned a bright pink

“I love you silly.  Whatever we do or talk about will be fine,” continued his baritone, his hand resting on her right shoulder and rubbing as the documentary continued.

Raven found herself charmed by how this simple activity seemed to be more than enough for the both of them.  It was the first time she really realized just how normal of a couple they could be.  She didn’t need to be on point or ready to have sex all the time to please this man.  Tilting her head to press a kiss under his chin, the dark haired femme let out a sigh as her fiance took the remote to find something else to watch.  All in all, it was a comfortingly ordinary day.


	12. Sweet and Sour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: ‘My interests and obsessions have always been so wide-ranging that I keep popping my head out of different boxes as much as possible.’ - Tim Curry

Yawning as she stretched in the pair of arms wrapped around her, Raven made a content noise as she nuzzled a bony chest.  A sleepy hum responds from above her, thin arms tightening their grip as their owner lets out a soft snore.  Sighing contently, the rising singer opened her eyes slightly to look at the man she shared a bed with.  His face was slack from sleep, a stream of drool pouring out of his mouth while foul breath filled her nostrils.  Even what was left of his hair was horribly mussed.  Giggling, she wondered what his horde of loyal fans would think of him now.

Kissing the tip of his nose and patting a tattooed shoulder, she flung the covers off her naked body.  Fighting the slight wave of shame that came over her, the dark haired female walked over to their shared dresser to get out some clothes.  Since they had come back from her first tour, both Johnny and Manson had insisted on her sleeping in the nude.  Something about the act helping her to feel less shame about herself.  Sad thing was, it was actually starting to work.  She had been having less hesitation about taking off her clothes or even just seeing herself naked.

Sighing, she shook out a t-shirt before rummaging for other articles of clothing.  Without realizing it, she had slowly been gaining in confidence.  Not too long ago, she would have been a bit intimidated to even think about sharing the same room on a permanent basis.  Now, she couldn’t imagine a night not snuggled up with at least Manson.  It seemed the singer behind her shared this opinion, the soft snoring tapering off as the sheets began to rustle.  “Raven?” husked a sleep muzzed voice as she hooked her bra into place.

“Right here Mare,” she called out into the darkness of the room, knowing he would probably have trouble seeing right off the bat.

More shuffling came from behind her, accentuated by grunts, moans and the sound of bones cracking in a stretch.  “Mnnnnh, th’fuck ya doin’ up so early?” he complained, his voice soundly slightly distorted.  Assuming he was still stretching out after sleep, Raven rolled her hazel eyes before slipping the shirt she had picked over her head.

“I have to start work on my next album.  But, I might have a slight request,” she responded, a nervousness racing through her veins that had nothing to do with her looks for once.  A masculine cry of protest came from the rocker on the bed, making her smile due to how much it reminded her of a spoiled child not wanting to get up for school.

“Ugh, that means I have to get up doesn’t it?  I hate mornings,” he whined while the springs creaked to signal his weight shifting.

“It won’t kill you to be up before noon.  Besides, you’ll like what I have in mind,” the determined woman stated, pulling on a pair of red silk panties.

It was then a pair of hands landed on her hips, pulling her close to the naked, almost emaciated body of her fiance.  A hot breath gusted against the nape of her neck as he seemed to almost lean into her.  “I have no doubt I will but I can think of much better things we could be doing,” purred his baritone, the lusty tone to it making goosebumps break out all over her skin as she shuddered.

“As much as I would like that, I really should at least get some phone calls made,” she responded, sounding truly regretful.  Then she was bending over, pressing her shapely rear against the singer’s crotch as she pulled up her ebony jeans.  He let out a hiss in response, grinding against her a few times before she was pulling the denim over her hips and straightening.

“Though, if we get enough done in a short amount of time, I can’t see why we can’t continue this a bit later,” she continued, secretly stunned at the confidence in her voice.  Spinning on her heel, she took in her lover’s expression before taking his lips in a kiss bordering on seductive.

“Meet me downstairs?” she whispered before backing out of his loose hold and leaving the room.  Manson could only stand there, staring at the space his beloved had been just moments before with his arms still raised.  Then he was chuckling, lowering his arms before deciding to follow as he was.  They were home alone after all and unlikely to have visitors.  Besides they had come far past the stage to be modest.

Already a laptop was opening front of her, a couple of pieces of dry toast sitting on a plate beside her right thigh.  So far all three of the animals had sniffed the charred bread to see if it was edible and all of them had deemed it unworthy of them.  Picking up a piece and putting it in her mouth, Raven opened a music writing program on her computer.  Even with Manson’s help and a bit of knowledge from her days in highschool choir, she still barely knew what she was doing.  Thankfully the program was able to play out the notes she had put in so far, allowing her to know what she was composing sounded like.  With this, it was very easy to put a tune she had only in her head in a physical form and place lyrics to it that went along.

She already had a good beginning going when she caught the sight of something pale and wraith-like making it’s way down the stairs out of the corner of her eye.  Startling slightly, she looked up to see an extremely naked Marilyn Manson making his way to their living room.  Grateful their closest neighbor was miles away, Raven could only gape at him while her heart tried to fall back into a normal rhythm.  “Good grief Manson!  For a second I thought this house was haunted,” she gasped out, doing her best not to allow her gaze to wander below his chest.

“That’s not too flattering but I can’t say I blame you.  I don’t exactly get a shit ton of sunlight,” snarked the superstar, his faux hawk looking more like a rat’s nest on top of his head.

Just seeing it made her snort laughter, any intimidation or lust she had felt flying out the window.  Huffing playfully, the thin male placed both his hands behind his head and began to pelvic thrust.  This made his balls slap obscenely against his thighs, making her completely lose it; laughter pouring from her as she leaned into the back of the couch.  “Just what do you find funny?  Don’t you find me irresistibly sexy?” he chided, his tone joking.

“Normally, yes.  Right now you look a bit like Pogo!” the twenty-nine year old guffawed, tears of mirth rolling down her pasty cheeks as her fiance closed the distance; still waggling his hips.

Once he was close enough, the ‘Antichrist Superstar’ placed his shaven balls on the top of the screen to her laptop and grinned down at her.  “He  _ has _ rubbed off on me a bit over the years,” Manson replied, inwardly overjoyed Raven was laughing so much.  After how much drama they had been through, he was relieved to see she was recovering.  Not just that, she had been actively improving; sassing him and being a bit mouthy when she would have normally been too timid.  It was as if he was finally seeing the personality that had been buried under all the damage her past had caused.

Rolling her green-brown eyes, Raven simply kept composing the tune she had in her head; already forming lyrics in her head.  “When you’re done marking your territory or whatever it is you’re doing there, I would like to ask you something,” she sighed, still smiling despite her stern tone.  A playfully annoyed sighed escaped the singer before the flaccid penis disappeared off the top of her screen before he was moving to sit beside her and wrap an arm around her waist.  Settling in, he cast a slightly judgemental eye on the meager meal she had made for herself.

“Ask away,” he replied, reaching over her lap to snag her last piece of toast.

Raising her brow at the rocker as he bit into the browned bit of bread, the former artist simply decided to just let him have it.  “You know, if you’re going to steal my breakfast you might offer to make me a new one,” she groused, poking him gently in one of his visible ribs.

“That was the idea.  You can’t possibly expect to do any serious work on something like that.  Was that all?” purred the man beside her, earning a light slap on his right arm.

“You know it isn’t, smart ass.  I wanted to ask...  Well, uh...  You remember how well the concert went with the duet?” she asked, starting out confident and ending up sounding meek.  The celebrity next to her only tilted his head to one side before comprehension sparked in his mismatched gaze.

“You want to do a joint album,” he stated, his tone slightly surprised.  Raven flinched slightly, nodding shyly as a blush colored her cheeks.

“I don’t see why not.  You still haven’t really found a band of your own so you’d have to use mine anyway.  If my agent disagrees I can always get a new one,” Manson responded, leaning over to kiss her forehead.  Then he was getting to his feet and heading to the kitchen, taking her crumb filled plate with him.

Staring at him as he left, the stunned female shook herself before going back to work.  Still, the thought of doing an album with a man she had been a fan of since her teen years kept whirling in her head.  Shifting her eyes quickly to make sure her fiance hadn’t suddenly come back, Raven let out a very quiet squeal of excitement.  Despite being engaged and having lived with him for so long, she was still a fangirl.  Hell, she  _ still _ only wore Marilyn Manson tees and she was getting married to the man.  But she just couldn’t help the giddy rush of excitement that was flowing through her at the moment.

Staring at the bacon as it cooked, Manson heard the small celebration his lover was having with herself over his acquiescence and smiled.  When he had first pulled her onto his stage, he had never envisioned anything like this.  He felt comfortable around this woman, trusted her implicitly.  The fact that she had been a pretty obsessed fan at one time had never really bothered him.  If it had been anyone else, he would have just called it good at the concert.  With her, it felt different.  It felt like she had loved him for a very long time and would keep loving him, no matter what.  So far, this feeling had been proven correct time and again.

As he flipped the strips of pork over, he felt a contentment he didn’t think he’d ever be capable of.  In the end, they had helped eachother become better people and he would forever be in her debt.  He had even stopped drinking for the most part, never getting more than slightly buzzed and never doing it often.  He had opened himself up completely, was feeling things he hadn’t in years.  Sliding the food onto the plate, the goth rocker found himself stunned to come to the realization he was happy.  Truly and deeply happy.

Swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat from the intense emotions he was feeling, the towering lyricist exited the kitchen with full plate in hand.  Immediately, his eyes went to the woman who had caused all this and felt his heart swell with love.  Fighting the urge to give the bacon to the dog and just scoop her into his arms, Manson placed the laden dish in front of his fiance’s face.  Starting slightly, hazel eyes moved up to his as a smile that melted his heart bloomed on her face.  “Thanks hun,” she murmured gratefully, taking the food from him.

While she hadn’t been that hungry before, the smell of the cooked bacon made her mouth water as her stomach let out a loud demand for the salty bits of pig flesh.  Picking up a crispy strip, she stuck it into her mouth, chewing as she began to type.  “How do you want to handle the songs?  Do you want to write some and I write some?  Do you want to collaborate?  Or do you just want to sing the ones I write?” she asked, her eyes focused on her screen as she stopped typing with one hand long enough to feed herself another piece.

“We could collaborate on a few.  Mostly, I want to see what  _ you _ can do,” he replied simply, resuming his previous seat beside her.  Lily, who had been dozing on the other couch, hopped off that one to jump into her owner’s lap; purring loudly as he began to pet her.

Wondering if the fur tickled his dick briefly, Raven blushed slightly as she gave a short nod.  While she was a bit surprised, at the same time she wasn’t.  The man beside her wanted to see her succeed with her own music.  If he helped too much, she would never form her own identity in the singing world.  The fact he was willing to give help at all was astounding, now that she thought about it.  “I hope I don’t disappoint,” she responded truthfully, quietly singing the first line of lyrics she had written along with the music to see how well they matched.  Soon she was stopping, her fingers flying over the keys while she made several revisions.

“You haven’t so far,” rumbled a baritone right in her ear, a chin resting on her left shoulder.  Shifting her gaze slightly, she saw Manson reading what she was doing; nodding to himself slightly as he mouthed the lyrics.

“You’ve already got a good start there.  Some refining and that song will be a good hit,” the singer praised, making her feel warm all over.  Then his fingers were gently pushing hers out of the way, making some tweaks to the lyrics that she approved of.

The next few days passed like this, the couple slowly falling into a rhythm of acting domestic around eachother.  Conversation now came all too easy as did teamwork, the pair able to play off one another as if they had been together for years.  On top of that, Raven was acting almost completely comfortable around him.  Every now and again her old nervousness would pop up but it always vanished quickly, to both their relief.  They had also gotten into the habit of just cuddling while she worked, Manson allowing her to lay on him while his arms wrapped around her.

Even now, Raven was nestled in his lap; busily working on a bonus song for the album.  Soft, loving lips pressed against the back of her neck, making it very hard to concentrate.  “You’ve been working so hard on this,” sighed a gruff baritone, callused hand worming their way under her t-shirt to rest on her stretchmarked belly.

“I want to make sure I do a good job, also I kinda have a deadline to work around,” the ex-freelancer sighed, leaning back into the rocker as she closed her laptop.  One of the hands resting on her tummy reached out to take it from her lap, moving it to a cushion beside her right thigh.

“I realize that but you’ve taken almost no time off.  Your deadline is a month from now, why tear yourself apart by worrying?  We haven’t had sex since you started this because you stay up so late these days,” continued the soft, seductive purr, his hands moving up to cup her breasts through the silky material of her bra.  Skilled fingers plucked and played with her sensitive nipples, drawing soft mewls from her lips as her hips began to thrust fitfully.

Pressing his clothed erection into his fiance’s ample ass, Manson smirked when he saw the look of shock and lust that crossed her face.  No matter how many times they did this, her reactions would never get old.  She was still as responsive as when she was as a virgin, her moans irresistible and driving him the intensify his attentions.  Growling, Manson nipped the nape of her neck as he slipped his fingers into the cups of her brassiere.  As soon as the digits met her perky buds, she was tilting her head back to lay on his right shoulder; a soft groan gusting right into her ear.  “You have no idea how much I’ve missed this and its only been a few days.  When I go on tour by myself again I think I’ll go crazy,” he husked out, grinding his erection into her for emphasis.

“Mare... please,” she gasped out, an odd mixture of aroused as well as determined.  She only had a few more lines to type out before this song was finished.  Then again, it was hard to argue with him when he was grinding against her butt so needily.

“Hmmm?  Please what little bird?” rumbled the voice from her childhood, effectively wiping away any further need to do work.

Instead of answering verbally, Raven spun in his lap; her arms wrapping around his neck as she pulled herself close to him.  Then she was giving him a passionate, open mouthed kiss, their tongues clashing almost immediately.  A soft purr was her reward for her actions before she found herself swept up in his arms.  In a blink, they were up the stairs and in their room; his bony frame over hers as mismatched eyes burned into hers.  Gentle hands removed her clothes before his own were shucked, leaving them both naked to eachother’s eyes.  “Gorgeous and all for me,” the singer sighed, reverently running a hand down the slight pooch of her tummy.

Shuddering, the shy woman held onto his forearms so she wouldn’t give in to the temptation to shield her body from his intense gaze.  He was almost looking at her like she was a piece of artwork, making her feel more than a little subconscious.  As if he knew what she was thinking, the thin rocker leaned down to give her a heated kiss; one of his hands playing with her left breast.  Pinching her nipple between his index and middle finger, Manson let out a gruff noise into her mouth before breaking the kiss and taking the pink bud into his hot maw.  Blunt teeth played with her flesh gently, his tongue swirling around the nodule and drawing the most interesting noises from his lover.

Timid fingers wound into his faux hawk as he teased her, pulling away to latch onto her neglected breast.  A quiet mewl was his reward, causing a shudder to roll over his entire frame as one of his hands moved down her body to cup her hot womanhood.  “Marilyn,” whispered into his ear as he continued to suckle on her breast, one of his fingers rubbing along the puffy outer lips of her slit.  Releasing her nipple slowly, a string of drool connecting his lower lip to the rosy flesh, he drank in the sight of the woman under him.

Her pale skin was flushed a light pink and her eyes were heavily dilated, soft pants leaving her as she locked gazes with him.  “Brian for now hun.  I just... I want to hear my real name from your lips to... to see if I like it,” he breathed, waiting until she gave a nod to continue.

“Good girl,” purred the lithe rockstar, two of his fingers sliding easily into her sodden passage.

Raven could only gasp, her arms wrapping around his broad shoulders as pleasure and need burned in her veins.  His given name poured through her lips as if she had always used it, his fingers moving in and out of her mercilessly as he began to plant open mouthed kisses on her neck.  “I need you Meagan,” he groaned, the use of her name startling her badly.  Then she felt him placing his erection at her entrance and all further thought flew out of her head for the burning need filling her womb.

“I need you too.... Brian,” the younger woman moaned out, placing her palms on his back as he moved his hands to hold her thighs open.  Then he was filling her, beginning a dance the pair had performed many times before; soft moans filling the empty room.

In a hotel room not too far away, two men sat in a room; smoking cigarettes as they stared out at the city below them.  A veritable sea of lights and cars stretched out before them but the pair seemed unimpressed, one of them flicking their still lit but over the railing of the balcony.  “Why the fuck do you still want to mess with this?  We both had jail time and I, for one, don’t really want to go back any time soon,” sighed a deep voice from behind the thin figure, making them turn to face the speaker.

“I can’t stand the thought of her fucking Marilyn Manson.  Fuck, just how long do you think this has been going on?!  She could have been fucking him while in a relationship with us,” responded a slightly lighter voice as he moved into the room.

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s likely Tony.  She barely left the house and when she did it wasn’t for nearly long enough to have an affair,” responded the much calmer, deeper voice; a cigarillo flaring to life in the dimness of the room.

“Yeah well you didn’t have to deal with the cunt telling you she’d leave you in a heartbeat for the cocksucker!” hissed the other male, storming over to the light on the nightstand to turn it on.

His goateed partner immediately shielded his eyes, cursing loudly as the other man plopped on the bed beside him.  “I highly doubt she meant it in the way you think she did.  I know as well as you do how obsessed she was with him.  It was more than likely wishful thinking on her part,” Miah grumbled lowering his hand to shoot his boyfriend a glare.  While he loved Tony, this obsession with their shared ex had grown out of hand.  In fact, it had gotten out of hand before she had escaped from them.  The only thing was, he hadn’t told Tony that he had helped her.

In his own way, he had loved Raven very dearly.  Before things had started to go downhill, he had gone out of his way to treat her well.  It was when Tony had begun showing his true colors that things went beyond his control.  While he had loved her, he also loved Tony just as much and found himself in a very awkward position.  In the end, his boyfriend’s treatment of her had gotten so outrageous that he just couldn’t endure her suffering.  So he had helped her escape in the middle of the night, hoping against hope they would never cross paths again.

Now he found himself confronted with the ghost of both their pasts and he was helpless to stop what was going to happen.  Calling the police on Tony just wasn’t an option, not with how much he still cared for the man.  Closing his eyes again while his boyfriend descended into a vicious rant, Miah couldn’t help but dread what would happen next.  Would he be forced to actually commit violence on a woman he still cared about?  Would he lose Tony to the cops?  Either option didn’t sit well with him.

Tony shot him a furious glance, shaking his head as he ran a hand down his face.  “You didn’t hear her man...  We have to teach her a lesson once and for all.  She can’t just get away with...,” began a rant he had heard far too often.

“Get away with what Tony?!  Being happy?  Wanting to move on with her life?  Actually getting into a relationship with the man of her dreams?!  Christ, don’t you think all of this has gone too far already?!” Miah growled, shooting to his booted feet; a grim expression on his goateed face.

“You’ve become obsessed with ruining the life of someone who shouldn’t even matter to us anymore!  We’ve both been arrested once, I got roughed up and you still want to go after her!  This has gone beyond sick Tony!  At what point do you intend to stop?!” he continued, freezing when he saw the black expression on his lover’s gaunt face.

“Who ever said anything about stopping?  I don’t care what you or anyone else says!  She needs to be taught a lesson!  I don’t intend to leave her alone until she’s the pathetic little dirt smear she deserves to be!” snarled the younger man, slowly pulling himself into an upright position to stand toe to toe with his boyfriend.

“Ya ain’t about to chicken out on me are ya?” he growled, Miah shaking his head as he felt scared of his lover for the first time in his life.

“N-no.  I’ll be right behind you.  I just... I think all of this is just going too far is all,” the shorter, goateed male explained.  The maddened man towering over him only let out a bitter laugh, giving his head a sardonic shake.

“No, I think we haven’t begun to go far enough,” Tony snarled, a strange glint in his sky blue eyes.

The couch under her felt so good, especially after pulling three all nighters in a row.  She had been on a roll, refining and polishing the songs she would be performing with her fiance.  The only thing left was to record but she just didn’t have the energy, especially with Manson being unusually amorous.  Over the last few days, between working on songs, they had more than likely had sex on every surface in this house.  The only exception being the rooms that belonged to the others.  Groaning, Raven lifted her head to look at her computer.  There were just a few more little touches she wanted to throw in but she didn’t have any oomph left.  “You still awake?  I was hoping our last round would at least make you pass out for a while,” grumbled a baritone from the entry to the living room.

“Can’t sleep, things to do,” she grumbled, her words slightly slurred as she struggled to sit up.

“Raves... sweetie...  You can’t keep going like this,” sighed the singer, his blurred form moving closer as she swayed in place.

She could only stare up at him blearily, giving a stubborn shake of her head.  “Know tha... godda jusss do a lil more,” slurred out of her, her eyes more closed than open.  The taller, thinner male merely put his hands on his hips, rolling his matching eyes.  Without warning, he was scooping her up; chuckling as she gave a truly pitiful protest.

“Nooo, jusss nee’ lil longerrrr,” whined the twenty-nine year old, flailing listlessly a couple times before going limp and pouting.

“I’m afraid you no longer get a choice in the matter.  I can sympathize, believe me.  I have also stayed awake for days at a time when in a creative flow.  But you’re obviously exhausted.  You need some rest,” the performer rumbled, kissing her temple as she nestled into his bony chest.  Mumbling something incoherent, she gave her head another shake; soft snores already leaving her.

Humming quietly, the ‘Antichrist Superstar’ readjusted his hold on the stubborn woman; shaking his own head and rolling his eyes skyward.  Soon he had reached the room they shared, laying his precious burden on the silk sheets.  Cuddling up beside her, he began to quietly sing ‘Coma White’; feeling a small stab of affection when she curled into him and seemed to slip into a deep sleep.  Just the fact this song still brought her comfort made him feel elated, his arms wrapping around her as he finished off the tune and watched her sleep.


	13. Coming and Going

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: ‘Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever.’ - Dr. Frank-N-Furter (Rocky Horror Picture Show)
> 
> I had to take five days to visit family. I hope things will be back on track from here on out.

After how much work she and Manson had put in, it was hard to believe the album was done.  Especially given how often the man had distracted her with sex.  Each track they recorded together seemed to be an excuse for him to just bend her over and have his way with her when they were through.  She had to go through each of the songs just to be sure none of their sexual escapades accidentally made it out into the public.  She was just grateful that nothing had been found in the review of the tracks.

Sighing with satisfaction as she awaited the response of her agent, she felt a slight pang as she realized Amanda and the others would be back soon.  It wasn’t that she hadn’t missed her friend as well as the odd family the band had become but she had honestly come to enjoy the quiet time she had been having with Manson.  The only thing she was really looking forward to was Johnny being back.  With him being part of the relationship, she had missed the actor almost as much as she would have missed the singer and was eager to have him in her arms once more.  From the looks of it, the goth rocker felt the same way.

While being cuddly, near the end of their time alone together he had started to act antsy.  Every so often he would look up at the door, like an excited puppy expecting the return of its master at any moment.  It was honestly adorable and she had no doubt he’d be just as happy to see the actor as she would.  Even now, with her firmly seated in his lap and his arms wrapped around her, he kept looking at the door every now and again; letting out a subtle sigh before placing his chin back on the top of her head.  Smiling, Raven decided to have a little fun with the performer.  “Missing Johnny?” she teased, giggling when he growled at her.

Kissing under his chin to soothe him, she patted one of the hands resting on her pudgy tummy.  “Its okay sweetie.  After all, he  _ is _ your boyfriend,” she purred, her laughter turning into a squeal as he gave her neck a quick nip in retaliation.  Then he was sighing in defeat, letting out a small chuckle as his hand moved under her shirt to rest on her bare skin.

“You’re right, I do miss him.  Its kinda strange.  Never thought I’d honestly be able to love two people at once, let alone one,” he confessed quietly, resting his cheek against hers as if he was seeking comfort.

Nuzzling the singer, Raven hummed in agreement as she nodded.  “I’m surprised you even suggested Johnny be in the relationship in the first place.  You don’t exactly seem like the type to share,” she pointed out, flinching slight when the celebrity holding her let out a gruff, possessive noise.

“Cause I’m not.  Not normally.  Anybody else tries to get in your pants and I’ll kill ‘em.  Johnny’s... different...  He... he took good care of you when I couldn’t be there for you despite the fact he had no real obligation to go as far as he did.  He’s also been there for me for a lot of hard shit,” Manson murmured, his hands twitching slightly on her belly.

Lily, who had been curled up beside the pair, gave them a disdainful look as she yawned; stretching before hopping off the couch and sauntering over to Lady.  It appeared the regal cat had grown bored with the conversation they had been having, staring at the mutt that was sleeping peacefully in a sunbeam.  Wanting to call out to the cat to get her to stop, Raven knew it was a lost cause before she had opened her mouth.  No matter what she did, Lily White would continue with what she had planned.  Something that would more than likely disturb the unsuspecting canine.  Even Manson was watching, a slight smirk quirking one corner of his mouth.

Sure enough, the spiteful felid was smacking the dog on the nose; causing Lady to jolt awake with a startled yip.  Upon seeing the white terror so close, the black mutt had an immediate and rather amusing reaction.  Tucking her curly tail between her legs, she scampered up the stairs to hide under the bed; acting like the hounds of Hell were right on her butt.  Staring after the canid with utter disgust, Lily licked one dainty paw before curling up in the spot her would-be rival had been sleeping in.  “That cat...,” Raven sighed, her tone holding more exasperated amusement than any real anger.

“I swear, she gets that from you,” the former artist chided playfully.  Manson only beamed at her in response, his hand slowly travelling up to her ribs without her noticing.

“Well, I  _ am _ her daddy after all,” rumbled his baritone, a mischievous spark in his matching eyes.  Then he struck, his fingers moving rapidly over the delicate skin covering her ribcage.

The reaction was immediate, Raven practically melting out of his lap as laughter began to pour out of her.  Flailing at him uselessly, the young woman begged him to stop; tears of mirth already streaming out of her eyes and down milk white cheeks.  “S-s-st-o-op!” she begged, doing her best to squirm away from the assault but finding herself trapped between him and the coffee table.  Huffing out laughter, the rocker stilled his fingers; snaking out his tongue to lick her tears from her skin.

Making a shocked but amused noise, the former free-lancer scooted away from her lover; rubbing where his saliva sat.  “What’s gotten into you?” chuckled her unsure voice breathlessly, her heart leaping slightly as Manson slid onto the floor to crawl after her.

“What?  Aren’t I allowed to have a playful side?” husked his throaty voice, a predatory glint in his eyes as they continued their odd game of cat and mouse across the carpet.

Feeling slightly nervous but no less exhilarated, the twenty-nine year old giggled nervously in response; startling when her back hit a wall and she was effectively trapped.  Smirk turning into something that took her breath away, the superstar let out a sound that almost sounded like a soft growl as he pulled himself up into a position hovering over her.  His brown eyes were now dilated and his tongue slowly lolled out to lick his lips, making him seem like some large predator getting ready to devour his next meal.  “Mmmmm, seems you’re trapped.  What’s my little kitten going to do now?” husked out his deep voice, something dark shining in the depths of his chocolate colored eyes as he lowered himself so their foreheads touched.

Letting out a shaky sigh, she reached up to wind her fingers into the short hair on the back of his neck before pulling him down so their lips met.  Just as their tongues touched, the pair heard a throat clearing and sprung apart like two teens caught in the act by their parents.  Looking at who had interrupted them, the couple shot to their feet when they saw Johnny.  “Hope you don’t mind that I came back a little early.  Though it looks like I interrupted something,” the actor sighed, an amused expression on his goateed face.

Before he could react, the pair were enveloping him in a hug.  Raven was nestled into his muscled chest as close as she could get while her fiance had him in a tight hold, tattooed arms shaking.  “I take it you missed me too?” the thespian murmured quietly, happy tears crowding his throat as he wrapped his arms around the couple.

“What do  _ you _ think?” Marilyn gritted out, his own voice thick with emotion.  Then his mustache crowned lips were taken in a fierce kiss, a tongue forcing its way into his mouth when he gasped in shock.

Frozen for a few moments as the other man softened the embrace, Depp cautiously returned the kiss.  Raven, who was still holding onto the movie star, could only watch as she felt desire begin to awaken in her lower body.  Still, she felt like she was witnessing something meant to be private and began to pull away.  All this resulted in was the actor tightening his grip on her and looking at her out of the corner of one eye while he continued to make out with her fiance.  It almost seemed like he didn’t want her to be too far away even while he was obviously being seduced by the singer.

Breaking the kiss with a breathy hiss, Manson gave Johnny a soft grin with half-lidded eyes before his gaze was moving to Raven.  As if sensing her sudden discomfort, the much taller male bent to give her a kiss as well; his tongue sweeping into her mouth as he let out a quiet groan.  “Nothing that happens between me and Johnny is ever meant to be private, understand?  We  _ want _ you here,” whispered an urgent voice against her lips before he was straightening to allow the two to have their own greeting.

Looking from the handsome star to her fiance, Raven felt a slight bit of apprehension as she reached up to kiss the second man she was in a relationship with.  Depp sighed softly, his arms wrapping around her as his tongue begged her for entry.  Opening slightly, she met him as he entered her mouth; the taste of him nearly overwhelming after such a long separation.  While she had expected to miss him, she hadn’t expected this ravenous need when he had come back.  This hunger to hear his moans while she used the feel of his skin to reassure herself he had really come back home.  “You missed me too, it seems,” husked into her mouth as the lips left hers just enough to speak.

Next thing she knew, they were all in Manson’s bedroom in varying states of undress.  She had somehow wound up completely naked while the two men still had their jeans on.  The pair seemed torn between continuing what they had started downstairs and attending to her.  In the end, Raven was on her back between the two; an erection in each hand as the pair sandwiching her latched onto a nipple at the same time.  Two different hands travelled down her body, their strokes on her heated flesh melding into one as they broke away from her breasts just long enough to kiss.

Elsewhere, another pair was lounging in their own bed; a curl haloed head resting on a bony chest as a hand rested on an upper back.  Soft, labored breaths escape the couple; lips seeking out eachother’s in the dark as they try to come down from their peak.  “I kinda wish we didn’t have to go back,” sighed a soft, female voice; drawing a gentle chuckle from the figure holding her.

“You don’t mean that Manda Bear.  You’ve missed Raven just as much as I’ve missed the guys in the band,” teased a husky voice in response, a light smack of flesh against flesh punctuating his laughter.

“I hate that you’re right.  Though I have no clue just how you could miss all the abuse they lay on you,” groused a playfully irritated reply, getting more laughter in return.

“They’re family and they don’t really mean anything by it.  I’m just too quiet for my own good is all.  I make an easy target for their insanity because of how laid back I am.  I don’t really mind though.  Every time I’ve needed them, they’ve been there.  Even Manson,” Ginger breathed, pressing a kiss to his wife’s forehead; chuckling as their child chose that moment to boot him in the ribs through the womb pressed against his side.

Amanda pursed her lips as she mulled his words over in her head.  As much as she hated to admit it, she had seen just how much the band cared for eachother.  There was also the fact that she honestly did miss Raven, given this was the longest they had been apart before.  With how fragile her friend was, she honestly hoped the other woman was okay.  Besides, while she would never say it out loud, she’d missed the insane band too.  She’d even missed Manson, something she had never thought would happen.  Sighing, she snuggled into her husband and closed her eyes; allowing herself to slip into a deep sleep.

Nestling into a much more muscled body than she was used to, Raven opened one eye to see she was firmly snuggled into Johnny’s arms.  Humming softly, she allowed herself to relax; her body sore from all the activity yesterday.  From the looks of the light streaming in through the dark curtains, it was still half past way too fucking early to be awake anyway.  Unfortunately, a loud knock on the front door shattered all her illusions of sleeping in.  Sighing as both men stirred, the former freelancer slowly sat up.

Growling, Manson got up as well; stilling her movement with a hand on her shoulder.  “Stay here with Johnny.  Last time there was a knock on the door, it was nothing good,” he ordered, his voice still gruff from sleepiness as he got to his feet.  Opening her mouth to protest, the young woman stopped when she felt strong arms wrap around her.

“He’s right.  We’ll just wait up here, okay?  Brian can take care of himself,” assured a sleepy baritone in her ear, the velvetiness of his tone making her shudder warmly.  Soft lips met her ear, drawing a quiet moan from her as her fiance opened the door to their room and left without putting on any pants.

As much as she wanted to pull out of the actor’s hold to insist the rock star put on pants, the thought of the looks on the faces of the hapless reporters was too good.  Giggling at the image of wide eyes and slack jaws, Raven sighed as she kissed under Depp’s chin.  “Thatta girl.  Besides, we can be there in seconds if he needs us,” pointed out a satisfied voice above her, a mustache tickling her forehead before a kiss landed there.  Before she could answer, the pair heard muffled yelling come from below.  In an instant, the artist was out of bed; fear chilling her veins as she struggled to pull on some jeans.

The thespian was right behind her, cursing as he pulled on his own clothes.  From the sounds of it, the singer was royally pissed off; giving someone a piece of his mind while the pair rushed to make themselves decent.  After what felt like an eternity, they were sprinting out of the room; stopping to peek around the corner and get a sense for what was going on.  As much as she wanted to go down the stairs to defend the man she loved, a rational voice in the back of Raven’s head managed to gain control before she could.  It was much more intelligent to get a sense for what you were up against before heading smack into trouble.

Feeling Johnny’s heat against her back, Raven felt a breath of relief leave her when she saw that the rocker was at least alone in the house.  “I’m not gonna tell ya again.  Get the Hell off my property before I call the cops.  Since this is your second offense, I doubt they’ll take the events too lightly this time,” snarled the incensed performer, every muscle in his body tense as he seemed to be facing off with whoever was being blocked entry.  His words bringing all manner of memories to the forefront of her mind, the former artist came dangerously close to swooning as dizziness threatened to overtake her.

Feeling nausea begin to curdle in her stomach, the stunned woman clutched a hand to her mouth as she took a step backward; causing a board to creak under her weight.  Tensing, Manson turned his head to look at the pair perched at the head of the stairs.  “Get her back in the room,  _ now _ !” he snarled, his eyes filling with a fear that did nothing to quell the outright terror growing within her.  Narrowing his eyes above the shaking femme, Depp grabbed her shoulders to steer her back to the room.

“Do as he says,” urged the tense actor, a muscle ticking in his jaw when she began to struggle.

Despite the overwhelming, clawing panic beginning to swell in her veins, she  _ needed _ to know who was there.  If only for her own sanity.  So, with a shake of her head, she began to make her way down the stairs; making sure to listen closely for the other voice.  What she heard made all the color drain out of her face.  “You can’t order us off your property unless we’re posing a threat,” hissed the distant voice of Tony.  Feeling woozy as reality seemed to ripple and gray around her as she swayed slightly, Raven began to slowly collapse as her bones turned to water.  Vaguely aware of someone catching her, she clung onto consciousness just long enough to realize Johnny was picking her up.

“I told you to get her in the room!” roared the far away voice of her fiance as everything went black.

Floating in comfortable darkness, Raven became aware of two muffled voices arguing; breaking the lovely stillness of the void around her.  “Fuck, this is why I told you to get her back in the room,” hissed a familiar baritone, drawing her reluctantly back to reality.

“I tried but she didn’t want to go.  Was I supposed to drag her?” replied an offended baritone that was much more smooth than the one earlier.  This earned a low growl in response, followed by the sound of footsteps pacing back and forth.

“No, of  _ course _ not!  Just, Christ, I did  _ not _ want her to know those two knew where she lived,” responded the voice she now recognized as her fiance’s.

Groaning, Raven winced as she slowly rose back to consciousness.  Without the freedom of the void, all her earlier anxiety and outright terror came flooding back.  They had found her.  It was only a matter of time before her father joined the party.  Just thinking about it made her blood go cold.  There was now no place that was safe for her, no place the people she was trying to escape didn’t know about.  It was enough to make her want to scream, her eyes popping open to focus on the two men hovering over her prone body.

Sitting up, her eyes scanned the room against her will.  While she knew they couldn’t possibly be in there, it didn’t stop her from feeling an instinctual need to check.  “Easy, they wouldn’t make it past the front door and you know that,” growled the voice of Manson in her ear, thin arms wrapping tightly around her.  Johnny merely watched, seeming unsure if he should do anything.

“I-I know but...  Just hearing Tony’s voice though...  How the fuck did they...  No, you know what?  I think I know how,” she stammered, her fear slowly turning into outrage.

Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, Raven got to her feet with a grim expression on her pale face.  “Those fucking paparazzi.  Some of them think that just because they have the information, then they have every right to publish it,” she spat, making a bee-line for the door while the two celebrities behind her watched with stunned expressions.  Then they were following her, seeming to both want to stop her and see what she would do at the same time.

“Raven, are you okay?” Depp ventured, Manson a bit too confused to even question what was going on.

“Of course not!  I’m fucking pissed off!” came a response neither of them honestly expected from the soft spoken woman.  Then she was flinging open the door and storming into the hallway, leaving the stunned pair behind.

At first, Johnny and Manson could only look at eachother with disbelief; seeming unsure of what to do.  “Did we just see what I think we did?” the stunned lyricist husked out, his baritone stunned as he stared at the open doorframe.

“I think so but I still don’t believe it.  Since when has Raven gotten so brave?” Depp murmured, sounded just as taken off guard as his companion.

Before they could discuss the matter more, a squeal came from the floor below them; drawing the pair into a sprint as they rushed to see what was going on.  As soon as they reached the top of the stairs, however, they were stopped in their tracks by the sight that greeted them.  Instead of paparazzi or even Raven’s exs, the band and Amanda were gathered in a tight cluster around the woman as she squeezed the life out of her heavily pregnant friend.  “I’m so glad you’re back Mandy!  You and the guys can help me plot out some well deserved revenge,” chirped the ebony haired femme, a strange excitement glittering in her jade colored eyes.

Giving eachother one last look, the dark haired pair simply shrugged off their confusion before joining the ‘party’.  If Raven wanted some payback, neither of them was going to stand in her way.  In fact, Manson already had a certain grin on his naked face as he wrapped his tattoo covered arms around his fiance.  “Can I get in on this?” he purred, smirking up at the actor beside him as he shook his head in disapproval.

“Of course, you  _ and _ Johnny.  I wouldn’t leave either of you out,” she declared, Amanda looking up at her long time acquaintance as if she had grown two heads.

In all her years with the shy artist, the journalist had never thought she’d see the day the woman would stand up for herself.  It was all she could do not to pinch herself or start jumping for joy as her best friend led her into the living room while discussing her plans so far.  Almost mechanically, she gave response and suggestions; her head spinning slightly as she tried to comprehend the sudden change in behavior.  Thankfully, the others had no such reservations; taking over for her as her husband pulled her away for some much needed time to gather her thoughts.

Raven, while aware of this occurrence, found herself unconcerned.  In fact, she was amused by her friend’s reaction.  She was fully aware of just how submissive and frightened she normally was.  She had just grown sick and tired of cowering like some chihuahua.  She wanted to put her foot down for once, to stand up for herself.  To show these people that they couldn’t bully or frighten her anymore.  If she didn’t, she was almost certain the people she had been running from would simply keep coming.  That she would never have any peace again.  Just thinking about it filled her with rage as well as deep horror.

After all she had been through in her twenty-nine years of life, she wanted to just live her life.  To enjoy what she had.  If the hounding never stopped...  Shuddering, the former freelancer looked up at Pogo; a lightbulb going off over her head as she was struck by sudden inspiration.  Motioning to the mohawked menace, she began to whisper in his ear as he smiled and nodded; a titter that chilled people’s blood filling the air before he was walking off.  On his way out, he cracked his knuckles with a sadistic smirk; rolling up invisible sleeves before cackling his way up the stairs.

Amanda and the others could only stare at the brunette with horrified expressions.  “What did you  _ do _ ?!” the curly haired journalist asked, her hands protectively covering her five month baby bump as if on instinct.

“Told him he had free reign to do as he pleases when it comes to unexpected visitors.  Even Dita and Jonathan,” the former artist responded, rubbing her hands together and adding her own mad laughter to the mix.

Manson and Johnny could only watch, still bordering somewhere between confusion and horror.  While the rocker was proud of her for taking this step, he was also a bit worried that she might have finally snapped under the strain.  There was something about the gleam in her eyes that made them both feel uneasy.  It was almost like she was a desperate woman hiding under false bravado, hoping frantically no one would notice.  “Are you sure you’re okay sweetheart,” burred Depp before he could, kneeling to look in her wide, verdant eyes.

For just a moment, terror flashed across the milky expanse of her face before it was quickly replaced by her previous confident expression.  “I  _ have _ to be!  I can’t keep going on like this.   _ You _ guys can’t keep dealing with this.  Besides, its not as if I’m alone,” pointed out the obviously terrified femme, jumping slightly when her fiance swooped down to scoop her into his thin but strong arms.

“Damn right you aren’t.  Johnny will be here when I can’t be and I doubt Davis’d just let it be him alone,” the rocker assured, his normally commanding baritone a soft purr as she nestled into his scar coated chest and nodded.

After a few minutes, Raven pulled free; clearing her throat as she stood on her feet.  Looking at her towering idol, the rising singer opened her mouth to say something when a shrill ringtone broke the stillness.  Snarling, the Pale Emperor whipped out the offending device before opening it and proceeding to tear his manager a new asshole.  Watching this with a faintly amused smirk, the young woman merely rolled her eyes before shifting her gaze to Ginger and Amanda.

Despite how much the writer had seemed to hate the band at first, she seemed even more at ease now.  She even seemed to join in on some of the less physical antics, often giving just as good as she got.  Just seeing it filled Raven with a warm, safe feeling.  While the pair had been gone, she’d almost become afraid of them wanting to get a house of their own.  Especially with the baby coming.  What she was seeing told her the exact opposite was true.  “What do ya mean ya want me to go on another tour for this album?!” protested Manson, breaking the easy going atmosphere in a split second.

Moving before she had realized what was happening, Raven grabbed the arm of her fiance; soothing him with a kiss to his cheek.  “Shhhh, its fine Manny; wouldn’t this be the perfect time to prove our point?” she whispered, the singer reluctantly nodded; taking a breath before giving her forehead a smooch.

 

“Guess I could squeeze it in though...  It’ll only be for a few months though, end of story.  I’m not willing to go on year long marathons anymore,” the celebrity insisted, hanging up with a sigh as Johnny shot him a concerned look.

“I have to leave tomorrow with the guys.  We’ll use a substitute drummer for Ging, given the fact we’d be gone during the birth of his child.  We’ll send out for him a week or so after its born, however.  That way he can still get some pay for the gig,” he explained, rubbing the back of his head with an irritated expression on his pale face.

The percussionist simply breathed a sigh of relief, wrapping his arms around his wife as if he was afraid he’d be forced to separate from her anyway.  “Thanks Manson.  I really appreciate this,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to Amanda’s temple.  The journalist could only hum her approval, leaning into the bleach blonde beside her as worried eyes traveled to her long time friend.  The slightly younger woman seemed happy enough yet she couldn’t help but be worried.  Separation from Marilyn had never been something the nervous woman handled well.  A few months without him would be a true test of her resolve.  The writer just hoped the ex-artist was up to the challenge.


	14. A Big Problem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: ‘Those who flaunt their power disappear when the truly strong appear.’ - Rose (Legend of Dragoon)

Heaving as quietly as she could into the porcelain bowl in front of her, Raven uttered a silent prayer to the vindictive Gods above as her eyes shifted to the stick on the sink.  “Please, please... not while he’s on fucking tour again!  Surely you can’t be  _ that _ fucking cruel!  After what happened, he’ll fuck his entire career to come back here.  I can’t fucking handle that!” she screamed, not caring if Amanda or Ginger heard her at this point.

Letting out a soft sob, she laid her clammy forehead on the semi-damp bowl of the toilet as her shoulders began to shake.  “Please, please, please.  I just...  I can’t deal with this right fucking now!  You have my fucking balls in a vice here!  I can’t friggin’ hide it either, yanno!  He’d never forgive me,” she hissed, groaning when she heard a knock on the locked bathroom door.

“Raven?  Hun, you okay?” husked a smooth baritone that only made her cry harder.  As well intentioned as Johnny was, she really didn’t need to be around  _ anyone _ at the moment.

“Go away...,” she pleaded, knowing it was useless given her history.  Not that she really blamed the actor.

Sure enough, the gentle knock became and insistent pounding.  “I’m not going anywhere until you open this door,” growled a serious demand that made her skin tingle with fear as well as the tiniest bit of lust despite her deep distress.

Letting out a shaky sigh, the dark haired femme leaned backward to flick the lock; heaving into the porcelain God once again as the entry opened behind her.  “Shit...,” hissed a word that both under-exaggerated and encompassed her situation, making her giggle as soon as the most recent wave subsided.

“That’s putting it lightly...  What do I fucking do?” whispered a broken voice that sounded nothing like the strong woman just a bit earlier as a hand came to rest on her right shoulder.

“You have to tell him,” murmured a suggestion she knew was right but didn’t want to hear.

Shaking her head vehemently, she rubbed her arms as she looked up at the stick that basically held her fate.  “I don’t even know if I am pregnant.  Besides, he just left for tour.  After all the times he’s come back early already, he can’t really afford anymore.  We both know he’d immediately cancel to come back home and I... I just... I can’t deal with the guilt of taking away something that means so much to him,” she protested, hating how dirty the declaration made her feel.

After her miscarriage, Manson would be likely unwilling to leave her side at all during this pregnancy.  He was likely to be extremely protective as well as fearful, making her decision to hold back on the news even harder for her to really justify.  “You can’t just hide it either!  He has to come home eventually and I think he’ll notice that you’ve developed a pregnant belly while he’s been gone.  While he seems to love us both, there’s no doubt some amount of mistrust and jealousy would arise from that,” Depp pointed out, punctuating her thoughts and making her grimace slightly.

“I know...  Fucking Hell, why’d this have to happen now?!  I really don’t know what to do here!” wailed out of her as she slowly got to her feet to wash out her mouth.

On her way to the sink, she allowed her eyes to travel to the dreaded test; her heart skipping a few beats when she saw the double pink lines.  A positive.  Feeling a bit faint, she turned on the cold tap full blast; splashing some of the icy liquid into her heated face.  Then she was grabbing a bottle of mouthwash, gargling it while her second lover pressed up behind her to wrap gentle arms around her pudgy waist.  “We’ll call him together, okay?  Maybe if we both talk to him, he’ll be willing to see his tour through,” the thespian hummed in her ear, the musky scent of his cologne doing wonders to calm her nerves.

“M-maybe...,” she whispered, startled when she heard a floorboard creak near the open doorway.  Looking up, she saw the concerned faces of Amanda and Ginger looking in on her.

Once she was certain she would vomit again, Raven allowed herself to be led to the living room; blinking when Lily immediately curled up on her lap.  As if sensing her condition, the fierce feline growled angrily at anyone she deemed too close.  Sighing and scratching the protective animal, the former freelancer pulled out her phone; looking down at it like it was some horrible monster.  Looking up at the trio standing in front of her, she got a nod of encouragement; the gesture somehow not making he feel a bit better about what was going to occur.  Taking a deep breath, she pressed the green phone by Manson’s name as she let it out.

It had only been a few days but he already missed her.  Having Jeordie to warm his bed was a pale comparison to Johnny and Raven but it was better than nothing at all.  More importantly, the switch guitarist kept him from laying with groupies.  Snuggling into the bony chest under him, the singer opened one eye as he heard a familiar ring tone come from the device on the nightstand.  Yawning, Manson reached over his sleeping underling to snag his cell.  “Hey sweetie, you okay?” husked out of him, his muscles still tingling from the bout of fucking he’d had with his ex boyfriend.

“Er, k-kinda.  Listen, there’s uh, something I’d like to t-talk to you about.  W-would you mind if I put you on speaker?” whispered a nervous response he honestly hadn’t expected and immediately told him something was wrong.

In an instant, he was upright; scooting to the end of the bed to get to his feet and pace with his phone pressed firmly against his head.  “Yeah, yeah, go for it,” he urged, not caring what happened, just as long as she told him what the fuck was going on.  A quick beep and strange sounding, faraway voices soon followed; letting him know the exact moment it happened.

“Right, can you still hear me?” came a staticy, echoey sounding version of Raven’s voice over the line.

“Loud and clear,” he assured calmly, despite being inwardly ready to claw his way up the walls.  Unable to stay still as he waited for the information she wanted to tell him, he found himself seriously craving alcohol; mismatched eyes scanning for bottles he no longer had.

“Marilyn... I’m, uh...  I’m p-pregnant,” came an announcement that made his blood run cold with fear.  Breath hitching in his throat, he felt himself sway as Twiggy shot to his feet to catch the weakened singer.

“Wh-what?” he gasped out, his vision going gray as he hoped against hope that he had just misheard.  All this got was a small squeak that tore at his heart before there were some fumbling noises.

“Brian?  It’s Johnny.  Raven’s pretty sure she’s pregnant,” came another voice, the words making his reality pull away even further.  Without realizing it, the performer had sat on his bed; a strange expression in his mismatched eyes as he stared at a point at the floor.

“Pregnant...,” he gasped out, more for Jeordie’s benefit than his own.  If the man kept flailing for attention, he was liable to just fly away.

“Y-yeah...  I’m so sorry.  What do you want to do?” came a feminine sounding response from a far distance away.  The fear and uncertainty in her voice was enough to wake him up, his heart racing as he shot to his feet once again.

“If you’re willing, we can keep it.  I just wish this had come at a better time.  I’m kinda between a rock and a hard place now.  While I really want to come home, I just can’t.  If I bow out on any more performances...,” he whispered, feeling a mixture of guilt as well as deep fear.  More fumbling ensued, interrupting him mid-sentence.

“No, no!  It’s okay!  We were afraid you’d want to drop the tour and we were going to encourage you not to,” assured Raven, sounding relieved and helping him feel a bit better about the spot he found himself in.

“Really?  Well that makes it a bit easier, at least on the business end of things.  I just wonder if I can handle being separated from you while you’re carrying my child,” Manson sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he let out a distressed noise.  The guitarist behind him merely placed his hands on the rocker’s shoulders, nuzzling up to the singer’s neck.

“Listen, you need to call me often.  Every time you have a doctor’s appointment, you tell me what happened.  If you have any complications, you call me immediately,” demanded the temperamental celebrity.

“Of course.  I was going to do that anyway.  Try not to worry too much, okay?  Its not as if I’m alone here.  I have Amanda, Ginger and Johnny here.  Even Jonathan Davis is going to pop by some time later today,” his fiance reassured before they descended into a conversation about what had happened since he was gone.

Later that night, as she stared up at the ceiling while Depp snored quietly beside her, Raven found herself honestly happy for how well that had all gone.  Not only had Manson taken the news in stride but he seemed in a fairly low amount of distress, at least for the circumstances.  He was still a bit more stressed than she would like him but there was really nothing she could do about it now.  So, with a soft sigh as she snuggled into the warm form of the actor sharing the bed with her, she simply closed her eyes and tried to get some sleep.  She had a meeting with her record label about her new album.  They wanted to know what artwork she wanted to use as well get her to come in to re-record a few of the tracks she had done solo.  She couldn’t really afford to lose out on sleep tonight.

Downstairs, Davis was standing outside the front door of the large mansion; watching the sidewalk from the safety of the shadows.  Taking a drag from his cigarette, his shifted his gaze as Ginger came out to join him.  “Every now and again, I see the same two guys skirt past.  Its like they’re casing the place,” whispered the songwriter, blowing out a cloud of nicotine.  The blonde to his left let out a low growl, taking an offered cancer stick and lighting it.

“I think I have a good idea who they are,” the drummer rasped, taking a hit off the nicotine tube and blowing it out slowly.

“Since you’re probably going to be staying here while Manson’s gone, I should probably tell you but that’s the only reason.  Under normal circumstances, I would never tell you unless Raven okay’d it.  They’re her psycho exs, more than likely.  They’re the reason we moved here, besides her parents.  If you ever see them, you need to get them off the property before she catches sight of them herself,” he continued before launching into a quick explanation as well as description of the pair.

By the time he was done, Jonathan was fuming; tense and ready for the next time he caught sight of the mysterious pair.  “So that’s why they’re hanging around.  With her expecting, any kind of stress could spell disaster.  Especially with her history of miscarriage,” the rock star snarled, dropped his expended butt to the ground; stomping it with a motorcycle boot as his put his hands in his jeans pockets.

“And they would be all too happy to know they caused such a disaster,” Ginger responded, his normally kind eyes full of an acidic hatred.

“Kinda glad I came around now, to be honest.  While I don’t really care for Manson, Raven is an entirely different matter.  For a short while there, I was falling in love with her while she and her man were separated,” Jonathan breathed, chuckling when he saw the suspicious look he was getting from the rival band member.

“Don’t worry.  I know I don’t have a snowball’s chance in Hell at her.  Not with two men to worry about now.  Not to mention the fact she really only has eyes for the butthead on tour,” the metal star grumbled, sounding slightly bitter as he shook out another cig for himself.  Ginger merely narrowed his eyes at the other male next to him, not fully convinced.

He’d seen the way the lyricist looked at the woman he considered his sister.  If Davis had half a chance, he’d likely take the woman for himself.  Still, at least the man had her best interests at heart.  So, instead of retorting the way he wanted to, the percussionist simply kept watch with his fellow musician; tensing at the stray shadows as the hours slowly ticked by.  “You know...  Raves is something else entirely.  Something about her just seems to make me want to protect her, to make sure she’s safe,” came a confession that shattered the silence, drawing his gaze back to the almost miserable celebrity.  For a few seconds, the mustached male looked on the verge of tears.  To his relief, however, this expression was soon replaced by the cocksure grin he was used to; a chuckle coming from the kilt clad metal star.

“That’s what makes all of this very... interesting,” came a deep growl, a strange glint in dark eyes.

Yawning loudly as she wandered downstairs to have some breakfast before she started her day, Raven blinked when she saw Jonathan Davis asleep on one couch while her best friend’s husband sprawled on the other.  Their mouths were hanging open as they let out loud snores in unison, the stench of stale cigarettes and booze filling the air and making her nose crinkle in displeasure.  It looked like the pair had been up all night.  Eyes roving over their limp forms, she doubted she wanted to know what they were doing with all that time either.  So, shaking her head as she rolled her eyes, the rising singer made her way into the kitchen to continue with her earlier plan.

Amanda, on the other hand, was less inclined to just let the absence of her meek partner go.  As soon as she had awoken to their bed being empty, she was getting to her feet to rush downstairs; caught between fear and irritation.  As soon as her eyes landed on his prone form, however, all other emotion ebbed away for anger.  All manner of questions filled her head as the writer closed the distance to the couch he laid on, green eyes scanning his half naked body for injuries.  When she saw nothing, her ire mixed with reluctant relief.

Sighing out as she felt herself already letting go of her irritation, the five month pregnant journalist bent awkwardly to brush his bleached bangs out of his acne scarred face.  “I expect you to tell what you were doing last night when you wake up,” she hissed, the smell of food cooking drawing her attention to the near-by kitchen.  Straightening slowly, she followed her nose into the room; a bit surprised at what she saw.  Instead of Johnny doing the cooking, it was Raven; a silly smile on her face as she hummed to herself.

With a deftness she hadn’t expected, the other woman flipped the eggs she was frying so the yolks would be covered.  Whistling a strange tune, the former artist plopped some bacon into a screaming hot pan; getting an aggressive sizzle as soon as it hit the metal.  For someone who usually stuck to microwave food, she was cooking as if she’d been in a kitchen for years; utterly baffling her long time friend.  As it was, the curly haired femme simply shook her head to clear away the fog before making a noise in her throat to get the oblivious woman’s attention.

Jumping slightly, Raven whirled to face the woman that she’d known since childhood; feeling her heart skip just a few beats.  “Jiminy Christmas Mandy, you just about scared the life out of me!  You okay?  Did you need anything?” she gasped out, immediate worry washing over her as hazel eyes travelled to her friend’s swollen stomach.

“No, nothing like that Me... er, Raven.  I just smelled something cooking and decided to see what it was,” assured the journalist across from her quickly, giving a wide smile to show just how okay she was.  That was when her empty stomach decided to add its two cents, gurgling loudly and making itself very known.

Immediately, a teasing smirk curled the former freelancer's pale face; an eyebrow quirking as she turned back to the food.  “Really?  It had nothing to do with you hoping to beg some breakfast off a certain, soft hearted actor?” purred a sassy response as she watched her pregnant companion squirm in guilt.

“No!” came the heated reply, followed by an almost whiny grumble from her stomach.  Placing both hands over her bulging womb, the writer blushed as her gaze travelled to the tile floor.

“M-maybe...,” she corrected in a petulant whisper, sounding a bit like a child that had a piece of candy stolen from them.   Raven merely giggled, adding more food onto the hot pans after she’d pulled off what was already cooked.

“Take these.  Won’t take long too make more and I’m not that hungry anyway,” Raven offered, giving the first plate of eggs and bacon to her pregnant soul sister.

Knowing better than to argue, Amanda took the offered platter; murmuring a shamed thanks before she went back into the living room.  Shaking her head slightly, the dark haired femme placed her hand on her flat stomach.  It wouldn’t be long before she resembled her friend and there was no guarantee her fiance would be here for it.  Sadness immediately wrapped its way around her heart, squeezing tightly as she felt tears tickling her eyes.  Sniffling slightly, she took a breath as she forced the feeling away.  While the situation wasn’t ideal, Manson needed her to be strong for him.  He needed to know he could be away from her without her doing anything to hurt herself.

Gritting her teeth in determination, she felt a small sliver of shame bloom inside her that she hadn’t always been this strong.  She’d made several mistakes while in this relationship with Manson, she’d done things she was now deeply ashamed of and regretted.  With how stable things had been, she really didn’t want to risk any of it with her own, silly neuroses.  Just the mere fact that he was counting on her was more than enough to help her push through.  So, with a smile on her face, Raven flipped the bacon as she began to whistle once more.

Manson, on the other hand, wasn’t handling things as well as he had seemed to while he’d been on the phone with her.  The moment he’d hung up, he’d started a downward spiral into full on panic.  Pacing the room like a caged animal, the singer tore at the fringe of his hair; his jaw taut and twitching as he moved.  One word poured out of him in and endless mantra while his mismatched eyes fixed on the stained, matted carpet below his bare feet.   That word was ‘pregnant’.

Jeordie was there in an instant, taking the distraught superstar into his arms; murmuring words of comfort as a hand moved through ebony hair.  “Shhh, she’ll be fine honey.  She has Johnny, Mandy, Ginger and even Davis there.  If anything happens, I’m sure you’ll be called,” assured the dress clad male, pressing his lips against his ex’s twitching right temple.

“That’s not the fucking point!  Fucking Hell...  I could be on this fucking tour for months!  Do you have any idea what this will do to my fucking head?!  Knowing she’s pregnant while being a miscarriage risk and I’m fucking states away from her!  Its bad enough we’re being separated in the first place!  I love her but the woman doesn’t have the best track record for mental stability.  Neither do I, to be fair, but you know what I mean!” the rock star hissed, turning to burrow his face into the other man’s chest.  An action that took the switch guitarist off-guard.

Not only was Manson not well known for readily showing his vulnerability but he often lashed out if you stumbled across him during a moment of weakness.  To having him actually seeking comfort was almost tantamount to having an out of body experience.  It was all Jeordie could do to wrap his arms around the normally volatile male, silently praying this wouldn’t blow up in his face.  To his further shock, the performer began to sob; his thin body shaking with the power of his emotions.  “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to her.  Losing that first child devastated her.  Especially given the fact she didn’t really want children in the first place.  She... she thought her subconscious desires were what caused it and I don’t think she ever really let go of that,” whispered a confession that made the musician’s heart stop in his chest.

“I... I had no idea.  Christ, no wonder you wanted to move her,” whispered out of him as he simply held the sobbing singer.

“Yeah and now those bastards have found her all over again.  If they find out she’s pregnant...,” Manson whispered, the fear in his voice more than justified given everything the guitarist knew.

“She’s still not alone and she has gotten stronger.  The best thing you can do is have a little faith in her and the people around her.  Besides, its not as if you can’t check up on her whenever you want,” Twiggy pointed out, steering the distraught ‘Pale Emperor’ to the bed; his pink dress rustling as he took a seat.

“Yeah...  Its just... I know she can only handle  _ so _ much and that’s what worries me,” whispered a broken baritone as mismatched eyes stared at the filthy carpet.  Not having a good response, Jeordie could only hold his former boyfriend; his heart aching for the other man.

Sighing as she finished the last touch-up for her album, Raven placed the heavy recording headphones so they framed her slender neck; hazel eyes moving to the men behind the glass.  Getting an enthusiastic thumbs up from the trio, she gave nod before reaching for her water and taking a swig.  Wiping off her forehead with a towel, she saw the off-air sign flashing over the door just before it was opening.  “You did great babe!  The rest of your songs are fine.  We’ll begin drawing up some marketing plans.  Would you be willing to go on tour again?” gushed one of her bosses, his dark eyes gleaming with excitement as he offered her a cup of coffee.

“Would if I could but I wouldn’t be able to do a full length one.  I’m pregnant,” she informed, feeling a bit warm inside when the trio flooded her with a storm of congratulations.

“I can understand that. We can work around it though.  We’ll keep the travel within a few states and the dates well spaced out.  Do you think you could handle that?” the man from before persisted, the light gleaming off his brunette ponytail.

“It sounds reasonable and I really wish I could say yes but...  I... I uh, have a bad history with pregnancies,” she whispered, just mentioning it causing a bolt of pain to spear her heart.

This revelation also made the atmosphere more than a little awkward, the three men rubbing the backs of their heads as they avoided her gaze.  “Ah, okay.  Um, congrats on your new album.  We’ll, ah, we’ll show ourselves out,” murmured the man who had kinda brought all this to the surface, though it was through no real malice.  He just hadn’t known.  So, giving the trio a reassuring smile, she offered them a wave as they exited; waiting a few minutes to leave herself.

As soon as she was in the car, she was putting her hands on her stomach and closing her eyes as she struggled with her emotions.  She still didn’t really want children anymore than the first time and she was honestly afraid that she’d have another miscarriage.  Whimpering as unwanted tears slid down her pale cheeks, she wiped them away with a vicious motion of her hand.  Deep down, she knew the only reason why she was keeping this child was she still felt guilty about what had happened the first time.  As twisted as it was, she still felt very responsible for the incident.  Logically, she knew her state of mind had nothing to do with it but logic wasn’t really the one in charge at the moment.

Right now, emotion was in charge and the most prominent one was fear.  As much as she feared raising a kid, she was absolutely petrified of losing this one.  Just thinking about going through all that a second time made her shudder as she turned the key in her ignition.  Right now, the best thing she could do was get home and call Manson.  She just wished Johnny was there but knew he’d likely be on a shoot today.  He’d been getting more calls, an occurrence that could only be a good thing.

Still, she couldn’t help but feel lonelier with him being gone.  At least she wouldn’t be entirely alone.  Amanda, Ginger and Jonathan would be there; their presence at least helping her stay sane.  If she were entirely alone, she was certain it would only be a matter of time before her anxiety took over.  Shaking her head, she switched on the radio; smiling slightly when she heard one of her favorite songs from her lover.  Singing along quietly, she felt her anxiety slowly bleed away to be replaced with a feeling of optimistic determination.  She was more than strong enough to get through this with the help she had.  All she had to do was be willing to accept it.

Pulling into the driveway of the humble mansion, she put the vehicle in park and turned it off; unbuckling her seatbelt before she was getting out.  Forcing herself to put on a calm mask, she headed into the house and locked it behind her.  She was utterly unaware of the angry pairs of eyes glaring at her from some bushes near the end of the driveway  If she had been, she’s have immediately sent out Johnny and Jonathan Davis to deal with it.  As it was, she was blissfully unaware of the quiet plotting that was happening in the darkness.


	15. First Shot Fired

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: ‘Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it's easier than explaining what is killing you inside.’ - Joker (The Dark Knight)

Staring at the TV flickering in an eerie darkness, a pair of bloodshot eyes glares at the program playing before them.  A grizzled, vein covered hand crushes a near empty beer can, spilling the foamy, amber contents onto the offending appendage.  The cool liquid dribbled down his knuckles as a low growl emanated from a bare, muscled chest.  “Th’lil whore is fuckin’ successful.  Has even become a singer!” hissed a spiteful baritone as a tall figure staggers to its feet.

“She deserves to be suffering, as God would have it for laying with the devil,” growled the voice, sounding more agitated as time went on.  With a low curse, the hulking person threw the crushed can at the screen; breathing harshly as the crumpled aluminum tinked off the thick glass of the crt screen.

Suddenly, all the tension went out of broad shoulders; a sickening grin curling stubble encrusted lips.  “Unless her punishment is  _ my _ job, as is a father’s right.  Yes, God must be leaving this little heathen’s punishment up to me,” cooed a lighter version of the earlier voice, sounding close to being demented.  A crazed cackle filled the lonely, filth filled room; cockroaches running for cover due to the sudden sound.  Then a meaty hand was snatching for a well read gossip rag.  Mean eyes read a memorized address just to be sure all the numbers and letters were in the right places in his mind.

In another room, in another city; a thin woman is pacing while hazel eyes stare at a phone on a coffee table.  Some part of her wants to call her daughter to warn her of what was coming.  The other part wants to leave well enough alone.  She had caused enough of a disturbance already.  She had been so convinced Manson had brainwashed her in some way, had lured her precious girl into a life of debauchery.  Seeing Meagan so scared of her had shattered that illusion.  In that moment, she had been forced to reevaluate all the years with her troubled offspring and had been disturbed at what she saw.

In a lot of ways, she had unintentionally hurt her beloved daughter when all she had wanted to do was protect her.  Her anxiety usually got the best of her, forcing her to do things rashly and without much thought for what was really going on.  All she wanted was the situation to end quickly, not really noticing just how she got there.  She had said and done many hurtful things as a result, not really thinking about them until now.  It had taken her too long and her interference now could only cause more stress.  Yet, she found herself truly scared of Terry for the first time since she had divorced him.  She had only caught the barest of glimpses of him on her way to her hotel, not wanting to go back home until she had found some way to resolve things with Meagan.

He’d had an odd expression on his gaunt, facial hair coated visage, seeming to be smiling while baring his teeth at the same time.  Just seeing him had made a chill go down her spine.  She had been here for months.  Had he been hanging around for the same amount of time?  If he had been, what was he planning?  Whatever it was, it couldn’t be good.  Grimacing, she ran a hand through her hair as she looked at the only contact she had; Amanda.  The young writer had stayed in contact in an effort to make sure the matriarch wouldn’t go crazy.

It had been two months of peace, Raven taking to the separation with an almost startling ease.  Even Johnny had felt comfortable enough to take jobs again, having been gone for most days out of the week now.  Yet, he came back every night; cuddling up to Raven and ensuring she knew he was there before he simply passed out from exhaustion.  Acting may not sound hard but it took a lot of endurance.  Several scenes had to have reshoots until the director was satisfied, the repetition wearing on most people fairly quickly.  Not only that but being in character in and of itself could be draining.  You were basically pretending to be someone else, wearing their worries and habits as your own.  It was was far too easy to lose yourself.

There were also times where he was expected to be a certain emotion on command, regardless of what he was really feeling at the time.  Not to mention all the action scenes he could perform in a day.  It felt like he had run a week’s worth of marathons in one day and he was nowhere near as young as he used to be.  Right now, he was working on a ‘Pirates’ movie; something much more intensive than some of the other roles he’d been offered.  He did a lot of the less dangerous stunts himself and he often came home bruised because of it.  It felt nice to be able to cuddle up to a warm body.  Being able to feel the baby growing inside her was a large bonus.

It didn’t really matter to him that the child was decidedly not his.  He had yet to be allowed to have actual sex with Raven but that didn’t put a damper on his relationship with either her or Brian.  He was just grateful to be allowed near her, to be allowed to be a second shoulder should she need it.  Besides, it wasn’t as if he was deprived of sex.  His former friend had a near insatiable hunger and the woman in his arms gave amazing oral.  He was more than satisfied with what he was given, especially with how much the pair meant to one another.

Nuzzling into ebony hair, he allowed his hands to roam her growing dome; letting out a soft rumble of contentment as he began to slip into unconsciousness.  At three months, the bump was small; almost not there.  But he could still feel it, a smile coming over his tanned face as he sunk into a comfortable dream.  He would protect this family with his life, thankful for the fact Ginger and Jonathan were down there keeping watch.  They had been since Brian had left, much to Amanda’s deep displeasure.

Said journalist woke up alone most mornings, to her annoyance as well anxiety.  Mostly, she was worried that her husband wasn’t getting proper sleep.  She wouldn’t put it past him to stay up as long as he possibly could, drinking gallons of coffee in the process.  While she didn’t really blame him, she wanted things to turn more into a changing shift type of situation.  At least until getting security had been sorted out.  Finding a reputable but cheap agency in California was proving to be nigh impossible.  At least Johnny’s old guard had a good lead, they had just been having problem getting through via phone.  Sighing as she swung her legs of the bed, Amand placed her hands on her seven month tummy.

It wouldn’t be much longer until she needed him to be aware enough to drive.  She certainly couldn’t count on either of the Johns.  Davis only came at night while Johnny’s time at home was sporadic at best.  She had no guarantee either of them would be around.  She also felt extremely awkward about even asking them, only really wanting Ginger and Raven there with her for the birth.  Her only solace was that at least the night guard was keeping her friend’s exs at bay.  Raven’s safety was just barely below Ginger’s on her priority list.

The slightly younger woman was a sister to her despite a lack of any blood tie between them.  That was one of the reasons why she had no real plans to move out.  Having lived with her closest friend for so long, it seemed inconceivable to be alone now.  She hoped to even raise their children together, as twisted as this environment was.  She had no doubt her own baby would grow up to be rather strange.  Especially with Pogo around.  Running a hand over her face as she got up, she forced herself to think of different things; her hair a fuzzy, brown halo around her head.

Across from her, Raven and Johnny were just beginning to stir; the sound of footsteps making her smile slightly.  Her friend had been handling the long months without Manson fairly well.  She kept herself busy recording and writing new music.  Even drawing a few pictures, something the former artist hadn’t done since she became a singer.  It made Amanda feel a bit of hope that the broken woman might actually be recovering.  Unfortunately, that sensation disappeared like a cloud on the wind as soon as her phone began to ring and she saw a familiar name on the display.  “What does  _ she _ want?” the journalist hissed before accepting the call.

Oblivious of what was happening in the room across the hall, the former freelancer gave Depp a good morning peck on the lips before getting out of bed to dress herself.  Today would be another long day, her producers wanting to record music videos before she got too noticeably pregnant.  Unfortunately, the duets with Manson would have to wait until he was off tour again and therefore would have to wait until after she’d given birth.  At least she wasn’t entirely alone, behaving much more calmly than she ever had in the past.  She almost felt safe, even with her exs hanging around on the fringes of the property.  It certainly helped that Davis and Ginger were keeping watch.

Still, she knew her little bubble wasn’t permanent.  Davis was likely to go on a tour of his own at any time and Ginger was leaving as soon as Amanda was settled with the baby.  In all likelihood, the writer would be going with him.  She would need a lot of help with a newborn and would want her husband around as much as possible.  With Johnny likely being busy with his own career, this would leave her in the hands of the bodyguard; a prospect that left her more than a little nervous.  Being alone with a man she didn’t know didn’t set her much at ease, no matter how professional he was.  She would always be worried that he would do something in the back of her mind.  Suddenly she wished for the comfort of Jerome.  But he likely had moved on long since Johnny had decided he didn’t need him anymore.

While he’d been a jerk at first, he and his brother had become good friends of hers.  Also the two had given good recommendations, but it just wasn’t the same as actually having one of them.  While Charlie had only been a limo driver, he was still intimidating enough to make the pair outside think twice.  Sighing as she moved down the stairs, she was startled when she smelled something already cooking in the kitchen.  Knowing Jonathan and Ginger were likely asleep, that left the possibility of an invader.

Immediately, her heart began to race in her chest; fear dumping into her system as her dog bounded down the stairs behind her.  The canine stared at her owner with a perplexed expression, curly tail wagging slowly.  Then she was moving into the kitchen, not so much as reacting to whoever was in there.  This fact did nothing to soothe Raven’s jangled nerves.  Lady only reacted that way with people she knew and the people inside this house weren’t the only ones inside that bubble.  Still, she doubted it was either Miah or Tony making breakfast in the kitchen.

That left an extremely small window with one possibility, the very thought of it leaving a sour taste in her mouth.  Moving past the sleeping men on the couch, she hazarded a peek into the room; preparing to order her mother out of the house.  What she saw came close to making her chin go right through the floor.  It was Jerome, a gleeful glint in his cerulean orbs.  “Morning Raven!  What do you feel like eating,” he boomed, looking like he was barely holding in laughter.

“What on Earth are  _ you _ doing here?” she uttered before she could stop herself, clapping her hands over her mouth as her cheeks flushed.

“Johnny wanted to surprise ya.  Guy is like family so of course I jumped at the chance to be a guard for you,” the burly male responded simply, flipping a sausage patty he had been frying.  Raven could only stare, feeling utterly gobsmacked.

Amanda, on the other hand, was staring at her phone.  She both hated and loved the woman for what she had done but the writer now found herself faced with a hard decision.  Whether or not to keep Terry’s presence a secret from the woman downstairs.  The knowledge would do nothing but stress the other woman out but, on the other hand, it would at least help her be aware that there was real danger out there.  Nibbling her lower lip, she stared down at her phone as she pondered if she should call Manson for his advice.

While he was a bit of an ass and she still didn’t like him much, he  _ did _ have Raven’s best interests at heart.  Still, would alerting him make him come home prematurely?  With his career on the line, the journalist found herself reluctant to take this step.  The best she could do was talk to Johnny.  He was fairly level headed and likely to give give a rational response.  Yet, that wouldn’t make this any easier.  If Terry really was as off his rocker as his former wife had said, she had no clue just how far the man would go.  The scariest thing was, when she had known him, he had gone pretty damn far.  Taking a deep breath, she slipped out into the hall; catching the star just as he was about to go down the stairs.  “Hey, uh, we have an even worse situation than her exs,” she began, getting his attention in an instant.

Raven was just nudging her would be guards into a wakeful state when Depp and her childhood friend entered the room, their somber faces sinking her good mood like a ship.  A feeling of doom began to fill her as she made a beeline for the pair, questions on her lips while anxiety dumped into her system.  The way they avoided her gaze did nothing to assuage this.  “Raven, honey we need you to stay calm.  If you get too upset, it could be bad for you and the baby,” Johnny reasoned while Amanda rubbed the back of her head nervously.

“Just tell me what’s going on,” she murmured, her voice tense as she braced herself for horrible news.

“Your mother called Amanda.  Your father is in town,” he continued, barely there to catch her in time as she fainted soon after he had finished speaking.

A loud ringtone filed the dark room, earning an irritated huff from a dreadlock crowned form.  Reaching out a black nailed hand, he took the device and pressed it to his ear as he sat up.  “Yeah!” he hissed, his tone clipped and angrily due to being awoken from a deep sleep.  A figure next to him shifted, hoarse snores shuddering for a few moments before continuing smoothly.  After a few moments, the erect figure was on his feet; throwing on a pink dress as quietly as he could.  Inwardly cursing, he kept an eye on his ex while he hastily made himself decent; fairly running into the body of the bus.

The band, who had been sleeping on the couch, chairs and floor, continued to snore; undisturbed by the violent entry.  Narrowing his dark eyes, the man known as Jeordie White walked up to Pogo and gave the dangerous keyboardist a gentle kick in the ribs.  Sitting up with a sputtered burst of swearing, the mohawked male took a swing in his half awake state; missing horribly and ending up face down on the carpet for his efforts.  Sitting up to glare at his assailant, the hyper musician was stunned to see Twiggy.  “Th’fuck Twigs?” he groaned, rubbing his side as he slowly got to his feet.

“We have an emergency, get everyone up.  Its about Raven,” came the curt response, setting a fire under the other man’s ass.

In moments, he had the half alive band conscious; sour expressions on make-up smeared faces.  All of them had spent most of the night drinking is celebration.  So far, all the tours had been a massive success; bringing in sales Manson hadn’t had in years.  Since Raven was so popular, she seemed to be bringing attention to him; the exact opposite of what his agent had accused her of doing.  To say the singer had been smug about it had been an understatement, buying the band booze so they could drink in his stead.

Since they had gone on tour, he hadn’t touched a single drop.  A fact that still astounded his band.  They were more used to him drinking them all under the table, continuing on until he had passed out.  Not to mention the fact he hadn’t even looked at the groupies, leaving them for the rest of the band.  The only person he bothered to have sex with was Twiggy, since he was the only one Raven had vocally approved of.  A fact that seemed to suit Manson perfectly fine.  Gender never really mattered to him as long as he found his partner attractive.

Right now, Jeordie was getting everyone to settle down enough to have a talk with his small family.  After that, they could decide whether or not to share the news with their slumbering boss.  “Raven’s dad came back,” he announced, encouraged by the deadly sounding rumble that rippled through the gathered men.

“Fuckin’ asshole.  Why can’t he leave her alone,” Tim hissed, irritation clear in his accented voice.  John 5 nodded in agreement, cracking his knuckles as a serious expression crossed his beautiful visage.

“What do we tell the boss?” Pogo asked, looking ready to cause some serious violence.

“I was hoping you would tell me, cause I have no idea.  As of right now, he has no clue of what’s going on,” the effeminate guitarist replied, looking perplexed as well as worried.

All of them knew that if they told him, the rockstar would likely want to turn around.  Yet, if they hid it from him; he’d never trust them again.  All the progress he gained toward trusting people would be lost.  It was not an easy decision to make, either way.  Only Tim seemed unperturbed, getting to his feet with an utterly neutral expression.  “If we are trusting Raven, we must put our trust in Marilyn.  He already decided to continue despite finding out she was pregnant.  He may handle this in a perfectly rational manner,” the towering Swede pointed out, cracking his neck as he walked to the front of the over-large vehicle.

The three left behind could only ponder on his advice, feeling ill at ease despite how much sense it made.  None of them expected him to take the news well, especially since he knew more about the situation than  _ they _ did.  Still, telling him had to be better than allowing him to backslide into the temperamental asshole he had been before.  The openness and general better mood had also been hard won, giving them more incentive to be honest.  The only thing left was to choose an unfortunate messenger.

Standing in front of the closed door, listening to the snoring on the other side, John 5 found himself hating the men behind him.  Without Ginger around, he was apparently lowest on the totem pole; a fact that irked him to no end.  He didn’t want to be Manson’s chew toy but found himself with little choice, Pogo having threatened to dye his hair green if he didn’t do it.  So, with another glare at the cowards behind him, Fiver raised a closed fist to knock firmly on the faux wood.  His heart only sank when he got no response whatsoever.  “I  _ really _ don’t want to go in there,” he whimpered before opening the door to poke his head inside.

The sheer darkness that greeted him was not encouraging, reminding him of some horrible beast’s lair.  The rough, wet snores coming from the figure on the bed only completed the illusion.  Licking his dry lips, the prissy guitarist was going in; a cold sweat coming over his brow as the form of his band leader shifted.  “M-marilyn?” he squeaked out, his voice barely loud enough to wake a mouse.  Clearing his throat, he took a breath and tried again; his call a bit louder as he moved closer.  He was rewarded with a soft groan as the larger man moved to sit up.

Still geared to expect things hucked at his head, John 5 flinched as the groggy male focused his matching eyes on his underling.  “Mmph, Five?  Th’fuck ya want?  One of the guys start chokin’ on his own vomit or somethin’?” he slurred, looking dimly concerned.

“No, its nothing like that.  Its more about Raven.  Her father came back,” the musician announced, gulped as the rock star pulled himself up to his full and rather intimidating height.  Then, without doing anything to the informer, he was stomping out into the main body of the tour bus.

After a rather heated meeting, Manson was calling Raven to check on her; pacing while all manner of horrible things raced through his mind.  The second she answered, relief overtook him; a flurry of questions pouring out of him as he continued to move.  “Well, Jerome came on as my bodyguard so I don’t think I have much to worry about anymore.  On top of that, Ginger and Jonathan have been keeping watch at night long before he showed up,” came a response that made him collapse as all his anxiety left in a rush.

“Oh, thank fuck for that.  Also, remind me to thank Fish for his help,” he breathed as he sank into the couch, leaning into Twiggy as the other man took a seat on his right.

“Not a problem.  Don’t worry about me, I have plenty of people around me to help keep me grounded.  How’s the tour going?” whispered a soothing voice on the other end, making him chuckle as his eyes closed.

“Just fine.  Missing you like crazy.  Hope those record execs aren’t pushing you too hard,” rumbled his baritone as he felt his exhaustion overwhelm him in a wave.  Knowing she was safe was doing wonders for him, allowing him to slip into sleep before he’d even noticed what was going on.

Staring at the snoring phone in her hand, Raven giggled as she hung up.  Given the time of day, the poor man had to be exhausted.  It was to be expected with the fact he was on tour.  Still, she had to wonder if he was back on the alcohol.  While she hadn’t fully expected him to ever stop, she had been pleased by the change.  Over all, he had become much more pleasant and open since he had given up the sauce.  Just thinking about him starting up again made her feel deeply sad due to that reason.

Placing her phone back in her pocket, she reached for the plate of bland hashbrowns Jerome was handing her.  “Feel better?” Amanda whispered, watching the pale woman as she began to pick at the food.   
“Y-yeah.  You think he bought it?” asked the former freelancer shyly, not liking the fact she’d had to pretend like that.  If she let on how scared she really was, Manson would be on his way home now.  Job be damned.   
“You sounded perfectly fine.  He’ll be okay,” Johnny assured, shifting his gaze to the two men that had been on night guard since Manson had left.

“As for your father...  None of us are about to let him anywhere near you, especially Jerome,” Davis assured, pursing his lips as a slight frown came over his pale face.

The exhausted drummer by his side could only nod weakly, looking like he was ready to drop on his feet.  Seeing how unsteady he was, Amanda darted forward to help support him; walking him toward the room they shared.  Watching the pair with a grim expression, Raven turned her focus to Jonathan.  “If he volunteers tonight, you say no.  He needs sleep.  I could say the same for you but I have no right to tell you what to do,” she whispered, her voice harsh as she took a bite of the hashbrowns.

“Same could go for Ginger but I understand where you’re coming from.  He has a wife and a kid to think about while I don’t.  I’ll make him lay off for a few days,” the metal star agreed, tensing when there was a knock on the door.

Jerome was moving before anyone else could, a serious expression in his blue eyes as he swung the door open.  Raven, who had peeked out of the living room to see who it was, was treated to the expressions of several paparazzi.  They all looked like they had swallowed a cactus, going pale while their cameras dropped.  Then they were gone, practically leaving a dust cloud in her wake and doing wonders for her confidence.  Her exs and her father may be abusive, but they were also cowards.  There was every chance they would turn tail just the camera hounds.

Still, buried deep inside her, there was a part that doubted it would go that smoothly.  All three men were determined to do some sort of harm to her and they all had their ways of accomplishing it.  Her father was especially devious, not really being known to be afraid of anyone or anything.  While cowardly, he might not be all that put off by Jerome.  In fact, the bodyguard would simply force him to become more covert.  There was also the possibility that the two parties might join forces.

While there was no love lost between Terry and Tony, the two men had a common goal.  Miah was likely just along for the ride and not truly invested in causing any harm.  Shuddering and wishing Manson was there, Raven was all too glad when Johnny sat next to her and took her in his arms.  “It shouldn’t be much longer,” murmured the thespian, his voice soft and reassuring as he placed a kiss on her temple.

“Key word is shouldn’t but tours can be a bit of a crapshoot.  There might be delays or performances might be added on,” she sighed, grateful for the attempt to reassure her.

“Still, like I said, I’m not too worried.  As long as we have Jerome here, everything should be fine,” the former artist declared, leaning into the thespian’s muscled chest.

Watching his haunted lover lurking in the bushes, Miah wondered just what he was doing here.  This wasn’t the first time either.  All of this was heading in a direction he wasn’t entirely comfortable with.  As much as he hated to admit it, this was going down a fairly deadly path.  It was beginning to look a lot like Tony wanted to kill their mutual ex or at least hurt her badly.  Just thinking about what his lover told him happened the first time made him shudder.  This time was bound to be much worse.  “What are you boys doing?” murmured a low, neutral sounding baritone that made the hidden pair jump out of their skins.

Glaring up at the stranger, Tony lifted his lip in a sneer as he got to his feet.  “The Hell do  _ you _ want?” he hissed as Miah straightened to offer what support he could.

“Same thing you do, I’d wager.  Revenge,” replied the much taller stranger, a deranged grin curling mustached lips.


	16. Devastation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING!!: Ambush and Beating of a Pregnant Woman.
> 
> Author’s Note: ‘Let's turn on the juice and see what shakes loose.’ - Betelgeuse

The next two months both sped by and crawled like a slug.  As soon as she entered her fifth month, the music videos had stopped, leaving her with a lot of free time at home.  Unfortunately, most of that time was now spent with Ginger, Amanda and Jerome.  Jonathan Davis had left in the middle of her fourth month, finally feeling comfortable enough to go on tour.  Johnny also felt more comfortable leaving her at home, picking up on acting jobs he had neglected while things were still hectic.  Still, at least it wouldn’t be much longer before Manson came home.

Sighing as she lounged on the couch, she found herself staring down at the small bump forming on her abdomen.  She was both fascinated and frightened by the idea of a child growing inside her.  Not for the first time, she wondered what kind of mother she would make.  She had never acted all that maternal and found herself getting easily irritated with children.  She was a bit nervous that she wouldn’t treat her child all that well because of that.  Her only solace was that she wouldn’t have to do it alone.  The band as well as Amanda would be more than willing to pick up her slack if she was emotionally unable to be a mother.  Still, that didn’t exactly feel fair.

Leaning her head against the back of the couch, she closed her hazel eyes as she forced her mind onto another track.  Worrying about what kind of mother she would be would only stress her out and she didn’t really need more of it at this point.  Especially with her best friend ready to pop any time now.  Each hiccup or cramp was a cause for massive amounts of anxiety, making both her and Ginger swarm around the poor woman.  It was enough to make the stubborn writer yell at them more than a few times.

Amanda was more than just annoyed with the extra attention.  She was downright fed up.  She was used to being more independent, not followed after like she was going to break.  To say she felt smothered would be a bit of an understatement.  So, when she had woken up to a tight feeling in her lower back, she was reluctant to tell anyone.  After days of being relentlessly shadowing, the last thing she wanted was to be swarmed on.

With a sigh and a wince, the journalist got to her feet and stretched.  Of course, she would tell the others when the contractions got closer together.  As for right now, she just wanted to relax.  She didn’t want a lot of fuss or panic.  Not when the labor itself could take many hours.  Besides, there wasn’t anything to really worry about.  Birth wasn’t like on TV or in the movies.  It was usually a very lengthy process and she wanted to spend as much time at home as possible.  Hospitals were honestly a bit scary and she didn’t relish being stuck at one for several hours.

Heading down the stairs, she stopped briefly when she heard voices.  Right now, Ginger and Raven were discussing the former freelancer’s pregnancy.  From the sounds of it, everything was going smooth.  She hadn’t had any complications, a huge relief given the last pregnancy had ended in miscarriage.  In all honesty, she would be glad when this whole mess was over.  It had been far too long since she and her closest friend had just been able to hang out.  She longed for the days they could just sit and watch a movie together, gushing about how cute the male lead was.  Just thinking about the look on Ginger’s face was enough to make her smile as she finally rounded into the living room.

Immediately, all eyes landed on her; making her regret her decision to even leave her room.  “Before you start, I just want a normal day.  Okay?  I don’t want any fuss, no shadowing.  Just a normal, peaceful day.  If you can’t agree to that, I can just go back upstairs and lock myself in the room,” came a warning, brown eyes shooting a very serious warning to the people gathered in the room.  Thankfully, Ginger and Raven nodded vigorously; giving her some hope that they would comply.  Though, she had doubts about her husband’s ability to resist the urge to wait on her hand and foot.

Narrowing her eyes in suspicion, the writer moved into the living room; sitting next to her likewise pregnant friend.  Mystery, who had been watching from the kitchen, waddled over to her mistress; hopping into what was left of the woman’s lap.  Lily, on the other hand, simply gave the woman that had sat down a disdainful expression from her own position on Raven’s lap.  “So, you’re doing good so far?” the slightly older female prompted, gaze moving to the very slight bump of her practical sister’s stomach.

“Yeah, thankfully.  Still don’t quite know how I feel about this.  Am I just keeping this baby because I was so traumatized by the miscarriage?  Or do I actually want to have a child?  I still don’t hold much enthusiasm for children themselves.  Will that change with my  _ own _ child?  Will I simply ignore the baby or will I be a good mother?” pondered the ebony haired femme, rubbing the bulge with a vaguely worried expression on her pale features.

“You’ll do fine!  Besides, its not like you go out of your way to treat children badly.  You also don’t have to do it alone.  This baby will have a very strange family but a loving one.  Though, I wouldn’t recommend you ever let Pogo babysit,” pointed out the journalist, drawing a smile out of the concerned artist.

“Lord, I don’t even want to think of what he would teach this kid.  What if it’s a girl?  Can you imagine how protective Manson will be?” Raven pointed out, chuckling at the images that flashed through her head.

“Let alone when she brings home her first boyfriend.  He’d send the poor boy running to the hills,” Amanda provided, joining in the mirth.

“Don’t forget Johnny.  Even though this baby isn’t his, he’ll be just as protective.  Poor girl will be lucky to be dating when she turns twenty,” responded a jaunty quip.

Thus the conversation continued like that, the two women laughing while poor Ginger was doing his best to suppress his urge to fuss over his heavily pregnant wife.  This was his first marriage, let alone first child.  He felt well within his rights to be nervous.  Even more so now that she was so close to getting birth.  It was hard for him to sit back and allow her to get her own drinks and food.  Mostly due to the fact that he felt she deserved to be served.  Especially given the fact he’d been the one to put her into this position.

Sighing as he ran an unsteady hand through his flaxen locks, he forced himself to take a seat on the shorter couch located next to the one the women were seated on.  If this was what the love of his life wanted, he would comply.  That didn’t mean he had to be happy about it.  Even now, he was watching her out of the corner of his eye; on guard for any signs of distress.  Every stroke of her swollen tummy, every twitch made his blood pressure spike.  If he didn’t find a way to distract himself soon, he would go insane.

Catching the eye of Jerome, the two men headed to the entry hall.  Looking down at the shorter male before him with a sympathetic expression, the bodyguard gave a nod to show he was listening.  “I feel like I’m going out of my mind.  I know millions of women do this every day but they aren’t my wife!  Let alone the fact we’ll be taking the baby with us as soon as its cleared by a doctor.  I have no idea how to do any of this,” the distraught percussionist whispered, keeping his voice low so Amanda wouldn’t hear his distress.

“And countless fathers have said those same words.  Take courage.  She’ll be in good hands and there’s no reason to expect complications,” pointed out the larger of the pair, placing meaty hands on the celebrity’s shoulders.

 

_ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Somewhere in Colorado~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ _

 

“I'm the Mephistopheles of Los Angeles,” echoed a wavering baritone, accompanied by the sounds of two guitars playing a sorrowful tune.  Then the pale God was tipping back a plastic water bottle, adam’s apple moving with each swallow of the liquid encased inside.  After only a few mouthfuls, he was spitting it back onto the crowd that swarmed under him; grinning when they rejoiced like revellers receiving a blessing.  Some had even opened their mouths to receive it, no doubt finding some thrill in the thought they would be taking in some of his saliva.

None of the mob would have been able to tell he was a ball of anxiety on the inside.  It had been far too long since he had seen his pregnant fiance.  Despite receiving nearly daily calls from her, he found himself filled with the need to assess her condition for himself.  Therefore, he would only be on tour a few more months tops.  A fact he had made very clear to his agent.  The birth of his own child just wasn’t something he was willing to miss out on.

In fact, it was only the knowledge that she had Johnny and Jerome that kept him going.  Still, the loss of Davis had rattled him.  He could still remember that call, using the raw emotion to power his next song.  “Don't want your God and His higher power.  Want power to get higher and I'm not allowed, I'm not allowed,” hissed out of him, his gruff tone holding a certain bitterness as his band began to play behind him.

“When you look up, what will you see?” he seemed to ask his audience before the lights flashed on over his head and red smoke began to pour from beneath his feet.

“Don't need a motherfucker looking down on me, motherfucker looking down on me,” growled the rocker, transforming into something almost not human as he crouched down to touch the stage with one hand.

“Least I know wherever I go, I got the devil beneath my feet,” came a declaration as he knocked on the hard surface of the stage with his knuckles.  Then he was straightening, giving a few good stomps as he repeated the line.

“Don't bring your black heart to bed. When I wake up you best be gone or you'd better be dead,” demanded the center of this dark universe, all eyes on his lithe form as he began to pace.  While he moved, the stage seemed to shift and break apart; as if something was coming from deep inside the platform while he repeated the line.

“This is what happens when you put an apple on your head,” he snarled before kneeling as if to talk down to the audience.  Dark, long claws scraped the polished surface of the stage behind him, a hulking figure emerging.

“You could laugh all day but you can't laugh the darkness away.  Can't laugh the darkness away,” he whispered, turning to look at the horned silhouette with an expression of reverence and fear.

“Too many pills and not enough kills.  I need a bug out, sold that big house,” he belted out as he straightened to fully face the animatronic devil that now shared his stage.

“Neva take me alive, never take me alive, never fucking take me alive,” he spat at the huge thing, a spotlight coming on over it just as smoke escaped its nostrils.

“It's better to be blamed for robbing Peter than guilty for paying Paul,” husked his voice while he glared at his new friend, the red creature looking rather intimidating despite being an oversized puppet.  Then he was turning toward his audience to repeat his declaration, gesturing to the demon looming over him.

The rest of the show went off without a hitch, the crowd roaring in approval while he limped off the stage with Twiggy’s help.  “You need to stop overexerting yourself.  You aren’t as young as you used to be,” admonished the guitarist while the rest of the band followed.  The only outlier was the new guy on drums, a vaguely confused expression on his young, makeup covered face.  He still travelled in a separate vehicle and would likely be all too glad to leave when Ginger came back, not that any of the group would really miss him.

“Thanks Twigs, I can always count on you to tell the straight up truth,” the obviously tired superstar grumbled playfully, leaning into his ex while he was led to the dressing room.  In his condition, it was unlikely he would make it to the tour bus without a rest first.  Besides, the newbie looked like he could use a drink after some of the shenanigans he had witnessed.

Just before they had gone on stage, Pogo had decided a resurgence of his ‘Wonder Penis’ was in order.  In quick succession, he had shoved his unshaven genitalia into the temp’s face; cackling all the while.  The poor boy had been a mixture of violated and scared that none of them had seen in a long time.  The mohawked menace had beaten that out of them long ago.  The only one that still reacted was Ginger, making his absence sorely felt.  Especially by the manic keyboardist.

On top of being the butt of Manson’s temper, the drummer was Gacy’s favorite chew toy.  Without him around, the troublemaking musician hadn’t really had an outlet for his mischievous ways.  Everyone else was either too dangerous to bother or savvy to his methods.  That made the temp his new target and the stress was beginning to show after such a long time.  The replacement percussionist had started developing an interesting twitch in his right eye, avoiding the other band members whenever they weren’t in concert.  “I’ll start heading to the hotel,” said musician informed, not even stopping to assess the condition of his current boss.

Leaning back in the chair he had been led to, Manson ignored the declaration; closing mismatched eyes while Twiggy pressed a fresh bottle of water into his palm.  “Thanks Jeo, you’re a doll,” he groaned, taking a deep pull from the opened bottle.  The cold liquid helped soothe his burning throat and brought him some measure of peace as he felt his tight muscles begin to unwind.

“Course Bri, its the least I can do.  Can’t just sit by and let ya kill yourself.  Not when ya have a lovely girl waiting for you back home,” the switch guitarist cooed, pressing a kiss to his former lover’s paint smeared temple.

Humming in approval, the Pale Emperor leaned into the thin form beside him; closing his eyes as he felt tiredness overwhelm him.  “Should move to the bus.  Won’t be able to walk for much longer,” husked out of him, barely sounding like his voice at all.  Next thing he knew, he was swept up in Tim’s arms; the much taller Swede carrying him through the hall that led outside.  Instead of fighting it, he simply allowed himself to fall into a deep sleep; trusting his band mate to keep him safe while he was vulnerable.

 

_ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Back in California~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ _

 

Picking at the food on the plate in front of her, Amanda had to fight to keep a wince of pain from showing on her pale face.  As she expected, the contractions were getting worse over time; it was just happening a lot faster than she had thought it would.  In two hours, they were already coming close to being fifteen minutes together; making her more than a little nervous.  While she didn’t want to leave Raven here, she really only wanted Ginger with her.  Just thinking of the possibility of her childhood companion seeing her lady bits was more than a little mortifying.

Unfortunately, Jerome had left a few minutes ago to do grocery shopping.  With the way things were looking, the former artist would be alone.  An idea that filled the journalist with a feeling of foreboding.  Still, another contraction tightening across her stomach made it clear she had no choice in the matter.  So, with a shamed grimace, she turned her gaze to an obviously nervous Ginger.  “Um, hun...  We should probably grab my bag and make our way to the hospital,” she whispered, not too surprised when her words were like a depth charge going off in a shallow pond.  Things went from calm to complete chaos in a matter of seconds.

Ginger sprinted upstairs while Raven seemed torn between staying with her or going with the drummer.  Thankfully, the other woman decided to stay; setting the heavily pregnant writer at ease.  “Okay Mandy, uh kinda seems you’re calmer than me already.  That’s probably not a good thing, is it?” she tried to joke, her smile looking more pained than anything.  When the laboring woman only laughed in return, she relaxed just slightly.

“Its what I expected Raven.  I’ll be fine.  Probably won’t be home tonight but I’ll make sure Ginger stays in contact as much as possible,” the brown haired reporter assured, still giggling as her husband barreled down the stairs with wide, scared eyes.

“I got the bag.  Is lil sis coming?” he gasped out, resembling his assumed last name more now than he ever had before.  The comparison was so uncanny that even the petrified illustrator had a hard time holding back laughter.

As much as she wanted to accompany this woman who had been in her life since she could remember, Raven realized this was an extremely intimate moment.  Besides, she didn’t relish the idea of seeing someone she considered a relative up in stirrups.  “No, I think you got this Ging.  Just let me know how things go,” she responded before Amanda could, hoping the other female wouldn’t take offence to her bowing out.  When the curly haired female looked relieved, she felt a weight lift off her shoulders.

“Thank you for saying it first.  I would have felt awful if I had to ask you to stay here.  Keep the doors locked and we’ll see you in a few hours,” the journalist sighed before she was allowing her husband to lead her to the door.

“Good luck!” Raven called as the door clicked shut.

As soon as they were gone, she was turning the deadbolt; only feeling marginally safer with the entry locked.  If her father wanted to, he could easily break his way in.  Shaking herself to get rid of the disturbing image, she moved back into the living room to watch some cartoons.  While the fact that both her father and her exs were lurking out there honestly terrified her, she couldn’t allow herself to dwell on things that might never happen.  Mostly due to the fact that, despite how dangerous he was, her father was a massive coward.  The likelihood of him doing anything was fairly minimal.

Watching as the pair got into the car and drove away, mean eyes glittered as a deep laugh rumbled from a hulking figure hidden in the bushes.  “This is what we’ve been waiting all this time for.  She’s alone and vulnerable.  We just need a good way to get in.  Given that she recognizes all of us and she’s already on guard, I doubt she’d open the door for us,” the oldest of the trio murmured, keeping his voice low in an effort not to draw attention.

“Well, what do you propose then?  Its not like any of us can change what we look like at the drop of a hat,” grumbled the younger, clean shaven form to his right, sounding almost petulant.  The only person that stayed silent was the goateed male to his left.  In fact, he looked pale and outright uncomfortable with the whole thing.

“Have nancy boy here pretend to be that bodyguard.  Bet he could pull off that thug’s voice perfectly,” declared the lead of the operation, sneering down at the man that glared up at him.

“I really don’t want any part of this.  We’re talking about ganging up on a pregnant woman who has done practically nothing to any of us,” Miah spat out, regretting the fact he had ever gotten involved in the first place.  The further this went, the worst he felt about it.  He was even considering breaking up with Tony over it, not really liking the side of his partner that he was seeing.

This crazed, dark, obsessed person was not the man he had fallen in love with.  In fact, seeing his boyfriend like this was making him wonder what what he had ever seen in the man in the first place.  “Like I said before, its a little late to back out now,” growled a demand from above him, the sound of a knife sniking open making his blood freeze in his veins.  Licking his dry lips, he looked down to a see a switchblade being waved in his face.

“Now, unless you want a piece of your face to go missing, you’ll do exactly as I tell ya,” growled the father of the woman he had once loved.

Knowing he would get no help from Tony, Miah nodded reluctantly; moving out of the bush to walk to the front door.  Each step forward filled him with a sick feeling, making him wish he could just turn around and run away.  Just put as much distance between himself and this horrible business as he could.  Only one thing kept him from giving in, the knowledge he would likely be the one to call the police while the others were distracted.  If he left now, Meagan would probably die; a fact he wouldn’t be able to live with.

Humming to herself as she watched the beginning of Spongebob, Raven found herself relaxing despite the fact her best friend was in labor and had left for the hospital moments before.  In fact, she seemed to be the center of attention; Mystery and Lady on either side of her while Lily occupied her lap.  Scratching the white cat’s ears, she startled when she heard the doorbell echo through the empty house.  “Huh, wonder who that could be,” she mused to herself as she got to her feet to head to the front door.  She was only stopped when she felt a light tug on her pants leg.

Looking down, she saw Lady pulling on the denim; a strangely worried expression on her canine face.  “Hey, its okay pup.  Probably just Jerome home early.  If it isn’t, there’s no reason for me to open the door,” she reassured, feeling a bit apprehensive despite her own words.  In all the time she had owned the mutt, she’d never seen the dog act like this.  It was almost as if the animal could smell something she couldn’t, putting her slightly on edge.  So, needless to say, she approached the door with a degree of caution.

“Who is it?” called her wavering, unsure voice while her heart crawled its way into her throat.

“Just Jerome ma’am.  Could you open the door?  My arms are a bit full,” responded a familiar baritone that filled her with relief as well as made her feel a bit silly.

“Yeah, sure.  Sorry I can’t help you carry anything too heavy,” chirped out of her while she swung the door open with a welcoming smile.

In an instant, all good humor fell off her visage as she took in the face of one of her exs before her.  The shameful glance he was giving her certainly wasn’t helping, a murmured apology coming out of him just as she caught movement over his shoulder.  Next thing she knew, she was being shoved into the house while her beloved pet barked and snarled.  Gasping as she found a bulging forearm jammed in her throat, Raven craned her eyes upward while true terror dump into her body.  Staring down at her with a malicious smile was her father, Tony close on his heels.  “Hey babe, figured you needed a bit of a family reunion,” the near psychotic male purred, a fair amount of ill intent in his sky blue eyes.

That was when Terry was lifting the expectant female by her throat, biceps tensing as his lips curled back to show his teeth in an expression vaguely reminiscent of a snarl mixed with a smile.  “You didn’t tell me the good news baby.  You should have told me you were expecting,” the trembling beast hoisting her husked out, a strange light shining in his own eyes.  Then he was slamming her onto the hard tile before kicking the medium sized dog away, ignoring the canine’s squeals of pain as she ran away.

“Always hated that useless rat,” hissed the monstrous facsimile of her father as he was slowly raising as tightly balled fist.

Eyes going wide, the former freelancer curled around her small dome to protect her growing baby just before she received a hard blow to her ribs.  Gagging as she found the breath knocked out of her, Raven closed her eyes on instinct as she made herself as small as possible.  Already, memories of her childhood were invading; none of the scenarios that had happened ever being this bad.  While he had yelled at her and had hit her a few times, he had never been this crazed; this bent on seeing her in pain.  A sudden kick to her back jolted her out of her thoughts, a faint squeal leaving her while her muscles rebelled and cramped.

Outside, Miah could only wince as he heard the pair get started; the sounds of fists and shoes hitting skin all too clear.  Feeling faintly nauseous, he used their distraction to step off to one side; pulling his phone from his jeans pocket.  Punching in a certain, three digit number; the goateed male began to pace while an operator picked up.  “Hello?  I’d like to report a pregnant woman getting attacked by two men,” he husked out, striding to his well hidden car and pulling out his car keys in the process.

At some point, Raven’s consciousness had simply slipped away; heading to her safe place.  Right now, it was only her body’s natural drive that was protecting her baby and nothing else but she just couldn’t care about that right now.  Not while in this place where nothing mattered.  As long as she was here, she wouldn’t feel the pain.  She wouldn’t feel them pull at her hair while punching and kicking her prone body.  She wouldn’t feel herself get lifted by her thick locks, only to get punched viciously in the face.  She wouldn’t hear the biting slurs flung at her while the pair assaulting her tried to uncurl her so they could get at her occupied womb.  All she had to worry about was remaining peaceful and just watching the clouds float by on a purple sky.

Even when the paramedics tried to rouse her, she didn’t leave.  She stayed buried deep inside herself, even as they attached all manner of tubes to her arms and covered her face with an oxygen mask.  Faintly, she could hear echoes of the bad ones that had driven her here; their yells making her feel faintly anxious.  A sin in this place.  A place meant to protect her and soothe her.  So she simply shoved the sounds away, only aware of the voices of the people helping her.  From the sounds of it, they were taking her to the hospital; asking who they should call.  “Owner of the house is Brian Hugh Warner.  We should call him and tell him what happened,” declared a much older voice as she became aware of a lifting sensation.

Uncaring of what was going on and sure she was safe anyway, she continued to watch the clouds.  Besides, she didn’t dare leave until  _ he _ came back.  The safe one, the one that she trusted with her very life.  Surely,  _ he _ wouldn’t allow anything bad to happen.  Surely  _ he _ would make it safe to leave here.  So she waited, even when she heard a panicked baritone purring in her ear; begging her to wake up.  She waited, smiling at the floating balls of cotton in her imaginary world.


	17. In My Field of Paper Flowers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: ‘You give up your future, lose your dream, are stained with despair... yet at the same time, you shake off you past, fight reality, and never lose your nobility.’ - Sebastian Michaelis (Black Butler)

Steady beeping filled an occupied room while a hunched figured cupped their head in their hands.  Only a soft knock on the door broke the stillness, the shadowed person not even seeming to notice.  Then, ever so slowly, the door opened so a stranger could poke their head in.  “Johnny?” rumbled a cautious baritone, the door swinging open wider so a bulky person could enter the room.

“John-o... none of this is your fault.  It was beyond any of our control,” the voice continued, a large hand landing on a broad shoulder.

“I should have stayed with her until Brian got back.  I should have been with her today...,” husked a broken voice, the lanky figure shuddering as a ragged sob left him.

“No... that’s not the case at all...  You had no reason to think anything like this would go down.  Besides, she has to be independent at some point.  You can’t be with her 24/7 and you can’t blame yourself for what amounted to be unfortunate timing,” insisted the other voice before they were moving to a switch on the wall and turning on the light.

In a flash, the dark figures were revealed to be Jonathan Davis and Johnny Depp.  Not even seeming to notice the illumination, the actor stared at the figure lying in the hospital bed; his face twisted into a mask of misery.  Sighing, the metal star walked back to his best friend’s side to place a hand between his shoulderblades.  “Look, Raves won’t blame you and I doubt the asshole will either.  You’ve gotta pull out of this and be strong.  For both her and her child,” the singer insisted, pursing his lips as he took in the tubes going into Raven’s too pale arm.

The poor woman had bruises all over her face and arms, both eye blackened as well as swollen.  Only her slight baby bump had escaped the assault, her effort in protecting the child truly paying off.  Even when the EMTs had come, they had a hard time uncurling her so they could check her for internal bleeding.  Yet, despite a lack of any dire injury, she wasn’t waking up.  She was responsive to stimuli but wouldn’t open her eyes.  The psychologist in the hospital had suggested she had retreated inside herself and would come out when she was ready.  That it would only be a day or two.

It was now going on a week with no sign of her improving.  A few days in, Ginger and Amanda had left; wanting to see what was going on with Manson.  After he had heard about the incident, the rockstar had gone disturbingly silent.  He had made no mention of what he intended to do about his tour or if he was going to come back.  On top of that, nothing Johnny could do or say seemed to be drawing the unconscious woman out of her inner world.  He felt utterly lost and useless, wanting to help her but being wholly unable to.  It was understandable he had broken under the strain.  Yet, he really didn’t have the luxury of feeling sorry for himself.

Groaning, he ran a hand through his disheveled locks before running it over his grizzled face.  Dark rings circled under bloodshot eyes, stubble covering his gaunt cheeks.  He was a shadow of his former self.  The worst thing was, he was helpless to stop it.  No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t pull out of the black pit that was his guilt.  Even with Davis’ helpful words, he couldn’t help but feel he could have prevented what happened.  His only solace was that the police were currently hunting down the pair that had done this to her.

Mismatched eyes glared at the matted carpet under his platform boots, ignoring the voices coming from the other side of the closed door.  Despite Amanda’s insistence, he was still on tour.  It was the only choice he had and he felt his sanity slowly slipping.  At least he had managed to shave some time off by giving into some protest groups and cancelling concerts in highly Christian cities.  A small consolation, given what was happening.  Right now, being on tour was the last he wanted.  What he wanted was a very bloody revenge.

Just the idea of them daring to do this to his fiance made his blood boil as his hands curled into tight fists on his upper thighs.  Closing his eyes, he allowed violent images to fill his head.  Images of him gutting her father, neutering her exs, of carving her name into their skin so they wouldn’t forget the reason for their torture.  Gritting his teeth, he swallowed his pain as he felt the van come to a stop.  While he couldn’t return, he could put his feelings into his performance.  Give tonight’s audience one Hell of a show.

Glaring at the closed door, Amanda fought her urge to yell at the superstar as he exited his room.  Instead, she cuddled her son to her chest; shifting her gaze to her husband.  To her shock, he was surprisingly neutral.  Even sympathetic to the thin male that came staggering out.  Huffing out slowly, she allowed herself to really look at this man.  The haunted creature she saw before her nearly took her breath away.  Instead of the calm, callous beast she had expected, she saw a broken shell.  And a Hell of a lot of anger.

While she had initially thought he was still on tour because he simply didn’t care.  Now, she found herself feeling a huge amount of sympathy.  The man looked like a trapped wolf, ready to fight at any sign of danger.  In fact, he looked ready to run at the first notice.  If he had a choice, he’d likely be with Raven; a revelation that made her feel guilty for doubting him.  After how much he had improved, she really did owe him the benefit of the doubt.  The only problem was, how could she apologize without really apologizing.  Then, it came to her; an absolutely devious smirk coming across her face.

While Manson and the others unloaded, the journalist was hidden in the shadows; having long ago handed off her baby to Jeordie.  Pressing a phone to her ear, she paced while she listened to the litany of excuses from the goth rocker’s manager.  “All that is well and good but how do you think the press will react when I tell them about what’s going on?  You know, about how you’re keeping your client from being with his fiance during her time of need,” she cajoled, using her inner paparazzi to its full advantage.  While she normally hated to use this part of herself, she found the timing more than appropriate.  Thankfully, her ploy seemed to work wonders; the man on the other end being much more willing to negotiate.

As the pair watched the unconscious woman for any signs of waking up, they had very different expressions on their faces.  While Depp looked outright miserable, Davis looked vaguely pissed.  Having his arms crossed over his chest as well as a faint glare on his face, he looked about ready to pop.  Instead, he simply shifted his gaze to his closest friend.  “So, why isn’t he here with her now?  Its been more than enough time for him to cancel his shit and get his ass back here.  He’s done it before,” snarled the musician, looking about ready to punch something.

“That’s the problem.  He’s left tour early far too often.  People are beginning to get pissed.  As much as Brian wants to be here, he just can’t  He has to be going absolutely mad by now,” Johnny replied, not taking his eyes off Raven for even a second.  If she so much as twitched her eyelids, he wanted to see it.

“That’s bullshit.  If he wanted to, he could intimidate that manager into letting him off because of this.  I bet he’s trying to escape the situation.  I bet he doesn’t care for Raves as much as he says he does,” Jonathan hissed, his grip tightening on his biceps while he gritted his teeth.  That was what woke the actor up.

In an instant, he was on his feet; gesturing with his head that they should go outside.  Then he was heading to the lobby, Davis close on his heels.  Making his way to a semi-private corner where they wouldn’t disturb anyone.  Rounding on the metal star, he had a furious expression on his handsome face.  “You have no clue!  You haven’t been around enough to know anything about how he treats her.  About how much she means to him.  It was hard enough for him to go on tour in the first place.  She had to talk him into it,” Depp hissed, keeping his voice low so it wouldn’t carry.

Jonathan could only stare, some of his anger fading for astonishment.  Then he was rubbing the back of his head while a tension left his broad shoulders.  “Sorry, you’re right.  I shouldn’t assume anything.  Especially when I don’t see most of what happens.  But you almost talk like you’re part of their relationship,” he conceded, unsurprised when he noticed the other man blushing heavily.

“I am...  Brian noticed how much Raven trusted me and how much we meant to eachother.  It also helped that he had a few feelings of his own for me,” came a confession that would have disgusted anyone else.  Davis simply didn’t react.

Not only was it Johnny’s business what he did in private, but the feelings seemed to be mutual for everyone involved.  In fact; the more he learned, the more he regretted opening his mouth.  They were obviously very close knit and there was every chance Raven had heard what he had said.  If that was the case, it was unlikely to have helped the current situation any.  “Sorry for earlier man...  I spoke out of turn.  I’m just... I’m scared for Raves.  Even if she regains consciousness, this incident is likely to have changed her.  She may be right back to square fucking one,” Jonathan explained, grimacing as he avoided the other man’s gaze.

“I know...  But... I think she’s stronger than that.  She’s changed so much, gotten so much more confident.  Still, the way she’s retreated into herself is concerning,” Johnny conceded, grimacing when he noticed they had attracted some onlookers.  Not only that, but it seemed like the head nurse was heading their way; a disgruntled expression on her face.

“Let’s head back to her room now.  Just... keep the Brian bashing to a minimum.  He’s her whole world,” Depp requested before heading back the way they had come at a hurried clip.

As the final notes of the song trailed off, Manson chucked a mic stand into the audience in a fit of temper.  Stomping off the stage with his band on his heels, he stubbornly choked back tears as he clenched his hands by his sides.  He wanted to scream, he wanted to punch someone, he wanted to tear apart the room he’d been given.  But, most of all, he wanted to tear his manager a new one.  It was only the sight of a rather smug looking Amanda in his dressing room that wiped all of that from his mind.

Raising a shaven brow, he moved to his vanity; grabbing a bottle of water from the cooler beside it.  Spinning off the top, he took several swallows before turning to address her presence.  “You don’t normally come back here.  Something bothering you?” he asked, his gaze going to the baby in her arms as he felt a sharp pang inside him.  As far as he knew, the child was alright but he’d forced himself to stay out of contact.  If he was given a daily feed of Raven’s condition, there would be no way he would be able to tough it out.  He would go insane and just end up ‘going rogue’.

“No.  But I have one question.  Just what are you doing here?” came a question that confused the shit out of him.

Giving her a perplexed glance, Manson decided taking a seat was good idea.  Taking a breath as he pinched the bridge of his nose, the weary superstar took in a ragged breath.  “I don’t really have a choice.  If I did, I’d be on my way home,” he explained as calmly as he could, reigning in his bubbling temper.

“Well, you should be on your way back then.  I had a talk with your manager.  Turns out he didn’t want to be the press’ new whipping boy.  Mostly due to the fact most people wouldn’t see him in a kind light for keeping you away from your fiance when she needs you,” the journalist pointed out, an oddly malicious look on her pale face.

The ‘Antichrist Superstar’ simply stared at her, the wheels turning in his head as he tried to absorb what she’d told him.  It couldn’t have been that easy could it?  This had to be a cruel trick.  Yet, the expression on Amanda’s face told him she was all too serious.  Feeling his heart cramp in his chest, he rushed forward to plant a kiss on her mouth before running out of the dressing room; leaving behind his confused band.  Sputtering, the writer wiped her mouth with the back of her hand as she made a disgusted face.  “If he wanted to thank me, all he had to do was say so,” she complained playfully while she and the others left as well.

Time seemed to pass so slowly, taking up tiny bits of eternity.  Some of it, he had Davis with him.  Most of it, he was alone; Jerome keeping watch outside.  Honestly, he prefered it this way.  As much as the singer wanted to help, his dislike of Brian only made things harder.  Even if the silence gave his mind more opportunity to eat away at him.  The goth rocker was not only one of his best friends but was becoming a beloved partner.  It was hard to hear nothing but venom and distrust directed toward the man.

Sighing while he rubbed the stubble on his cheek, Johnny grinned sardonically at the unconscious woman in the hospital bed.  “Guess I can see a bit of why you stuck by him through all the shit,” he murmured, reaching for her hand as he fought to keep humor in his voice.  If all he could do was keep her calm, then he would do his best too accomplish this.

“I hope you’re doing okay, wherever you are.  I just wish I could tell you any news of Brian.  I also wish you would wake up.  Your assailants are in jail and Jerome is standing guard.  You’re safe,” he encouraged despite knowing it would do no good.  That was when he heard a commotion coming from down the hall.

Getting to his feet, he went to the door; sticking his head out so he could hear what was going on.  When he heard Brian’s voice arguing with another man, he was running down the hall.  Relief overrode any confusion as he moved, his voice stuck in his throat when he reached the lobby.  Flinging open one of the double doors, he looked around the large room until he saw the rockstar facing off with the doctor.  “Stop!  He’s her fiance!” came out of him finally, stopping the argument in its tracks.

Staring at the changing sky while purple flowers brushed her sensitive skin, Raven sat up when she sensed a faint ripple.  A faint scent.  A familiar voice floating in the wind.  All of this was enough to draw her back to the world she had been hiding from.  While she was loathe to leave this sense of peace, she also wanted to be with  _ him _ .  To be aware again, as much as it would hurt.  Most of all, she wanted to stop causing pain.  Despite pushing it away, she had been well aware of how guilty Johnny felt.  So, with a final glimpse of this place, she was closing her eyes and allowing herself to rise.

“You mean she just won’t wake up?  Christ...  I wish I could have been here sooner,” husked a voice as if through mud, muffled and hard to hear.

“I just wish I could have helped her to regain consciousness.  I never should have taken on acting jobs while you were on tour,” responded another voice, making her heart ache.

_ ‘No, it wasn’t you!  Oh, I’m so sorry Johnny,’ _ she wanted to call out as everything wavered and her eyes fluttered.

“Wait, she’s waking up,” announced the voice of her fiance while color flooded into her vision.

Wincing, Raven squinted to protect her eyes from the harsh overhead lights while she took in the blurred figures leaning over her.  Flinching on instinct for a split second, she reached out for both of them with a quiet whimper.  Memories were already flooding back, memories of what had been done to her as well as how much pain she was put through.  Already, she wished she could go back to her peaceful place.  Back to where there was none of this strife.  Yet, she knew it would only make things worse.  Manson and Johnny had to be worried as it was, not to mention Amanda.  She couldn’t just allow herself to avoid reality for any longer.

In a second, the pair was hugging her while a doctor and a nurse came into the room.  “We thought we heard her signs picking up.  Would you two mind giving us some space so we can check her vitals?” the older male requested while the young man beside him moved to check the IVs.  Reluctantly, the famous pair pulled away from her to allow them to do their work.

“Alright, follow my finger with your eyes,” the doctor began, holding up his index finger.

Sighing as she watched the scenery pass outside the tour bus, Amanda was torn between amused and irritated.  When she had told Manson the news, she had expected him to rush the entire group out to the van.  She hadn’t expected him to run off in a taxi to get a rental car.  Still, she couldn’t really blame him.  With what had happened, he’d likely want to see Raven was alright as soon as possible.  Not to mention the baby she carried.  The journalist just wished she could have gone along.  The former artist was one of her dearest friends after all.

Leaning into the drummer beside her, she snuggled their son against her bosom while she watched him sleep.  He was another reason she had wanted to go with the rocker.  She had wanted to introduce her soul sister to Kyle.  The child that had been born during the incident.  Something she still felt guilty about deep inside.  While she knew she couldn’t have done anything about what happened, she still felt some responsibility.  “Honey...  None of this is your fault.  I hope you know that,” assured a slightly raspy mid-tone in her ear, breaking her out of her semi-stupor.

“I do but...  Christ, why did my labor have to get bad so quickly?  Why couldn’t I have held on until Jerome got home?” came out of her before she could stop it, causing her to blush down to the roots of her hair.

“You couldn’t have done anything to choose when it happened.  Labor isn’t something you can turn off and on at will,” reasoned her husband, wrapping a loose arm around her upper shoulders as he pressed a kiss to her temple.

“I know but...  I just... I find it hard to accept that there was nothing I could do,” came an admission while she burrowed her face into his slightly muscled chest.

Keeping her gaze locked on her fiance’s, Raven half listened to the doctor’s checklist.  From the sounds of it, she was pretty much fine.  They just wanted to keep her for observation in case she slipped back into her own world.  A fact that she and her partners were perfectly fine with.  Still, she was beginning to wonder just where the others were.  “Where are Amanda and the rest?” she asked as soon as the doctor was gone.  Manson immediately got a shameful expression on his painted face.

“I, uh, kinda left them behind in my rush to get to you.  Kinda feel a bit like a jerk for that given the fact she’s the reason I’m here,” he explained, glowering at Johnny when he began to laugh.

“Man, wouldn’t wanna be in  _ your _ shoes.  Mandy can have quite a temper,” the thespian teased, dark eyes glittering with inner mirth.  Even Raven was giggling at his poor planning, covering her mouth in a poor effort to hide it.

When Manson shot her a glare, she simply held up both hands in surrender; a smirk curling her lips.  “Sorry, but Johnny has a point.  Once she catches up to you, you’re pretty much dog food.  It might be even worse than that, depending on what she had to do to help you,” she pointed out, outright laughing when her normally confident lover began to look a bit worried.

“Uh... she threatened my manager with press exposure if he didn’t make a good excuse for my tour being cancelled early again,” he responded, only looking more apprehensive when Raven merely chuckled harder.

“Oh boy...  You’re in some trouble,” she cackled, the sight of her so happy doing both men some good.  Especially with a lot of her bruises still fading away.  In fact, the group shared a good laugh, the left over tension gradually fading away.

Amanda huffed as she blew a stray curl out of her face.  Surely they had to be getting close.  It felt like they had been travelling for days.  Looking up at Ginger as he held their son, she allowed a small smile to grace her face.  While being a drummer for a rock band, he seemed to take to being a father quite naturally.  Already, there was deep affection glowing in his dark eyes whenever he looked at Kyle.  He hardly let the infant out of his sight and was eager to do his part to care for the child.

Right now, he was busy humming some tune to help the babe sleep.  Kyle had been unsettled by all the moving and had been too fussy to sleep.  It was only Ginger’s efforts that helped him get any manner of rest at all.  It honestly melted her heart, making her hopeful for what would happen if they decided to have another child  Right now, Kyle was more than enough for the both of them.  While mild mannered, the baby needed a lot of attention.  Yet, she couldn’t await for the arrival of Raven’s own child.

They could swap stories as well as advice, watching their children grow up together.  In all honesty, with her luck, their kids would end up getting together.  With the environment they were growing up in, it wouldn’t be impossible.  Besides, it wouldn’t be like the two were blood related.  Still, the thought made her shudder slightly.  Whatever child came from Manson and Raven’s union was bound to be... interesting, to say the least.  Not to mention the fact that the other woman was like her sister.  It would be more than a little weird.

Watching the scenery, Raven felt both relieved and apprehensive about going home.  After a few hours, it was determined she was fine to be discharged.  Unfortunately, that had been before Amanda could catch up to them.  She could only hope the journalist was somehow waiting for them at Manson’s domicile instead.  So, when she saw the tour bus in the driveway as they pulled up, she was utterly gobsmacked.  Rushing out of the car as soon as it was going slow enough, the former artist was running toward her friend; the two women meeting in a hug.

Johnny and Manson stood side by side, watching while Amanda introduced Raven to her son.  Licking his lips as he swallowed, the thespian avoided the other man’s gaze; guilt overwhelming him.  “Brian... I can’t tell you how sorry I am for what happened.  If I hadn’t left...,” he began, only stopping when the rockstar swooped in to take his lips in a rough kiss.  Licking the thespian’s lips briefly, he pulled away with a low growl that emanated from the bottom of his diaphragm.

“Stop.  Its no one’s fault.  No one, but the people who attacked her.  I never blamed you for a moment.  Neither does she.  Besides, Raven isn’t the only one I’ve missed while I was gone,” husked a baritone in his ear before the ‘God of Fuck’ was leaning down to nip his racing pulse.


	18. Our Little Lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: ‘In case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight.’ - Truman Burbank (The Truman Show)

Looking up at Twiggy while he led her down the aisle, Raven did her best to keep the feelings welling in her throat at bay.  It had been a very long few months and it had taken forever to get literally anything accomplished.  From getting her the proper prenatal care, to getting her the perfect dress; it had all felt like a massive struggle.  It certainly hadn’t helped that every member of the band had an opinion for how the ceremony should be run.  Let alone how she should look.

At a certain point she’d had to put her foot down, with the help of Johnny, Amanda, Manson and Davis of course.  This was mostly about her and Manson and she should be allowed to pick out her own dress.  Besides, no dress she chose would hide just how pregnant she was anyway.  Another hurdle she’d had to tackle for this wedding.  While the others wanted to wait until after the baby was born, she had insisted on performing the ceremony on schedule.  She really didn’t want to wait until next year.

As she took in the sight of both Manson and Johnny in their tuxes, she couldn’t bring herself to regret her decision.  Outwardly, this ceremony would just be about her marrying the singer.  In subtext, this was a ceremony for Depp as well.  With everything he had helped them through, the thespian had more than earned his place by their sides.  Looking back at Amanda, she smiled at the woman that was her Maid of Honor; quickly losing the battle against her overwhelming happiness as the priest began to speak.

This moment had been far too long in coming, the child inside her rolling in agreement.  It had taken three restraining orders as well as posting Jerome outside that made any of them feel safe enough to go through this in this first place.  Leaning into Manson when it came time to recite their vows, she brought out the sheet she had written hers on.  “Manson, I have loved you for many years before I met you.  Since the day you came into my life, we have worked to better eachother.  Through all the ups and downs, we have stayed by the other’s side.  All I want is to spend the rest of my life with you,” she whispered, sniffling when she saw how much her words had affected her soon to be husband.

Swallowing thickly, his mismatched eyes welled up with tears while his tongue flicked out to lick his black painted lips.  “Raven, you really have helped me become a better man.  You helped me learn that its okay to care about something other than myself.  That its acceptable to have emotions.  If I had never met you...  I shudder to think what would have become of me,” husked out his unsteady baritone, his eyes meeting hers while the priest pronounced them man and wife.  Leaning down, the ‘Antichrist Superstar’ kissed his ebony clad bride.

 

_ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A Month Later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ _

 

Amanda paced while the rest of the band watched her, variations of amused worry on their painted faces.  “What’s taking so long?  Shouldn’t a doctor have been out here?” she whispered as she moved, looking ready to pounce on the first doctor that entered the lobby.

“It takes time sweetie.  Just try to relax,” whispered in her ear while strong arms wrapped around her protectively.

“I know.  Its just hard.  She’s my sister from another mother, you know?” she whispered, allowing Ginger to lead her to a chair.  Leaning into him as she sat down, she heaved a ragged sigh.

“At least Johnny and Manson are with her.  We’ll know the moment something happens, I promise,” the percussionist soothed, a doctor peeking into the room as soon as he finished speaking.

“Are you the party with Raven and Marilyn Manson?” he asked, eyes locking on the leather clad band.

In an instant, he was swarmed; questions bombarding the unfortunate man like bullets.  “I will be glad to tell you the gender of the child as well as the condition of the mother if you all will give me some breathing room,” he suggested, waiting until they had backed off to clear his throat and adjust his tie.

“As I was saying.  Its a little girl.  Raven came through it fine.  You can even go back to visit if you would like,” he informed, leaving the group to descend into excited chatter.

All except Amanda.  Already, reality was pulling away from her as she absorbed the information.  With the child being a girl, it was a foregone conclusion that her worst fears would come true.  Images of the wedding rushed her brain while the group ushered her forward, a strange feeling of reluctant acceptance filling her.  Even if it happened, all it would do was make their family stronger.  So, with a smile, she went in to greet the newest member of their odd house.

  
  
  
  
  


**_The End_ **


End file.
